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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 14165--------------------------------------------------
I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: MOM21SON
Date: September 19, 2018, 11:05 pm
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Ok, now I'm worried that I overstepped. I have a friend,
actually I'm friends with her mother, but I have know the
daughter 30 ish years. She was 6 when her mom and I met.
Anyway she posted on FB that she was looking for a kindle
paperwhite. So I told her I had one and I would send it to her,
She was thrilled. She sent me a message that she was thrilled
because hers was stolen a few months ago and she loved that
thing.
I told her that it may take me awhile to find it. Mine is
probably 5 or so years old and is most likely in a box in the
garage. Then finding the cord would be a challenge and then
getting my information off it.
This am I woke up to a notice from Amazon about their kindle
sale. So what the heck, I sent her and brand new one. Now DS
is telling me, that while it was nice, she was going to feel
like she owes me. I really don't want her to feel that way.
She is a lovely young woman, planning her wedding, raising 3
children, one with special needs and I've never seen her ask for
anything but advice.
So was I wrong? It was very affordable and saved me a lot of
work. Next time I won't be so quick to offer.
#Post#: 14166--------------------------------------------------
Re: I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: 4Children
Date: September 19, 2018, 11:11 pm
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No overstepping. I think what you did was lovely.
#Post#: 14169--------------------------------------------------
Re: I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: Rho
Date: September 19, 2018, 11:53 pm
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You sent her an early wedding gift right?
#Post#: 14170--------------------------------------------------
Re: I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: MOM21SON
Date: September 20, 2018, 12:16 am
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--- Quote from: Rho link ---
>
> You sent her an early wedding gift right?
>
--- End Quote ---
That's what I was thinking and the husband part of the gift can
be her sanity! She really is such a lovely young woman.
#Post#: 14204--------------------------------------------------
Re: I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: Bada
Date: September 20, 2018, 9:47 am
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I think the age/generational difference is important here. If
one of my mom's friends gave me a big gift, I wouldn't feel
obligated to repay, since she was older and more well
established and I'd know she was only doing it because it
wouldn't break the bank. If it was a peer, I might feel like I
should push back or question it more, since maybe they were
giving more than they could/should.
Did you include a note about why buying new was actually easier?
That would also help make sure she understood it was simply a
thoughtful gift rather than some huge gesture that must be
repaid.
#Post#: 14208--------------------------------------------------
Re: I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: September 20, 2018, 10:02 am
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I get what DD is saying. I might feel a bit taken aback by the
gift, too. Although, I am also not the type of person to easily
ask for a used one; I would want to compensate you in some form.
--- Quote from: Bada link ---
>
> Did you include a note about why buying new was actually
easier? That would also help make sure she understood it was
simply a thoughtful gift rather than some huge gesture that must
be repaid.
>
--- End Quote ---
This would help me greatly! Something along the lines of "I
attempted to look for the old Kindle and realized that I was
going to spend hours looking through boxes. Please accept this
replacement, as it will make my life much easier!"
#Post#: 14215--------------------------------------------------
Re: I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: September 20, 2018, 10:24 am
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Did you send it to her or did Amazon sent it to her directly?
If Amazon sent it, I would wonder what the heck is going on.
If you sent it, I may think it's your old one that you never
took out of the package (depending on some factors)
I think it's best to let her know what your thought process is
though.
#Post#: 14224--------------------------------------------------
Re: I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: iolaus
Date: September 20, 2018, 11:30 am
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I'd find it weird and that I owed you
#Post#: 14232--------------------------------------------------
Re: I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: Two Ravens
Date: September 20, 2018, 12:15 pm
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I think it was very nice. Did you include a note with it? If
not, I’d sent her an email to let her know what’s up.
#Post#: 14233--------------------------------------------------
Re: I offered to send someone something and sent a new version
instead.
DIR By: Model
Date: September 20, 2018, 12:21 pm
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I have the warm fuzzies :)
I kind of get what your DD is saying but where is it written
that we can't do a really nice thing for the people in our lives
when the opportunity arises?
I think you're fabulous!
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