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#Post#: 13234--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: MOM21SON Date: September 7, 2018, 1:26 am
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[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=660.msg13232#msg13232
date=1536299489]
[quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=660.msg13228#msg13228
date=1536292967]
He is 20. This is just a event to eat and talk like they do
after work most nights. A quick meal and video games. It's
really not like I'm going to be hanging out with them with a pen
and paper.
Also, laugh if you want, but I would like to put a face and name
to these people.
[/quote]
I'm definitely not laughing at you. It's just that I've only
seen parents on Father Knows Best, Ozzie & Harriet & Leave It To
Beaver suggesting "Hey, Steve, why don't you invite all your
college friends over so I can meet them ? I'll provide the
snacks & hang out with all of you." It's been a running joke in
my family for ages (usually involving "Gee, I feel ripped off.
You never made tiny sandwiches for my friends & sang duets with
Ricky Nelson for them") ;D
[/quote]
That is funny! He lives with us and pays a very small rent. He
is saving all his money and it works for us/him. Just those
nights when he is out and about scare me. Were he to come up
missing, I would not have the names of any of his friends. I
realize it seems odd, but since he came up with this "event" I
figure its a go.
#Post#: 13243--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: Hmmm Date: September 7, 2018, 8:59 am
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[quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=660.msg13228#msg13228
date=1536292967]
He is 20. This is just a event to eat and talk like they do
after work most nights. A quick meal and video games. It's
really not like I'm going to be hanging out with them with a pen
and paper.
Also, laugh if you want, but I would like to put a face and name
to these people.
[/quote]
Nope, that I get. I have a 21 year old and a 23 year old. It was
nice just meeting their friends for 5 minutes at college parent
days or other events when we'd go up.
But I also remember being a 23 year old and my Mom being in town
visiting. Friends came over one evening and she was going to
retire to the bedroom but they all encouraged her to stay out in
the living room with us.
#Post#: 13253--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 7, 2018, 10:22 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=660.msg13234#msg13234
date=1536301597]
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=660.msg13232#msg13232
date=1536299489]
[quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=660.msg13228#msg13228
date=1536292967]
He is 20. This is just a event to eat and talk like they do
after work most nights. A quick meal and video games. It's
really not like I'm going to be hanging out with them with a pen
and paper.
Also, laugh if you want, but I would like to put a face and name
to these people.
[/quote]
I'm definitely not laughing at you. It's just that I've only
seen parents on Father Knows Best, Ozzie & Harriet & Leave It To
Beaver suggesting "Hey, Steve, why don't you invite all your
college friends over so I can meet them ? I'll provide the
snacks & hang out with all of you." It's been a running joke in
my family for ages (usually involving "Gee, I feel ripped off.
You never made tiny sandwiches for my friends & sang duets with
Ricky Nelson for them") ;D
[/quote]
That is funny! He lives with us and pays a very small rent. He
is saving all his money and it works for us/him. Just those
nights when he is out and about scare me. Were he to come up
missing, I would not have the names of any of his friends. I
realize it seems odd, but since he came up with this "event" I
figure its a go.
[/quote]
I am older than your son, but I live alone and if something
happened to me, it would be tricky for my out-of-state parents
to know what was going on if I could not call them. In
singledom, your friends serve as your family. My parents have
meet a few of my friends organically through typical gatherings
(not a special meet the parents party), but they do not know
them all nor anyone well (other than the stories that I share.)
What I have done is ask a few close friends if they would be
willing to keep my parents contact details, as well as share
their own. My parents/friends have been very respectable about
not trying to force into each others' lives; the contact details
are mainly for emergency cases. This way if Mom hasn't heard
from me and is growing concerned, she can call/text Sam to see
if he has heard from me. I just wanted to share as I know in my
early twenties I was MUCH more reluctant at having my parents
meet my friends (although maturity has changed that into not a
big deal.)
Otherwise, I have nothing additional to add to the hosting
ideas.
#Post#: 13254--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: Jem Date: September 7, 2018, 10:43 am
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[quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=660.msg13195#msg13195
date=1536272479]
Would you make a meal or a bunch of finger food?
[/quote]
I would stay out of it entirely and let your 20 year old DS make
whatever arrangements he sees fit. I also think it is a bit
awkward if there is an expectation that this is a "let's get to
know DS's mom!" event. If that is actually what you want, I
would not do it on a Friday night at 10:00 p.m.
#Post#: 13260--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: Pattycake Date: September 7, 2018, 11:08 am
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Unless your son has specifically asked you to deal with the
food, I would let him arrange it. I would meet and greet the
friends for maybe half an hour, then go to another room or
another part of the house unless they specifically ask you to
stay. Don't make it a big deal, but make it comfortable for them
to want to come again, whether singly or in groups, and you will
get to know them over time.
#Post#: 13261--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: LurkingGurl Date: September 7, 2018, 11:09 am
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I think a one pot stop of some kind would be best--and just make
it anything you enjoy making!
The thing that I learned about being around my kids' friends is
that I had something to offer myself. I would make my own
ethnic recipe of something and it might be something they had
never tried before!
Since they were hungry, they would take a bowl... and another,
and another. And when I saw them again, if I did, they would
mention that tasty pot of food! My husband would always make
Cincinnati chili.
So, soup, chili, stew. Some bread. And lots of snacky stuff
like popcorn, chips, etc. Maybe some snacky veggies.
#Post#: 13265--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: Bgolly Date: September 7, 2018, 11:55 am
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If I were you I would definitely talk to your son first. I know
my son would not want me serving a big pot of chili with all the
fixings. It might not be "cool". To me that has more of a Boy
Scouts vibe. Plus it would be a shame to make the effort if it
wasn't appreciated. I would also count on saying a nice hello
and then maybe even heading out to the movies or something. It
sounds like you have a great relationship with him!
#Post#: 13266--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: Rose Red Date: September 7, 2018, 12:15 pm
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At that age, I went to friends homes and they came to mine.
Parent were usually around. Maybe not the entire night, but to
eat meals and chatted. Then parents (and sometimes even
grandparents!) went to watch TV (or read or whatever) and we did
our own socializing; sometimes even in the same room since
kitchens and living rooms can run together. Many of us were
grateful for a home cooked meal and tasted food from different
cultures. It was nice and I still keep in touch with some.
So I don't think what the OP is planning is odd. I doubts she'll
hang out and act like "one of the guys" when they start the
video game portion.
That does sound a bit like Father Knows Best, but it was very
casual. It was just life and hanging around, not formal
wholesome sitcom at all.
#Post#: 13291--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: Lilac Date: September 7, 2018, 6:37 pm
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I don't think what the OP is planning is odd, either. But then
multi-generational homes are not unusual in my circles, or at
least were not when I was growing up. I would think young
adults could handle greeting a friend's mom and making some
social chitchat with her for a few minutes at an after-work
gathering.
The baked ziti, with garlic bread and a bagged salad, sounds
great. Easy enough to serve, to heat a serving in the micro for
latecomers, great for leftovers. You could continue the theme
and do a sort of antipasto tray with olives, cured meats,
crudites, breadsticks & butter, etc. -- and neopolitan ice cream
for dessert.
All of the above could be on a kitchen counter/dining table etc.
and for the most part self-serve as people get hungry. A few
bowls of nuts, some soft drinks -- cola is great wih italian
flavors -- and it should be quite the soiree.
Alternatively, I would think pizza, a veggie tray, a plate of
cookies would be fine. Or a baked-potato bar, a taco bar. A
pot of chili and crackers with some carrot sticks. I would
avoid hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries and chips as that is
their usual fare.
#Post#: 13299--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please help me plan a get together for 18-21 year olds.
By: browzer11 Date: September 8, 2018, 12:46 am
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"I would stay out of it entirely and let your 20 year old DS
make whatever arrangements he sees fit. I also think it is a bit
awkward if there is an expectation that this is a "let's get to
know DS's mom!" event. If that is actually what you want, I
would not do it on a Friday night at 10:00 p.m."
Completely agree. This entire thing, (no offense), sounds rather
odd.
There has to be a better way of meeting his close friends.
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