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#Post#: 13741--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: STiG Date: September 14, 2018, 9:59 am
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I thought we did well to get all our thank you notes written and
out within 8 weeks of the wedding. A wedding the end of
October, 8 weeks puts you right to Christmas. If she's putting
a personalized thank you note in Christmas cards where the lists
intersect? And manages to have a photo of the happy couple to
put in/make up the card? She's doing a great job, IMO. I would
be totally fine with it. I would also be fine with a Christmas
card, assuming I'm on her regular list, and a thank you note
before the end of January. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think
standard etiquette is that a wedding thank you should be sent
and received within 3 months of the wedding.
#Post#: 13755--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: lmyrs Date: September 14, 2018, 1:07 pm
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[quote author=Lilac link=topic=667.msg13708#msg13708
date=1536884180]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=667.msg13649#msg13649
date=1536847221]
[quote author=Lilac link=topic=667.msg13606#msg13606
date=1536795684]
If the wedding tok place at Thanksgiving, no problem. Any
earlier and they clearly are just trying to kill two birds with
one stone. Tacky.
Thank-you notes are supposed to be social correspondence that a
person actually wants to execute, to maintain and nurture an
ongoing relationship. The note being more important than the
"thankyou" part.
If the sender merely views the forumulaic or rote message as an
obligatory and onerous "receipt" they must issue for a gift I
have given or a kindness I have extended -- then save your time,
keep your stamp and don't bother.
[/quote]
Sending Christmas Cards are not mandatory in my experience. And
since this very likely is the first time that the couple is
sending Holiday Greetings as a couple, there probably isn't the
expectation from a wide number of people that there already
exists a tit for tat exchange of a "I send you a card so you
must send me one". I don't understand the concept that they are
using one card to cover 2 social obligations.
As far as the the message being more important than the thank
you, it appears from the OP that the bride does plan to include
a personal message of appreciation in her cards.
[/quote]
The point is that there is a big lag time between the wedding
and the thank-you note, the excuse being to create a combo
holiday greeting/thank-you.
As I said above, if the wedding took place around Thanksgiving,
fine. Otherwise the wedding thanks should've been in the mail
WAY before the holiday.
If one has time to open a gift, or ash a check, or utilize a
gift card -- one has the five minutes to write out, seal and
stamp a thank-you card.
[/quote]
The wedding is at the end of October. If she gets the cards out
by mid-late November, that's not too late. It's also a fine time
to be sending Christmas cards.
And, the couple could go buy a set of generic thank you cards
and write their thank yous and have them out the door the next
day. Or, they could wait a few weeks to get thank you cards made
with their wedding photos. Isn't that the norm now? Even if it's
not, it's definitely what I prefer. I'd rather wait a month for
a thank you with the picture than get a generic card the next
day.
#Post#: 13756--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: Hmmm Date: September 14, 2018, 1:14 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Lilac link=topic=667.msg13708#msg13708
date=1536884180]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=667.msg13649#msg13649
date=1536847221]
[quote author=Lilac link=topic=667.msg13606#msg13606
date=1536795684]
If the wedding tok place at Thanksgiving, no problem. Any
earlier and they clearly are just trying to kill two birds with
one stone. Tacky.
Thank-you notes are supposed to be social correspondence that a
person actually wants to execute, to maintain and nurture an
ongoing relationship. The note being more important than the
"thankyou" part.
If the sender merely views the forumulaic or rote message as an
obligatory and onerous "receipt" they must issue for a gift I
have given or a kindness I have extended -- then save your time,
keep your stamp and don't bother.
[/quote]
Sending Christmas Cards are not mandatory in my experience. And
since this very likely is the first time that the couple is
sending Holiday Greetings as a couple, there probably isn't the
expectation from a wide number of people that there already
exists a tit for tat exchange of a "I send you a card so you
must send me one". I don't understand the concept that they are
using one card to cover 2 social obligations.
As far as the the message being more important than the thank
you, it appears from the OP that the bride does plan to include
a personal message of appreciation in her cards.
[/quote]
The point is that there is a big lag time between the wedding
and the thank-you note, the excuse being to create a combo
holiday greeting/thank-you.
As I said above, if the wedding took place around Thanksgiving,
fine. Otherwise the wedding thanks should've been in the mail
WAY before the holiday.
If one has time to open a gift, or ash a check, or utilize a
gift card -- one has the five minutes to write out, seal and
stamp a thank-you card.
[/quote]
While Emily Post says to send the notes for gifts received
before the wedding within a couple of weeks, for gifts received
at or after the wedding you have up to 3 months. If I were to
receive a thank you note mid December for a gift given in
October, I'd find that timely.
#Post#: 15377--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: TamJamB Date: October 4, 2018, 3:12 pm
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It wouldn't bother me at all, so long as it was timely (not more
than a couple months after the wedding) and included a
handwritten, personalized note.
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