DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Pets
*****************************************************
#Post#: 13155--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: Jem Date: September 6, 2018, 10:53 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Victoria link=topic=657.msg13153#msg13153
date=1536248270]
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=657.msg13148#msg13148
date=1536246404]
I am not allergic to dogs (although yes, my heat reacts for
sure!) I have always avoided using this as a white lie, as I
wonder if it would ever come back to bite me. And really, I
don't need the dog owner to clean more because I am visiting or
feel like they need to lock their pet away. As long as the dog
leaves me alone, I have no "reaction" at all! But I suppose
calling it an allergy (especially in this sort of situation)
would be harmless.
[/quote]
There are varying degrees of "allergic." I actually am allergic
to dogs, but I'm okay as long as they're not sitting in my lap
and I'm not around them in a contained environment for a long
period of time. Emphasizing my allergy has kept me away from
quite a few dogs who would otherwise get up in my face, and from
owners who would otherwise be inclined to push me to play with
their dogs. For the one or two people who have accusingly said
"I thought you were allergic," when a dog's in the room, I've
explained that I don't have a violent reaction but would feel
unwell after awhile.
[/quote]
This. I am allergic to pet dander, but the way it manifests
differs depending on the pet and how the pet is groomed. There
are some animals (hypoallergenic, I guess?) that I don't seem to
have any issues with (this includes my sister's microdoodle and
hairless cats). There are some dogs that it takes a while for me
to experience an allergic reaction (generally short haired dogs,
which are well groomed - like boxers or pitbulls). I tend to
experience allergies when I am around non-hypoallergenic cats,
but the timeframe differs depending on the length of the cat
hair and the cleanliness of the cat. Labs, retrievers, and other
long haired dogs are not my friends. I am more afraid of large
long haired dogs like Golden Retrievers that are generally
considered to be friendly but not carefully leashed than I am of
Rotweillers or Pitbulls whose owners clearly have control of
them. Great Danes don't generally scare me, nor do I appear to
be intensely allergic to them. This is just to illustrate that
it has really not much to do with the size or actually ferocity
of the animal - I am both allergic to and afraid of dogs and I
prefer to not have to interact with them.
I have found that I cannot visit the homes of people who have
multiple long-haired dogs for longer than a few minutes because
the aggregate dander causes my eyes to become inflamed and my
throat to close within minutes. I have had severe allergic
reactions just being in a home where a long-haired cat lives -
even when the cat is on an entirely different floor of the house
that I am. I have had allergic reactions to my daughter's
clothing after she has played with a long-haired cat and come
home.
I'm not a huge "I have allergies!!!!!" person, but I do make it
a point to not place myself in positions where I would have to
be.
#Post#: 13158--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 6, 2018, 11:08 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Amara link=topic=657.msg13150#msg13150
date=1536248203]
I don't see why you shouldn't be honest: "I am afraid of all
dogs. I'm sure she's a love but I have a lifelong fear of them."
Excuses are not necessary; just tell the truth.
[/quote]
I suppose there is nothing wrong with this; it is just that in
my experience it has not worked. I typically get a response of,
"But my dog is speeeeeecial. He won't harm you." And then they
will instruct the animal to come closer to me and sit down, as
they are rubbing his belly and saying, "Who's a good boy?!?" And
sometimes I become the owner's new mission in life and every
time I am around the person and dog I am treated to a show that
is meant to prove that I was wrong, because I could not
possibility be afraid of their super special amazing dog. So I
started avoiding being upfront as it has preventing me from
having this further treatment. Although maybe Jem's follow-up
comments might help.
Thank you everyone for the information about dog allergies. I
did not realize that they could be so varied. I really do feel
unwell when around dogs.
#Post#: 13160--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: Contrarian Date: September 6, 2018, 11:47 am
---------------------------------------------------------
My dog is afraid of all other dogs. There are so many dogs in
my neighbourhood that I sometimes have to walk down the street
instead of the sidewalk to avoid passing dogs on either side.
Many other dog owners have asked me to let the dogs say hello,
and I have said “no, she’s afraid of dogs” and they’ll say but
my dog is friendly and I’ll say “she’s afraid of all dogs”.
And that generally works.
I do think you should be honest. Just because they should
bloody well learn to respect a persons fears or they’re just not
good dog owners.
Most normal dog owners don’t need or even want everyone else to
love their dogs. Just say you’re afraid and let one “but my dog
is lovely” get by before saying “I’m sure Blue is wonderful, but
that’s never stopped me being afraid. I prefer to not interact
with dogs at all. Or something like that. If they go further
“I’m sorry you won’t be able to respect my boundaries, I’m going
to go have a cup of tea, see you later.”
Do you really want to hang out in the street with them if they
keep pushing their dogs on you?
Having said that, it doesn’t sound like there was any resistance
after you clearly didn’t want to interact with the dog and the
woman took it away, so I feel like that interaction was ok. But
it’s never about their dog so the easiest thing is to confirm
“I’m scared of dogs”. “But my dog...”. “No, all dogs”.....”But
she’s”...”. “I’m honestly afraid of all dogs.
In fairness there are people that are afraid of most dogs but do
get used to a few of them.
#Post#: 13166--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 6, 2018, 1:05 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Contrarian link=topic=657.msg13160#msg13160
date=1536252421]
Do you really want to hang out in the street with them if they
keep pushing their dogs on you?[/quote]
To answer your question, only one of the three women in this
group own a dog. (In fact, I think out of the ten houses in our
little block that this is the only dog.) She has never pushed
the dog on me before or maybe this was the first time that I
caught on that she wanted me to pet her dog. Had the dog been
with the group, I probably would have just waved a hello and
went in. But the dog was tied up away from the group, so I felt
safe.
I typically do not hang with these neighbors, which has caused
some strangeness to occur (however, I believe that I talked
about that in the old forum.) It has been made clear to me that
the neighbors all talk and hang out together and that they are
disappointed that I do not join them. It's more of a matter that
I am rarely home with free time than me purposefully avoiding
them. I don't really desire to have the close relationship that
they all seem to have, but in the name of keeping positive
neighborly relations, I have decided to make a smidge more
effort to be social, which was why I even walked over to say
hello.
Anyways, this issue is less about the neighbors and more about
handling dog owners who seem to want me to interact with their
pet.
I do find it interesting that your poor dog has the same problem
that I do!
And I agree, there are people who are fearful of dogs, but learn
to get along with certain ones. There are a few dogs that I have
learned to tolerate better than others. But I have never
understood the concept of people pushing their dog as the
special one that I will like... but I guess I am just not an
animal person and don't know.
#Post#: 13190--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: Anastasia Beaverhausen Date: September 6, 2018, 5:16 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Wow. I just don't get people who push their animals on others.
If someone were fearful of dogs I would never let my dog near
them. Not only because it's rude but also because someone who
has an intense fear could hurt the dog. What is with people??
#Post#: 13221--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: Rho Date: September 6, 2018, 9:08 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
“but my dog is lovely” I, not the most tactful person, would
respond- " but I am not so keep him away from me"
what Anastasia Beaverhausen said
#Post#: 13226--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: Ida Date: September 6, 2018, 10:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Maybe use a variation of the old breakup line: "It's not
him/her/it/x, it's me."
#Post#: 13235--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: holly firestorm Date: September 7, 2018, 2:35 am
---------------------------------------------------------
This is part of the reason I really hate it when people bring
their non-service dogs into stores, especially supermarkets and
restaurants. A service dog will behave and mind its own
business unless its owner's safety is at stake. These fake
service dogs just don't behave that way. I keep on thinking of
people like you, people who are allergic, and the obvious health
and safety issues, of course.
I like dogs. But, really, what makes them think it's acceptable
to force their precious little fluffy boo boo babykins in
everyone else's face...whether it's a casual get together on the
front porch or in some store or restaurant?
#Post#: 13241--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: Rose Red Date: September 7, 2018, 8:28 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=657.msg13158#msg13158
date=1536250132]
[quote author=Amara link=topic=657.msg13150#msg13150
date=1536248203]
I don't see why you shouldn't be honest: "I am afraid of all
dogs. I'm sure she's a love but I have a lifelong fear of them."
Excuses are not necessary; just tell the truth.
[/quote]
I suppose there is nothing wrong with this; it is just that in
my experience it has not worked. I typically get a response of,
"But my dog is speeeeeecial. He won't harm you." And then they
will instruct the animal to come closer to me and sit down, as
they are rubbing his belly and saying, "Who's a good boy?!?" And
sometimes I become the owner's new mission in life and every
time I am around the person and dog I am treated to a show that
is meant to prove that I was wrong, because I could not
possibility be afraid of their super special amazing dog. So I
started avoiding being upfront as it has preventing me from
having this further treatment. Although maybe Jem's follow-up
comments might help.
[/quote]
This. Everyone seems to think their pet is special and I should
automatically stop my "silly" fear for their pet.
There's noting wrong with a little white lie. It's not like
forcing a restaurant to scrub and sanitize their kitchen with a
lie about food allergy. In case of pets, they just need to let
me keep my distance/personal space and not shove their pets in
my face.
#Post#: 13248--------------------------------------------------
Re: Say Hello To My Dog
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 7, 2018, 9:55 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=holly firestorm link=topic=657.msg13235#msg13235
date=1536305753]
This is part of the reason I really hate it when people bring
their non-service dogs into stores, especially supermarkets and
restaurants. A service dog will behave and mind its own
business unless its owner's safety is at stake. These fake
service dogs just don't behave that way. I keep on thinking of
people like you, people who are allergic, and the obvious health
and safety issues, of course.
I like dogs. But, really, what makes them think it's acceptable
to force their precious little fluffy boo boo babykins in
everyone else's face...whether it's a casual get together on the
front porch or in some store or restaurant?
[/quote]
I realize that as the OP, I am obviously NOT a dog person. But I
have always felt that there is a time and place to bring your
pet. I would not go to the dog park and be upset that Rin Tin
Tin is running around. Heck, I know of a few privately owned
shops that have made it clear that they are dog friendly...
which may mean that they are not DDP friendly, but that is ok,
too. But I do see places that are not pet friendly and the
owners are dragging their misbehaved pup along. I also feel bad
for the pet... I don't think he wants to be there either!
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page