URI:
   DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Bad Manners and Brimstone
  HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       *****************************************************
   DIR Return to: Family and Children
       *****************************************************
       #Post#: 13822--------------------------------------------------
       Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: LurkingGurl Date: September 15, 2018, 11:11 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       This was posted on Nextdoor last night.
       "Last night around 7:30 I received a call from a concerned
       grandma living in the north.  It appears her son-in law and
       three boys were unaccounted for and she was very worried.  This
       family lived on Fake Rd here in "Cityville."  Their phone went
       to an answering machine so she was unable to make contact.  I
       drove over and left a note requesting they call and put this
       concerned grandma at ease.
       She found us on the net.
       Friends Of Cityville was available and in spite of the weather
       help was sent and results achieved.
       AGAIN I SAY, ' WE HAVE AWESOME NEIGHBORS""
       The guy who posted it fancies himself a community leader with
       his own "Friends of Cityville" organization, in spite of the
       fact that he could not get himself elected to city council.
       Personally, I don't like him--he is maliciously opinionated and
       has poor boundaries.
       But, I was thinking how his little project here could really be
       a problem for someone and not the noble service he makes it out
       to be.
       For instance, maybe the son-in-law doesn't want to have contact
       with his mother-in-law.  And how would this be such an emergency
       situation that you would go out in the midst of all sorts of
       flash flood warnings to go deliver a note?
       For the record, while "Cityville" was originally going to be in
       the path of the hurricane a few hundred miles inland, one can
       look on the internet and see that the storm really has not
       impacted it much at all, certainly not to the point of thinking
       someone is missing or incapacitated.
       But, I know that if I were trying to avoid someone and so wasn't
       answering their calls, that it would be a troubling intrusion to
       find that they had gone through some weird community group to
       leave a note for me in a storm.
       My perception could be being influenced by how I feel about this
       guy.  But, at the same time, it could be just one more reason I
       do feel this way about this guy---he does things like this that
       I don't think are well thought out.
       What do you all think?
       #Post#: 13829--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: Bales Date: September 15, 2018, 12:28 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       My gut reaction is that I think grandma could be any stalker and
       if she was that concerned, she could have called the police for
       a wellness check.  Something smells and the guy who posted is
       too self-congratulatory to realize it.  And even if it worked
       out in this case, that's just dumb luck on his part. I don't
       honestly understand why anyone would look up a random group on
       the internet instead of going through proper channels except in
       an emergency (like if the area was severely impacted by the
       hurricane and volunteer rescue groups were involved.)
       #Post#: 13833--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: Hanna Date: September 15, 2018, 1:22 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Without knowing the guy, I generally think this was a really
       nice thing to do.  There are all kinds of circumstances where I
       might think otherwise, but I don't believe always minding your
       own business under every condition makes for a nice world.
       My neighborhood's Nextdoor site has been useful in so many ways.
       Building community is hard in the fast-paced life. I appreciate
       the people that try to make the world a smaller place by helping
       out their neighbors.
       #Post#: 13834--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: guest725 Date: September 15, 2018, 1:54 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Yes, I think your perceptions are influenced by your dislike of
       this person.
       Even if you're right about the family dynamics, it was a note on
       the door that the owner could have ignored. I don't see how a
       note is an intrusion. He didn't break in, he merely passed on
       another family member's concern. So be it. It's none of your
       business.
       #Post#: 13838--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: Kimberami Date: September 15, 2018, 2:40 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       My grandmother got hooked in by a scammer a few years ago. She
       sent him some money before I found out what was going on. I had
       her number changed to an unlisted one. The scammer was able to
       gain access to a neighbor of her. He told the neighbor that he
       was a family member that needed to get in touch with my
       Grandmother. The neighbor gave grandmother the information.
       Grandmother called the scammer back, and I lost several hours
       before I could get control of the situation again.
       If the Mother in law in the OP really needed to get in contact
       with her family, she should have contacted law enforcement.
       #Post#: 13841--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: GardenGal Date: September 15, 2018, 4:06 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote]My gut reaction is that I think grandma could be any
       stalker and if she was that concerned, she could have called the
       police for a wellness check. [/quote]
       This^^^^.  There are a handful of people I definitely want to
       stay out of my life, and if a well-meaning person in my
       neighborhood, who might not even know me personally, tried to
       put them in touch with me I'd be furious.
       #Post#: 13844--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: sandisadie Date: September 15, 2018, 4:57 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I am a fan of Next Door.  It is a very useful tool in my city
       and I have personally used it to good effect a few times in the
       past year.  I do think this Grandma was wrong in how she tried
       to contact her family though.  Several years ago I had a similar
       situation and contacted the police in a town in another state
       and they went and checked on a family I was concerned about.
       #Post#: 13846--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: Bales Date: September 15, 2018, 5:44 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       My reading of the OP was that this person posted on their
       Nextdoor site to essentially give him or his unofficial group a
       pat on the back, not that the (alleged) grandma found him
       through the site.  But I may be misunderstanding the OP.
       #Post#: 13853--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: chigger Date: September 15, 2018, 7:40 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       If I was the son in law, I would be very peeved that my MIL
       contacted people she doesn't know and one of those persons went
       to my home(!) during a storm (!) and pasted a note on my door.
       Correction, I would be highly pissed off, because she just
       announced that I may have evacuated and my home is empty. She
       was not privy to the family's movements and she inserted herself
       in a way that was very wrong.
       #Post#: 13884--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Overly Concerned Family Members
       By: Bada Date: September 16, 2018, 9:54 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       If the phone went to an answering machine, as the original
       author said (and NOT voicemail), it means they still had power
       in the house. That plus OP's comment that the storm quite
       clearly missed Cityville per the weather maps, makes me think
       this guy was too involved. These people were not returning the
       calls on purpose. Getting a note on the door would have been
       annoying (or possibly scary, as others have said).
       When he says "results were achieved", does he mean the note was
       successfully posted or does he mean "Grandma" reported back to
       him that the family checked in? I guess if it's the latter, then
       at least the people who received the note didn't find him super
       intrusive since they made the call.
       *****************************************************
   DIR Next Page