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#Post#: 23938--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Update #45
By: AtHomeRose Date: January 13, 2019, 1:39 pm
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I think it is very unfair to criticize the fact that the friend
did not write the thank you note. It is not rude or a slight to
have either half of the couple write the note regardless what
“side” the gift came from. We don’t know how the couple divided
up thank you notes, maybe the groom wrote all the notes because
that was a task he agreed to be in charge of, maybe they divided
the thank you note list down the middle alphabetically so they
each had the same number of notes to write, maybe the groom
penned the note as the bride dictated what to write. All of
these are strategies I have known couples to use.
I can see being disappointed in how generic the note was,
however even that seem like looking for something to criticize.
“Thank you for ‘gift’ we will enjoy it for a long time” is
pretty accepted thank you note format and not something to take
offence at.
I do think once they found the miss spelled name they should
have re-written the note, so the cross-out is sloppy but in my
mind a minor faux pas.
#Post#: 23939--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Update #45
By: LurkingGurl Date: January 13, 2019, 1:54 pm
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[quote author=AtHomeRose link=topic=671.msg23938#msg23938
date=1547408354]
I think it is very unfair to criticize the fact that the friend
did not write the thank you note. It is not rude or a slight to
have either half of the couple write the note regardless what
“side” the gift came from. We don’t know how the couple divided
up thank you notes, maybe the groom wrote all the notes because
that was a task he agreed to be in charge of, maybe they divided
the thank you note list down the middle alphabetically so they
each had the same number of notes to write, maybe the groom
penned the note as the bride dictated what to write. All of
these are strategies I have known couples to use.
I can see being disappointed in how generic the note was,
however even that seem like looking for something to criticize.
“Thank you for ‘gift’ we will enjoy it for a long time” is
pretty accepted thank you note format and not something to take
offence at.
I do think once they found the miss spelled name they should
have re-written the note, so the cross-out is sloppy but in my
mind a minor faux pas.
[/quote]
I think you're missing the bigger picture here. The TY note was
an opportunity for the Bride to mend fences or at least tone
down the anger. By not writing the TY note herself, or at least
having the Groom put a certain amount of care into it, she is
sending the message that she doesn't want to be friends. And as
some have pointed out, if that was the case, she should have
returned the gift. Handling the TY note this way under the
circumstances is a slight.
#Post#: 23946--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Update #45
By: Bada Date: January 13, 2019, 6:02 pm
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[quote author=AtHomeRose link=topic=671.msg23938#msg23938
date=1547408354]
I think it is very unfair to criticize the fact that the friend
did not write the thank you note. It is not rude or a slight to
have either half of the couple write the note regardless what
“side” the gift came from. We don’t know how the couple divided
up thank you notes, maybe the groom wrote all the notes because
that was a task he agreed to be in charge of, maybe they divided
the thank you note list down the middle alphabetically so they
each had the same number of notes to write, maybe the groom
penned the note as the bride dictated what to write. All of
these are strategies I have known couples to use.
I can see being disappointed in how generic the note was,
however even that seem like looking for something to criticize.
“Thank you for ‘gift’ we will enjoy it for a long time” is
pretty accepted thank you note format and not something to take
offence at.
I do think once they found the miss spelled name they should
have re-written the note, so the cross-out is sloppy but in my
mind a minor faux pas.
[/quote]
But it literally said "Thank you for the gift," from how I read
the update. OP didn't indicate they filled in the actual name of
the gift by placing "gift" in quotes like you're doing here.
I'd be annoyed at a super generic thank you instead of a chance
to mend fences too.
#Post#: 23947--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Update #45
By: gramma dishes Date: January 13, 2019, 6:38 pm
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[quote author=AtHomeRose link=topic=671.msg23938#msg23938
date=1547408354]
... I can see being disappointed in how generic the note was,
however even that seem like looking for something to criticize.
“Thank you for ‘gift’ we will enjoy it for a long time” is
pretty accepted thank you note format and not something to take
offence at. ...
[/quote]
When did "Thank you for the gift" -- unnamed -- become accepted
thank you note format? And what if the gift had been something
perishable? Then even the 'we will enjoy it for a long time'
would not even be acceptable. Yes, this thank you note is
indeed offensive! But you do have a point that at least they
sent something! One step up at least from no acknowledgement at
all.
#Post#: 23988--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Update #45
By: NyaChan Date: January 14, 2019, 2:43 pm
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I guess I should say that I wasn’t actually offended by
the note. I had been thinking that the thank you note -which I
had little doubt she would send as this friend often does focus
on what “correct” behavior is - might give me an
idea of whether she’d ever want to talk again or if she
really was “done” as she said. With that coloring
my thoughts, the note did feel a little cold and I wondered if
the husband had written it because she may not have wanted to
write to me but didn’t want to be rude by not sending a
note at all. So for my part it was a little sad, but also some
closure.
#Post#: 24188--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Update #45
By: LifeOnPluto Date: January 17, 2019, 4:05 am
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[quote author=NyaChan link=topic=671.msg23988#msg23988
date=1547498587]
I guess I should say that I wasn’t actually offended by the
note. I had been thinking that the thank you note -which I had
little doubt she would send as this friend often does focus on
what “correct” behavior is - might give me an idea of whether
she’d ever want to talk again or if she really was “done” as she
said. With that coloring my thoughts, the note did feel a
little cold and I wondered if the husband had written it because
she may not have wanted to write to me but didn’t want to be
rude by not sending a note at all . So for my part it was a
little sad, but also some closure.
[/quote]
If I were in your shoes, this is what I'd probably think too,
OP. She knows full well that it's rude not to send a thank-you
note. So one had to be sent! But she chose the most oddly
formal, generic way to do that.
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