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#Post#: 16878--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family ....
DIR By: peony
Date: October 22, 2018, 11:03 pm
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The four-hour car trip would be a perfect excuse not to attend,
if you need a concrete reason.
#Post#: 16986--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family ....
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: October 24, 2018, 5:46 am
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--- Quote from: Jem link ---
>
> It sounds like the OP is secure in her decision to not have
her daughter around her brother and his partner. The OP doesn’t
need to justify her decisions, just be secure in them.
>
> I am curious how the OP knows the brother and partner are
still actively using illegal drugs? I am not clear on whether
the partner is a man or a woman, but if a man I would imagine
there was an adoption (which would have discovered the illegal
drug use and stopped the adoption I would think), and if a woman
I would assume some prenatal care, etc. that would have
discovered the drug use and intervened. Is child services
involved in some way?
>
--- End Quote ---
I assume the OP knows because her mother or other relatives have
told her that they (Bro and his partner) are still using.
#Post#: 17006--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family ....
DIR By: Jem
Date: October 24, 2018, 9:02 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: LifeOnPluto link ---
>
> [quote author=Jem link=topic=745.msg16796#msg16796
date=1540226134]
> It sounds like the OP is secure in her decision to not have
her daughter around her brother and his partner. The OP doesn’t
need to justify her decisions, just be secure in them.
>
> I am curious how the OP knows the brother and partner are
still actively using illegal drugs? I am not clear on whether
the partner is a man or a woman, but if a man I would imagine
there was an adoption (which would have discovered the illegal
drug use and stopped the adoption I would think), and if a woman
I would assume some prenatal care, etc. that would have
discovered the drug use and intervened. Is child services
involved in some way?
>
--- End Quote ---
I assume the OP knows because her mother or other relatives have
told her that they (Bro and his partner) are still using.
[/quote]
Is this what happened, OP? How do these people know the brother
and his partner are using, and why would they share this with
the OP?
#Post#: 17051--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family ....
DIR By: HenrysMom
Date: October 24, 2018, 3:28 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Jem link ---
>
> [quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=745.msg16986#msg16986
date=1540377960]
> [quote author=Jem link=topic=745.msg16796#msg16796
date=1540226134]
> It sounds like the OP is secure in her decision to not have
her daughter around her brother and his partner. The OP doesn’t
need to justify her decisions, just be secure in them.
>
> I am curious how the OP knows the brother and partner are
still actively using illegal drugs? I am not clear on whether
the partner is a man or a woman, but if a man I would imagine
there was an adoption (which would have discovered the illegal
drug use and stopped the adoption I would think), and if a woman
I would assume some prenatal care, etc. that would have
discovered the drug use and intervened. Is child services
involved in some way?
>
--- End Quote ---
I assume the OP knows because her mother or other relatives have
told her that they (Bro and his partner) are still using.
[/quote]
Is this what happened, OP? How do these people know the brother
and his partner are using, and why would they share this with
the OP?
[/quote]
I’m more interested in knowing if OP actually receives an
invitation.
#Post#: 17095--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family ....
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: October 25, 2018, 9:05 am
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--- Quote from: peony link ---
>
> The four-hour car trip would be a perfect excuse not to
attend, if you need a concrete reason.
>
--- End Quote ---
I don't think the OP needs an excuse. Her brother cut her off
without a word and she can do the same. He didn't even have it
out with her; he just ghosted after one last parting shot. She
texted him and he responded with "who is this?" knowing full
well who was texting.
I don't know who the invitation is from (if an invitation is
indeed coming), but I recommend the OP RSVP "no" without an
excuse or explanation. The only reason I don't suggest ignoring
the invitation is she'll know she's above reproach as I said in
my previous post. It also leaves the door open if her brother
ever reach out with a proper one-on-one apology.
#Post#: 17266--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family ....
DIR By: WorkingMum
Date: October 26, 2018, 4:13 pm
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Well the invitation did arrive... The RSVP details say "RSVP:
Brother or Brother's Partner". No address, no phone number, and
they have me blocked on all social media. Seems to me, the
decision as to whether to RSVP or not has been taken out of my
hands.
I know they are still using as the one brother I still speak to
(the only one of my siblings not using or involved with someone
using, illegal drugs) told me. This brother still speaks to my
mother (I don't - posters from the old board may remember seeing
my posts about this), who constantly complains that middle
brother is still using.
It's a messy, complicated family - you literally couldn't make
this stuff up. I am considered the black sheep of my family
because I do not condone drug use, and stopped sending my mother
money when I realised it was being used to support youngest
brother's drug addiction.
#Post#: 17267--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family .... Updated page 3
DIR By: Bada
Date: October 26, 2018, 4:32 pm
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Does the invitation have a return address? Is there a remote
possibility they expect you to be old school and send a paper
response? (Not that you ought to make that effort, just
curious.)
Do you think your brother actually sent it?
How odd.
I'm sorry your family is a mess. I'm glad you're the black
sheep since it's with good cause. I hope you have found lots of
non-biological family to spend your time with instead.
#Post#: 17269--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family .... Updated page 3
DIR By: WorkingMum
Date: October 26, 2018, 4:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Bada link ---
>
> Does the invitation have a return address? Is there a remote
possibility they expect you to be old school and send a paper
response? (Not that you ought to make that effort, just
curious.)
>
> Do you think your brother actually sent it?
>
> How odd.
>
> I'm sorry your family is a mess. I'm glad you're the black
sheep since it's with good cause. I hope you have found lots of
non-biological family to spend your time with instead.
>
--- End Quote ---
There was no return address on the envelope so I have to admit
to being a bit perplexed as to how to reply to the RSVP. I have
no idea who sent it - the envelope was addressed to DD and me,
but the invitation was a generic photo collage of baby with the
party details on it.
Thank you - I have wonderful group of friends that DD and I
spend time with. they are all very supportive of my decision to
avoid my biological family.
#Post#: 17279--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family .... Updated page 3
DIR By: Pattycake
Date: October 26, 2018, 6:12 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: WorkingMum link ---
>
> [quote author=Bada link=topic=745.msg17267#msg17267
date=1540589528]
> Does the invitation have a return address? Is there a remote
possibility they expect you to be old school and send a paper
response? (Not that you ought to make that effort, just
curious.)
>
> Do you think your brother actually sent it?
>
> How odd.
>
> I'm sorry your family is a mess. I'm glad you're the black
sheep since it's with good cause. I hope you have found lots of
non-biological family to spend your time with instead.
>
--- End Quote ---
There was no return address on the envelope so I have to admit
to being a bit perplexed as to how to reply to the RSVP. I have
no idea who sent it - the envelope was addressed to DD and me,
but the invitation was a generic photo collage of baby with the
party details on it.
Thank you - I have wonderful group of friends that DD and I
spend time with. they are all very supportive of my decision to
avoid my biological family.
[/quote]
Most invitations have a Where: or Place: on them, so one knows
where they are supposed to go for the party; if it has that I
guess that's where they are assuming you would RSVP. Or they are
assuming you know they still live where ever you last saw them.
But I would still be suspicious that it's not actually them
inviting you, that it might be someone trying to get you there
to attempt a reconciliation without either party's permission.
#Post#: 17283--------------------------------------------------
Re: Crappy Family .... Updated page 3
DIR By: WorkingMum
Date: October 26, 2018, 6:26 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Pattycake link ---
>
> [quote author=WorkingMum link=topic=745.msg17269#msg17269
date=1540590857]
> [quote author=Bada link=topic=745.msg17267#msg17267
date=1540589528]
> Does the invitation have a return address? Is there a remote
possibility they expect you to be old school and send a paper
response? (Not that you ought to make that effort, just
curious.)
>
> Do you think your brother actually sent it?
>
> How odd.
>
> I'm sorry your family is a mess. I'm glad you're the black
sheep since it's with good cause. I hope you have found lots of
non-biological family to spend your time with instead.
>
--- End Quote ---
There was no return address on the envelope so I have to admit
to being a bit perplexed as to how to reply to the RSVP. I have
no idea who sent it - the envelope was addressed to DD and me,
but the invitation was a generic photo collage of baby with the
party details on it.
Thank you - I have wonderful group of friends that DD and I
spend time with. they are all very supportive of my decision to
avoid my biological family.
[/quote]
Most invitations have a Where: or Place: on them, so one knows
where they are supposed to go for the party; if it has that I
guess that's where they are assuming you would RSVP. Or they are
assuming you know they still live where ever you last saw them.
But I would still be suspicious that it's not actually them
inviting you, that it might be someone trying to get you there
to attempt a reconciliation without either party's permission.
[/quote]
I doubt this is the case. I have little to do with the rest of
my family and no-one seems interested in changing that. The
party is not being held at a local venue
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