DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Family and Children
*****************************************************
#Post#: 13917--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
DIR By: LurkingGurl
Date: September 16, 2018, 3:49 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I don't believe he has gotten any feedback from the people he
left the note for.
And on the Nextdoor thread, of the 4 or 5 responses, only one
has been critical:
"Nice thing you did but I would be careful about phone calls
such as that it could be a set up to rob you or worse. I would
call Police and give them information and let them check it
out."
The only way I would see what he did as ok is if the conditions
were bad enough to warrant it and "grandma" had already
contacted the police and the police were too busy responding to
other calls to do anything about it.
Our police department here is such that if someone truly had a
concern, they would have no problem going and doing a welfare
check, even in the rain. Even to put someone's mind at ease.
And it would be at the police department that there would be a
copy of any restraining orders preventing contact.
It's just kind of weird that Grandma would go around the local
officials.
That is the problem I have with him doing these things--it's not
his place. Aside from the fact that it leaves him open to
liability, in terms of possibly being a victim himself in some
way, he could get himself in the middle of someone else's
conflict. He kind of acts like he is someone official when he's
not.
The other thing that really bothered me was that he actually
posted the name of the street that these people live on.
He just has poor judgement and poor boundaries. And you can't
criticize anything he does because you get labeled an uncaring
person who wants grandma to worry!
His organization does do some good for the community. They put
in doggy poop bags at different places.
My beef with him stems from him organizing a political rally
that he tried to paint as a different kind of gathering. I
was not the only person who had a problem with this.
No one has a problem with him organizing a political gathering
of any kind--it was solely him trying to make it seem like
something different, something more inclusive and community wide
and therefore immune from criticism of a political nature that
was the issue.
Aside from that, he is a blowhard. He brings more dogs than
allowed to the dog park and holds court there speaking loudly
about his political opinions which are very strong and expressed
in very distasteful and immature ways.
Generally, I give him a wide berth. I think I will block him on
Nextdoor so I don't have to see anything posts anymore.
#Post#: 13934--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
DIR By: Hanna
Date: September 16, 2018, 8:25 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
The details make me change my mind!
#Post#: 13946--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: September 17, 2018, 9:02 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Under normal circumstances (no storm), I would say that the
better action is to involve the police. I know that we are not
really looking at MIL's behavior, but she should have attempted
to reach out to the local authorities. And the better action
would have been for this guy to either suggest calling the
police ("the local non-emergency number is XXX") or for him to
tip off the law to this posting. As so many have pointed out
there are many reasons why intervening further is less than
ideal.
The storm changes things for me only because I think that it is
a special circumstance. It would have still been better to call
the police, but I can understand the urge of just wanting to
help in this case. I have a friend who's neighborhood was
effected by the storm and I have seen neighbors doing wonderful
things for each via her Facebook page (although I would
recommend to them that they should probably communicate more
privately). But, I get it.
A note on a door, I do not find that too intrusive. There is
still some risk involved, but I do not find it overly forward.
(Most evenings I arrive home to a note on my door from some
political entity or salesperson.) I would think it a decent
neighborly thing to do, although I would not fault anyone for
refusing to get involved.
But yes, the background information about this guy does change
things a bit. It sounds like his actions are dictated more by
his own need to feel like a hero rather than actually trying to
help someone. I, too, would probably be rolling my eyes at him.
#Post#: 13964--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
DIR By: dani321
Date: September 17, 2018, 2:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Well, now I have another thing to worry about in regards to my
mom and how crazy she can get if she can't get in touch with me
as fast as she thinks she should! It's only happened a couple of
times in my adult life, but when she starts worrying, she really
gets worried and will start calling everyone and anyone that she
thinks may know where I am. I could totally see her doing this
if she didn't live locally.
I totally agree with the OP that he shouldn't have posted their
street name, or really, there was no reason to post about it at
all, except to give himself a pat on the back. If he really
wanted to highlight how helpful the Facebook or NextDoor page
is, he could have posted about the scenario without any details.
I wouldn't be super happy if I were the family he mentioned. I
thought it was pretty presumptuous even before I saw OP's
background info, and after reading the background, I see why you
give him a wide berth!
#Post#: 20489--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: December 1, 2018, 4:25 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
well, it sounds like this was all he did:
--- Quote ---
> left a note requesting they call and put this concerned
grandma at ease.
--- End Quote ---
So he didn't give their number to grandma; he left it all up to
the folks in the house, who could ignore it if they wante.
#Post#: 20504--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
DIR By: OnyxBird
Date: December 1, 2018, 9:01 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Even assuming no problems between MIL and the family, I don't
see how his note was supposed to have "helped." ??? Her call to
their home went to either an answering machine or voicemail, so
she already had the opportunity to leave them a message saying
she was worried and would like a call to confirm their safety.
If she's that "concerned," I assume she left that message. They
won't see this guy's note on the door until they get home, where
her message is already waiting for them. His note is almost the
equivalent of calling them himself and leaving a second message
to say "Hey, your grandma left you a message. I, Random Guy,
think you should call her back."
Also, did MIL basically call up a stranger to give him the
address of her SIL's empty house? I guess it's a good thing for
SIL that Random Guy is (presumably) just a blowhard instead of a
burglar...Another reason why the police would be the appropriate
people to check up on the family rather than some random
stranger.
#Post#: 20509--------------------------------------------------
Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
DIR By: TeamBhakta
Date: December 1, 2018, 10:13 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
This comes up sometimes on the hiking boards at Reddit, where
someone will say "Has anyone on the trail seen this girl ? Her
name is Jennifer Smith & here's a picture. I haven't heard from
her in a while." The protocol is "If your relative / friend is
truly lost or hurt, you would be contacting the authorities
first. We wouldn't know if you're truly her loved one or a
stalker. And you're sending strangers to follow her."
*****************************************************
Page 2 of 2
DIR Previous Page