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#Post#: 13611--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: jazzgirl205 Date: September 12, 2018, 7:36 pm
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[quote author=Model link=topic=667.msg13465#msg13465
date=1536673767]
I think this perfectly fine, especially since she says she is
personalizing them with a written thank you message.
[/quote]
I found out I was pregnant 6 weeks after my brother died. This
was probably the reason I received an embarrassingly large
amount of baby gifts (I didn't even register). All were
beautiful, thoughtful gifts. I felt weird and grabby sending
announcements after such an outpouring of generosity. I
compromised by waiting until my dd was born before I sent out my
TY notes. Included in the TY note was all the birth
information. Maybe that was tacky.
#Post#: 13615--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: gramma dishes Date: September 12, 2018, 8:05 pm
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[quote author=jazzgirl205 link=topic=667.msg13611#msg13611
date=1536798971]
[quote author=Model link=topic=667.msg13465#msg13465
date=1536673767]
I think this perfectly fine, especially since she says she is
personalizing them with a written thank you message.
[/quote]
I found out I was pregnant 6 weeks after my brother died. This
was probably the reason I received an embarrassingly large
amount of baby gifts (I didn't even register). All were
beautiful, thoughtful gifts. I felt weird and grabby sending
announcements after such an outpouring of generosity. I
compromised by waiting until my dd was born before I sent out my
TY notes. Included in the TY note was all the birth
information. Maybe that was tacky.
[/quote]
I think what you did was sweet. It gave you an opportunity to
personalize the notes a little more as in "Katie really loves
the toy stuffed skunk you gave her. She just looks at its face
all the time and I do believe she's communicating with it! ;-)"
Rather than just "Thank you for the cute stuffed animal."
Not at all the same situation as the wedding gift and the
Christmas card dilemma.
#Post#: 13623--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: lmyrs Date: September 12, 2018, 8:50 pm
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Do any of these people have any reason to believe that they
would receive a Christmas card from the couple any other year?
Why wouldn’t you receive this card an think, “what a lovely
Christmas-themed thank you card just in time for Christmas”
rather thank “Harumph. Can’t believe I didn’t get two cards.
They’re so tacky. I’m throwing this in the garbage.”
That would reflect much more poorly on those with this holier
than though attitude than it would on the couple.
#Post#: 13642--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: gramma dishes Date: September 13, 2018, 7:58 am
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[quote author=lmyrs link=topic=667.msg13623#msg13623
date=1536803428]
... “Harumph. Can’t believe I didn’t get two cards. They’re so
tacky. I’m throwing this in the garbage.” ...
[/quote]
I can't imagine anyone thinking such a thing. Where is that
coming from? ???
#Post#: 13646--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: Model Date: September 13, 2018, 8:42 am
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[quote author=lmyrs link=topic=667.msg13587#msg13587
date=1536779072]
This thread is why people don't send thank you notes. You can't
win. Send out Christmas themed thank you notes and you're lazy
and ungrateful. Your card is getting thrown straight in the
garbage.
It's a personal thank you note inside a Christmas-themed card.
Would this bride even be sending out Christmas cards if she
didn't have the wedding pictures to put in them? My guess is a
great big no. Keep in mind that this bride has no obligation to
send anyone a Christmas card at all. This entire thread is
causing me to roll my eyes so hard, I'm worried I'm going to
pull a muscle.
[/quote]
THANK YOU (no pun intended :)) I could not agree more.
#Post#: 13647--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: Model Date: September 13, 2018, 8:48 am
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[quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=667.msg13642#msg13642
date=1536843492]
[quote author=lmyrs link=topic=667.msg13623#msg13623
date=1536803428]
... “Harumph. Can’t believe I didn’t get two cards. They’re so
tacky. I’m throwing this in the garbage.” ...
[/quote]
I can't imagine anyone thinking such a thing. Where is that
coming from? ???
[/quote]
From Wanaca in Reply #6
#Post#: 13649--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: Hmmm Date: September 13, 2018, 9:00 am
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[quote author=Lilac link=topic=667.msg13606#msg13606
date=1536795684]
If the wedding tok place at Thanksgiving, no problem. Any
earlier and they clearly are just trying to kill two birds with
one stone. Tacky.
Thank-you notes are supposed to be social correspondence that a
person actually wants to execute, to maintain and nurture an
ongoing relationship. The note being more important than the
"thankyou" part.
If the sender merely views the forumulaic or rote message as an
obligatory and onerous "receipt" they must issue for a gift I
have given or a kindness I have extended -- then save your time,
keep your stamp and don't bother.
[/quote]
Sending Christmas Cards are not mandatory in my experience. And
since this very likely is the first time that the couple is
sending Holiday Greetings as a couple, there probably isn't the
expectation from a wide number of people that there already
exists a tit for tat exchange of a "I send you a card so you
must send me one". I don't understand the concept that they are
using one card to cover 2 social obligations.
As far as the the message being more important than the thank
you, it appears from the OP that the bride does plan to include
a personal message of appreciation in her cards.
#Post#: 13703--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: Wanaca Date: September 13, 2018, 6:08 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Model link=topic=667.msg13647#msg13647
date=1536846509]
[quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=667.msg13642#msg13642
date=1536843492]
[quote author=lmyrs link=topic=667.msg13623#msg13623
date=1536803428]
... “Harumph. Can’t believe I didn’t get two cards. They’re so
tacky. I’m throwing this in the garbage.” ...
[/quote]
I can't imagine anyone thinking such a thing. Where is that
coming from? ???
[/quote]
From Wanaca in Reply #6
[/quote]
Yes, I'd trash a combo card. I'd have no desire to display it
(I display Christmas cards) so I wouldn't keep it. I don't
expect a Christmas card from anyone so I wouldn't expect two
cards. I'm sorry that you thought that I would expect two
cards.
I don't like the thought behind an efficient combo card so why
would I want a reminder of it sitting around? Of course I
wouldn't throw any card away in front of the sender.
I realize that it is more efficient to combine correspondence.
But "I want to be efficient" isn't always the best thought to
send for personal correspondence.
#Post#: 13708--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: Lilac Date: September 13, 2018, 7:16 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=667.msg13649#msg13649
date=1536847221]
[quote author=Lilac link=topic=667.msg13606#msg13606
date=1536795684]
If the wedding tok place at Thanksgiving, no problem. Any
earlier and they clearly are just trying to kill two birds with
one stone. Tacky.
Thank-you notes are supposed to be social correspondence that a
person actually wants to execute, to maintain and nurture an
ongoing relationship. The note being more important than the
"thankyou" part.
If the sender merely views the forumulaic or rote message as an
obligatory and onerous "receipt" they must issue for a gift I
have given or a kindness I have extended -- then save your time,
keep your stamp and don't bother.
[/quote]
Sending Christmas Cards are not mandatory in my experience. And
since this very likely is the first time that the couple is
sending Holiday Greetings as a couple, there probably isn't the
expectation from a wide number of people that there already
exists a tit for tat exchange of a "I send you a card so you
must send me one". I don't understand the concept that they are
using one card to cover 2 social obligations.
As far as the the message being more important than the thank
you, it appears from the OP that the bride does plan to include
a personal message of appreciation in her cards.
[/quote]
The point is that there is a big lag time between the wedding
and the thank-you note, the excuse being to create a combo
holiday greeting/thank-you.
As I said above, if the wedding took place around Thanksgiving,
fine. Otherwise the wedding thanks should've been in the mail
WAY before the holiday.
If one has time to open a gift, or ash a check, or utilize a
gift card -- one has the five minutes to write out, seal and
stamp a thank-you card.
#Post#: 13730--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thoughts on this TY note
By: Girlie Date: September 14, 2018, 8:07 am
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Honestly, I LOVE Christmas cards. Adore them.
And I sincerely appreciate thank you cards. Truly, truly, do.
These days, I get so few of EITHER, that I'd be grateful for a
combination card, and it would probably be one of the ones I
picked to hang on to year-after-year for decorative purposes.
I also think that this bride is well-intentioned and that good
etiquette would recommend that we try to take this at face value
for what it is - a grateful young woman who is trying to do her
best to properly thank her guests with some nice, festive cards.
Nothing more, nothing less.
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