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#Post#: 15775--------------------------------------------------
Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: Venus193
Date: October 10, 2018, 7:30 am
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A friend asked me about this situation:
Joe and Harry agreed to meet for dinner the next day and agreed
on a time. Joe told Harry he might be a little late because he
had been working late most days that month; Harry said this was
no problem. The next day Joe unexpectedly got out of work early
and had two hours to kill before the scheduled dinner time.
However, he hadn't eaten much that day and was starting to get
hungry. He arrived at the restaurant a few minutes early, the
waiter seated him and handed him a menu. His hunger was bad
enough that he was feeling sick, so he ordered right away.
Harry was a few minutes later than the agreed time and arrived
just as the waiter brought Joe's food. He was a bit miffed and
said he thought that it was rude for Joe to order before he got
there.
Was he? Never having been in this situation myself I speculated
that this might depend on how long these guys know each other
and possibly whether any attempt was made to contact Harry about
the unexpected early release from work. Or that Joe should have
had a snack or something immediately when he got off work.
#Post#: 15778--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: Pattycake
Date: October 10, 2018, 8:06 am
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I think he could have stopped somewhere and gotten a snack to
tide him over for a half hour. I get like that sometimes, and I
just grab a couple of crackers or something. Or he could have
ordered a small appetizer while he waited. Or he could have
called the other fellow and said hey I am off early, can we meet
earlier?
#Post#: 15779--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: kckgirl
Date: October 10, 2018, 8:10 am
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I agree with Pattycake. He should have either gotten a light
snack or called to see if they could meet earlier.
#Post#: 15780--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: STiG
Date: October 10, 2018, 8:15 am
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Or just ordered an appetizer to tide him over.
It was definitely rude to order his entire meal before Harry got
there.
#Post#: 15781--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: camlan
Date: October 10, 2018, 8:16 am
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I think Joe had several options other than ordering dinner right
away. As you mention, he could have had a snack. He could have
paid more attention to what he ate during the day so that the
problem never occurred. He could have contacted Harry and tried
to change the plans.
Or he could have ordered a salad, bread and butter, soup, or an
appetizer right away, to take the edge off his hunger, and
waited to order his main meal when Harry arrived.
I think Joe was a little rude. On the plus side, he didn't
cancel the dinner at the last moment. But ordering his dinner
before Harry got there meant that Harry had to sit there,
watching Joe eat, while Harry's meal was prepared. Then when
Harry's meal came out, Joe was probably finishing his dinner.
Just awkward all around.
Joe had several options open to him. He chose probably the
rudest one available to him. And the reason I think Joe's
actions were rude is because he didn't consider Harry or the
effect of his actions on Harry in making his decision. He had
made an arrangement to eat dinner with someone, but his
decisions really meant that Joe ate dinner and then Harry ate
dinner. It's not the worst thing that could happen, but it
wasn't very polite. Now, if Joe has a medical issue that means
he has to eat at certain times, that gives him a bit of a pass,
but again, he is an adult, he should be able to plan his day so
that he eats when he needs to.
Of course, Harry doesn't come out smelling like roses, either.
It is also a breach of etiquette to point out someone else's
rudeness.
I'm also curious about just how early Joe was and how late Harry
was. Getting a waiter's attention, ordering food and getting the
food usually takes more than "a few minutes." I'm guessing Joe
was 15 or more minutes early and Harry was 15 or more minutes
late, for this scenario to play out as described.
#Post#: 15782--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: October 10, 2018, 8:22 am
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Yup. It was rude to order a full meal.
If hunger hit unexpectedly as it often does, he could have
ordered a small app to share or ask if they have a bread basket
(like others pointed out).
#Post#: 15786--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: Venus193
Date: October 10, 2018, 8:52 am
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I also think that this put the waiter in an awkward position.
Depending on the lag time between Joe ordering food and Harry's
arrival he could have finished his food before Harry arrived if
he ordered something that didn't have to be prepared from
scratch. I pointed that out to my friend using my favorite
Indian restaurant in my area where vegetable biryani (which he
might order) would take far less time than the tandoori chicken
(my choice); however I don't have those details behind the
story.
#Post#: 15788--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: lowspark
Date: October 10, 2018, 8:55 am
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--- Quote from: Venus193 link ---
>
> However, he hadn't eaten much that day and was starting to get
hungry.
--- End Quote ---
This is where the rudeness begins.
If I know I'm going to meet a friend for dinner at a certain
time, then I need to plan my day so that I don't either eat too
much at lunch, causing me to not be hungry at dinner, or, as in
this case, not eat enough at lunch, causing me to be so hungry
that I just can't wait.
I just reread the OP and realized that it was JOE who said he
might be late but got there early. So Joe led Harry to believe
that he would most likely be late, which probably explains why
Harry was himself a few minutes late, and then he got there
early and ordered a full dinner which arrived just as Harry was
arriving? Depending on how quick the service is in the
restaurant, it looks like Joe must have arrived at least 15-20
minutes early.
IMO, the lack of communication and the timing make Joe rude.
Communication: He should have let Harry know he'd be there
early.
Timing: Getting there that much earlier after telling Harry he'd
probably be late.
After both of those mistakes, the least he could have done was
just order an appetizer and wait for Harry to arrive before
ordering dinner.
It would make me very uncomfortable to meet someone for dinner
at a restaurant, being no more than "a few minutes" late, and
find them already being served their dinner.
#Post#: 15792--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: October 10, 2018, 9:09 am
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Yes, it is rude to order your meal before the other's arrive.
Only pass I give if there is a very young child.
Joe piddled around for 2 hours. He had plenty of time to get a
small snack prior to arriving at the restaurant. Or he could
have ordered an appetizer.
#Post#: 15807--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this rude (Restaurant situation)?
DIR By: lmyrs
Date: October 10, 2018, 10:44 am
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Joe was pretty rude here. I thought that you weren't supposed to
start eating until everyone at your table receives their plate.
Ordering before the other party got there is rude. He had a
tonne of other options mentioned by previous posters. He chose
the worst one.
Actually, maybe second worst. Worst would have been eating his
full meal and then bailing on Harry since he was already done
eating.
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