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#Post#: 12835--------------------------------------------------
S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: JessTer Date: September 1, 2018, 3:47 pm
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This Dear Abby is a few years old, but the "When Can You
Consider Yourself Invited' thread kind of reminded me of it.
HTML https://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2001/2/3/verbal-wedding-invitation-requires-follow-through
The twist is that in this case, there was no bad blood or
falling-out directly between the OP/bride and the person she
verbally invited. That person was a co-worker, and then,
suddenly, soon after the verbal invitation...wasn't a co-worker
anymore.
#Post#: 12839--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: GardenGal Date: September 1, 2018, 4:27 pm
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I think DA was correct that the bride needs to formally invite
her former co-worker, since she already verbally invited her.
I'm surprised that DA didn't add that it was rude of the bride
to ignore several phone calls from the former co-worker.
#Post#: 12842--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: gramma dishes Date: September 1, 2018, 4:42 pm
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Yes, it really does seem like she's wishing she hadn't invited
that coworker. It is an awkward situation for both the bride
and the coworker, and could become even more uncomfortable if
all of them show up at the wedding.
#Post#: 12863--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: Aleko Date: September 2, 2018, 2:15 am
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My browser says when I click on the link "This site can’t be
reached". Can OP cut-and-paste or precis the story, in case
that's not just me?
#Post#: 12872--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: gramma dishes Date: September 2, 2018, 8:43 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=644.msg12863#msg12863
date=1535872559]
My browser says when I click on the link "This site can’t be
reached". Can OP cut-and-paste or precis the story, in case
that's not just me?
[/quote]
Here's cut and paste, but I'm not sure this is technically
legal. If it isn't, can someone delete this?
DEAR ABBY: I am getting married in three months. A month ago, I
verbally invited one of my co-workers, "Sandy," and asked her
for her home address to send the invitation. Unfortunately,
Sandy was "let go" last week under difficult circumstances. She
was very upset.
I haven't spoken to Sandy since the day she left, but she's left
me several voice-mail messages, which I have not returned.
I plan to send wedding invitations out soon to all of my
co-workers, but under the circumstances, I don't know whether I
should officially invite Sandy. I don't want her to feel
uncomfortable. Your thoughts, please. -- WONDERING IN CALIFORNIA
#Post#: 12882--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: Lula Date: September 2, 2018, 2:56 pm
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For me, it depends on the reasons for and circumstances
surrounding Sandy's being "let go." Did she do something shady?
Was she abusive toward coworkers, particularly those who will
be attending the wedding?
#Post#: 12888--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: lakey Date: September 2, 2018, 4:51 pm
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OP, if you think you shouldn't invite her because she'll feel
embarrassed or uncomfortable around the co-workers because of
her losing her job, I would invite her. Then it is up to her
whether to attend or not.
On the other hand, if you don't want to invite her because she
victimized a co-worker, or her behavior at work was such that
she might cause trouble at your wedding, I wouldn't invite her.
#Post#: 12915--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: Aleko Date: September 3, 2018, 6:39 am
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I'm with Lakey. If the 'difficult circumstances' were not her
fault, she should be invited (or rather her verbal invitation
should be confirmed by sending the written one), perhaps with a
rider that 'I'll totally understand if you don't want to come
because you feel it would be awkward to meet the rest of the
office there'. If they were, she should be sent a letter saying
'After all that has happened, given that all the rest of the
office will be there I think it would cause embarrassment all
round for you to come. I do regret this but I'm sure it's for
the best.' What is not acceptable is to leave her in limbo
wondering whether she is still invited or not.
#Post#: 12924--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: Rose Red Date: September 3, 2018, 9:38 am
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It's a shame we never know what happens next. There are many
Dear Abby letters that I wish have follow up.
#Post#: 13329--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "When Can You Consider Yourself Invited'
By: JessTer Date: September 8, 2018, 1:35 pm
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I'm glad everyone seems interested in the dilemma and "what
happens next," because the letter is pretty old now - but it did
seem relevant.
I agree with the people who think the circumstances of and
reasons for Sandy being "let go" matter - and there might be
some circumstances in which a former co-worker's behavior, which
got them "let go" might be cause for justifying not sending the
official invite.
I'm sorry about the link issue - but the link works for me.
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