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#Post#: 13302--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: LifeOnPluto Date: September 8, 2018, 2:58 am
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I'm with the posters who say that if the goal of this
get-together is to meet his friends, 10pm on a Friday night is
an odd time to do it. I think an afternoon BBQ or something
would be much better.
Definitely take your cues from what your son wants, in terms of
food. Speaking personally, if I had been invited over to a
friend's place at the age of 18-21 to hang out at 10pm on a
Friday night, and his mother had made elaborate salads and bowls
of chilli and stews, I would have found it quite weird!
#Post#: 13307--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: Contrarian Date: September 8, 2018, 6:38 am
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I just can’t imagine a meal of ziti, or chilli or anything heavy
at ten o’clock at night.
I know the kids just got off work and usually eat burgers at
that time, but even when you’re in you’re twenties that’s a bad
habit.
Not that I’m suggesting anything of the sort should be conveyed
to the son!
It’s just that’s where the strangeness of the event is with me,
the 10pm bit. If I’m awake at that hour my eyes will be
struggling to stay open. I’m another one that would prefer an
afternoon casual bbq type of thing.
However, Mom21son and her son have planned it that way so it
must work for them. I’d be serving something light like veggie
sticks, cheese and crackers and fruit.
#Post#: 13334--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: Lilac Date: September 8, 2018, 2:05 pm
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We live in a 24/7 world, and many people have schedules and
lifestyles outside the 9-5 world. Perhaps they don't get up
till noon, so to them 10 p.m. is about what 6 p.m. is to a
person who rises at 8 a.m.
I know other people -- and not so young at that -- who go out on
weeknights/worknights at 9 p.m. or later to get-togethers, clubs
and bars. Staying up till 1 or 2 a.m. is normal to them, even
if they have to rise at 7 or so for work or school.
Where I live there are bars that open at 7 a.m. so that
overnight shift workers can pop in for a couple of beers, a
burger and socializing when they get off work.
#Post#: 13337--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: LurkingGurl Date: September 8, 2018, 3:08 pm
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[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=660.msg13302#msg13302
date=1536393508]
I'm with the posters who say that if the goal of this
get-together is to meet his friends, 10pm on a Friday night is
an odd time to do it. I think an afternoon BBQ or something
would be much better.
Definitely take your cues from what your son wants, in terms of
food. Speaking personally, if I had been invited over to a
friend's place at the age of 18-21 to hang out at 10pm on a
Friday night, and his mother had made elaborate salads and bowls
of chilli and stews, I would have found it quite weird!
[/quote]
Her son is the one who suggested it!
And if his friends are also "boys" in the 18-21 group, I don't
know that there is an hour of the day that they wouldn't be
hungry. My son and his friends were like a swarm of locusts.
They could show up at 1 in the morning and strip my fridge in a
matter of minutes--microwaving, making coffee, etc.
I don't know that there is anything "elaborate" about putting
out a pot of chili or stew. And if someone thinks it's weird,
who cares?!!
The thing in the OP that points to her needing to put out
something more substantial than veggies or Cheetos is that they
usually go for burgers. If they are usually hungry for burgers
after work, they are going to want something more than a crudité
platter and a bag of chips.
#Post#: 13341--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: caroled Date: September 8, 2018, 3:55 pm
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I agree with the last 2 posters.
Her son suggested it and is seeking out her help and input, and
that is what she is trying to do. She hasn't asked for people to
tell her how weird they think it would be if they were in a
similar situation, just help planning a menu.
I don't think it would be an odd situation at all... to go to a
coworker/friend's home, and meet some of his family, especially
as they are likely to be there, as they are the homeowners. If I
had a child and they wanted to bring over friends who seemed to
not want to meet or interact with me even on the most basic
level, in my own home, I would find that more odd. Young people
need to learn how to interact in all types of social situations
and this is just a different , more relaxed version of that.
I think a lot of posters have given good suggestions and Mom
has come up with a few herself. I think asking son what he
would / thinks his friend would like is the way to go. I know
when I was younger, my brothers and their friends would descend
on our house like a swarm of locust, and would eat anything that
was available. They loved her cooking, whether it was a huge pot
of spaghetti or a stew or just sandwiches and chips.
She cared about them as people and to this day many many years
later can still tell of certain times they spent with us. One
young man came out to her years before he told anyone because
she was always so kind to him.
Getting to know your children's friends and social circle is not
a bad thing.
#Post#: 13345--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: MOM21SON Date: September 8, 2018, 4:55 pm
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Thank you everyone.
Yes this was DS's idea as well as the time and day. Many times
they don't even go out until 10 or 11.
I have no intention of hanging out. I have the intention of
greeting them and telling them to make themselves at home and
show them to the food.
I asked DS about Ziti and he said, exact words, "I was thinking
of making lasagna." Then he reminded me that he gets off early
of Fridays and will have time to prepare the food for his 10:30
pm guests. Then he asked if he could set up his Xbox in the
living room.
Thanks again!
#Post#: 13348--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: Contrarian Date: September 8, 2018, 5:53 pm
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[quote author=Lilac link=topic=660.msg13334#msg13334
date=1536433534]
We live in a 24/7 world, and many people have schedules and
lifestyles outside the 9-5 world. Perhaps they don't get up
till noon, so to them 10 p.m. is about what 6 p.m. is to a
person who rises at 8 a.m.
I know other people -- and not so young at that -- who go out on
weeknights/worknights at 9 p.m. or later to get-togethers, clubs
and bars. Staying up till 1 or 2 a.m. is normal to them, even
if they have to rise at 7 or so for work or school.
Where I live there are bars that open at 7 a.m. so that
overnight shift workers can pop in for a couple of beers, a
burger and socializing when they get off work.
[/quote]
I am aware that others keep a different schedule.
I used to work nights way back when...but I assumed I was
dealing with a 24 hour household, it’s usually 1 or 2 people.
I’m not sure where I went too far with agreeing an afternoon so
would be better. I regret the silly response.
#Post#: 13360--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: jpcher Date: September 8, 2018, 9:48 pm
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[quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=660.msg13345#msg13345
date=1536443748]
Thank you everyone.
Yes this was DS's idea as well as the time and day. Many times
they don't even go out until 10 or 11.
I have no intention of hanging out. I have the intention of
greeting them and telling them to make themselves at home and
show them to the food.
I asked DS about Ziti and he said, exact words, "I was thinking
of making lasagna." Then he reminded me that he gets off early
of Fridays and will have time to prepare the food for his 10:30
pm guests. Then he asked if he could set up his Xbox in the
living room.
Thanks again!
[/quote]
MOM21SON -- from reading your previous posts about your son it
sounds like you and he have an awesome relationship, much like
me and my DDs. I have no doubt that he brags about you and says
"You gotta meet my mom!" After all, this party was his idea.
That means something to me.
And your son, being who he is, probably has a great set of
friends. Young people that I do encourage you to get to know.
It's not like they're 15 and, when at that age, feel like your
presence will be a policing effort type of thing. It's just
people getting to know people.
Absolutely no need to make yourself scarce. Enjoy the party that
your son is planning and enjoy meeting his friends.
When my DD#1 went to college she sometimes asked if she could
have a party at our house so that I could meet her friends. In
fact, that's how I met her BFsam before they were BF/GF.
I'm hosting a party at the end of October and my DD#2 (24yrs
old) asked me if she could invite some of the friends that she
works with so that I could meet them.
A few weeks ago two friends of my DDs from HS stopped by (DDs
weren't here). It was a surprise, but I invited them in, gave
them hugs and we spent a couple of hours just chatting and
having a good time.
I think it's important to become friends with your children's
friends. I don't remember how long ago it was that you moved to
Texas, but from your OP it sounds like you miss the revolving
door. It sounds like your son misses it as well.
Lasagna! A perfect dish! Include garlic bread and maybe a garden
salad. Make sure you have plenty of drinks (iced tea, soda,
water) and possibly some chips-like snack for during the gaming.
Enjoy! Please keep us posted, let us know how it went. ;D
#Post#: 13425--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: dani321 Date: September 10, 2018, 1:52 pm
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As I was reading through the comments, after the first update
about the baked ziti, I was going to suggest making that, but
double checking with your son first to make sure he thought it
was a good idea, and it looks like that's already been taken
care of. Really I just commented to say that you must be an
awesome mom! Neither I nor my brother would have wanted to do
anything like that at your son's age, and if my mom even
suggested it, we would have looked at her like she had 3 heads
(she's great! We just wouldn't have been into it at all). It
says a lot about you that your 20 year old son 1. wants his
friends to meet and know his mom, and 2. is totally cool with
doing this on a Friday night, when other kids are out partying
etc. I hope you have super stretchy arms because you need to
give yourself a pat on the back for such a great job ;D
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