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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 13736--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: CamelliaHouse Date: September 14, 2018, 8:46 am
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Is the friend who was rude to you the bride? Her behaviour is
quite immature and selfish. Has she even looked at the news?
Emotions are no doubt running high - she may come to regret how
she treated you. I suggest that you dry your tears and feel
confident about your decision; safety always comes first and
this friend has shown a lack of respect and maturity. Ignore her
texts, take the high road, and try to enjoy your weekend away
from Hurricane Florence!
I am so sorry, NyaChan. I still think you made the right
decision. And you are not the only one, as you mentioned that
the friend you were scheduled to travel with also made the
decision to cancel.
Feel better, you did the right thing!
#Post#: 13738--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: NyaChan Date: September 14, 2018, 9:07 am
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Thank you for being supportive. I wasn’t expecting this from
her. Yes, my friend who texted that is the bride. A year or
two ago I would have said she was my best friend but things
drifted after the engagement. I know she is probably really
stressed out and disappointed right now. Especially so since it
does look like the weather ultimately won’t be that bad. I
believe she lost a couple tables to cancellations. She was also
upset that I didn’t call her the night before when she could
have still made changes to the seating chart (I didn’t know
that) and I’d made her now have to scramble 24 hrs before her
wedding. She then said she was finished and done with me. My
head is reeling. I didn’t get to properly apologize.
#Post#: 13742--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: camlan Date: September 14, 2018, 10:01 am
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I think the bride should have communicated better with her
guests from the start. She should have been contacting people
and letting them know if the wedding was still on, cancelled, or
rescheduled, not leaving her guests wondering what to do.
A gracious host would acknowledge that a hurricane is a good
reason for people to cancel travel plans. Even if that hurricane
gets downgraded, it is still a serious storm. And even tropical
storms have done great damage--check out what happened to
Vermont when Hurricane Irene, by that time downgraded to a
tropical storm, swept through. Towns were completely cut off as
roads and bridges washed away.
And the best skills of weather forecasters can't always predict
the exact path of a hurricane. The storms can stall for hours,
or veer off the expected path.
I know the bride is under stress. It is difficult to plan a big
event where you are both host and honored guest. But bridal
stress aside, a good host would acknowledge that the conditions
and predictions over the past few days would have guests
cancelling. Not because they don't want to attend her wedding,
but because they don't want to deal with the hurricane.
(This is one reason I'm not fully on board with the Happy Couple
hosting their own wedding. In the past, when the bride's parents
hosted, the stress of the planning was shared with the bride's
parents, and the parents would have been in contact with the
guests. It is very difficult to plan a huge event and be the
focus of the event at the same time.)
#Post#: 13744--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: CamelliaHouse Date: September 14, 2018, 10:34 am
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I have to wonder if the bride has been just as rude to all of
the other guests who cancelled. Sounds like someone is burning a
lot of bridges this week.
#Post#: 13746--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: VorFemme Date: September 14, 2018, 10:49 am
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In 1994, we lived in the middle of Georgia - I remember because
I had a new baby and our Fourth of July party got rained out -
and then the hurricane/tropical storm wandered in a circular
path around Middle Georgia for several days, raining itself out.
It was raining like I had never seen before and hope to never
see again.
It was so bad that coffins were floating out of the ground and
going down rivers due to the flooding. Our basement flooded.
With a seven month old, it took me nine months to finish
cleaning that basement (had to wait for naps or him to be in a
Mothers' Day Out nursery program to get down there and deep
clean & lug out trash, as he was too little to take down there
before it was clean.
In February, I took out the last trash from the basement and it
was picked up while it was raining. That night the basement
flooded again...at least there was a lot less down there and a
lot of what was down there was on newly installed cheap shelving
to keep it off the floor.
I don't take hurricanes lightly. I've since lived through Ike
and had house guests due to last year's Harvey (our house was
probably less than an inch of water away from flooding - but
that last half inch of rising water that would have crept over
the edge of the slab foundation didn't happen...). It wasn't
due to lack of rain - we were just lucky enough to have a flood
control area between our development and the one behind it that
was large enough to keep taking on the flood waters long enough
that we did not flood. Even if the ILs were slightly freaking
out due to having been in their house when it flooded a day,
maybe two days earlier.
#Post#: 13750--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 14, 2018, 11:46 am
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I imagine this has not been easy on the bride. I can only
imagine the disappointment of planning and looking forward to
your wedding day only to have it spoiled by a big storm. Her
reaction was hurtful and rude, but only the OP knows whether
this was true to her character or the result of too much stress.
I would probably give the bride some space and not reply to her
messages. I would mail my gift with warm wishes and anticipate
that if she is a good person that she will come to realize that
she behaved poorly and that she will apologize. The OP made the
decision based on safety, which is always the right way to go.
I don't think that it's necessarily rude to continue holding the
wedding. If it was in an evacuation area or an area predicted to
get severe weather (which I acknowledge that that definition
would differ greatly among us), then yes, it would be rude to
have a wedding. But if it appears to be relatively safe, then I
think that it's fine. But one would need to understand that this
storm could effect the guests and should be more understanding.
I would feel the same if the wedding was in California and the
guests were coming from North Carolina... some understanding is
required.
And I agree that if the HC had communicated a bit more, they
could have expressed that there was a deadline to make changes.
This would have allowed the guests to have a point as to when to
make the decision.
#Post#: 13751--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: Rose Red Date: September 14, 2018, 12:01 pm
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This is on her. She knew about the hurricane for how long now?
She should have contacted guests that if they plan to cancel due
to the hurricane, to tell her by X date so she can change the
seating.
#Post#: 13754--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: Pattycake Date: September 14, 2018, 12:53 pm
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[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=671.msg13751#msg13751
date=1536944493]
This is on her. She knew about the hurricane for how long now?
She should have contacted guests that if they plan to cancel due
to the hurricane, to tell her by X date so she can change the
seating.
[/quote]
And changing the seating isn't a big hairy deal. My friend was
changing the seating plan at her daughter's wedding in between
the ceremony and the reception based on who decided not to stay
and who brought additional, unexpected guests. It is a stressful
time, but that and being a bride doesn't mean everyone has to
bow to your whims. You made the best decision you could with the
information you had at the time. I hope she relents and realizes
how foolish she is being.
#Post#: 13764--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: BeagleMommy Date: September 14, 2018, 2:34 pm
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NyaChan, the fact that this woman is throwing a temper tantrum
because her friends and family have decided not to put
themselves in harm's way of a hurricane says a lot about her.
You have nothing to feel bad (or guilty) about.
While the storm has been downgraded that only means that the
winds are not as intense. This storm is massive. Last check it
was about 600 miles wide so many areas are going to be affected.
Bride has every right to feel disappointed, but she should not
be making people feel guilty about choosing to stay safe.
#Post#: 13769--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cancel or take your chances? Bad update #18
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: September 14, 2018, 2:47 pm
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I'll be honest. I thought you were being very risky even
contemplating still going. Something this big, even with it
being downgraded is still life threatening. I understand her
stress and disappointment, but expecting people (who are
depending on weather authorities, who are phrasing everything in
probabilities and percentages) to risk their lives falls into
Special Snowflake territory.
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