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#Post#: 12787--------------------------------------------------
When a family member has poor hygiene. Update reply #13
By: EddiesMom15 Date: August 31, 2018, 12:36 pm
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I recently traveled to visit family members that we don't see
often, and took some of them out to dinner. One of the family
members smelled very strongly of poop, which made dinner a
challenge.
This individual is of legal age, not elderly, and lives with
another family member who was also present. No one but the
other family member who was hosting dinner and I seemed to
notice the odor. Eventually, the other hosting family member
and I made our excuses and left. We remarked on the odor, and
other hosting family member remarked that this individual had
extremely strong body odor and smelled of feces the last time
they had all been together.
I don't see this person often. Should I just keep my mouth
shut?
#Post#: 12789--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member has poor hygiene.
By: Rose Red Date: August 31, 2018, 1:26 pm
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[quote author=EddiesMom15 link=topic=642.msg12787#msg12787
date=1535737015]
I don't see this person often. Should I just keep my mouth
shut?
[/quote]
How rarely do you see this person? Is this person an independent
adult not relying on a caretaker? If so and if you only see them
once or twice a year, I'd let it go since you don't know the
reason for the odor or if others have already spoken to them.
#Post#: 12792--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member has poor hygiene.
By: Jem Date: August 31, 2018, 1:37 pm
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I think I would not borrow trouble by saying something to this
person, but I also would not socialize with this person in the
future. The only caveat would be if you think this person needs
some sort of psychological or physical intervention, but still,
it seems there are others closer to this person and the
situation who would be better able to make that call.
#Post#: 12793--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member has poor hygiene.
By: EddiesMom15 Date: August 31, 2018, 1:44 pm
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This individual is an independent young adult capable of
self-care, having no physical or mental limitations which I am
aware of that prevent taking a bath/shower.
I have not seen this person in years, and have no plans to see
them in the future. They live quite some distance from me.
#Post#: 12796--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member has poor hygiene.
By: viviennebzb Date: August 31, 2018, 2:06 pm
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I wouldn't say anything. Some people just have different
standards and preferences. I remember a similar individual once
being asked (not by me!) about the possibility of bathing, and
their reply was "Why? I'll just get dirty again." Just didn't
phase them.
#Post#: 12800--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member has poor hygiene.
By: GardenGal Date: August 31, 2018, 3:12 pm
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Given your update, I'd let it go.
#Post#: 12804--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member has poor hygiene.
By: Rose Red Date: August 31, 2018, 3:49 pm
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If you have no plans to see them in the future, don't say
anything. You don't really know what's going on.
#Post#: 12843--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member has poor hygiene.
By: Sycorax Date: September 1, 2018, 4:55 pm
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If it was someone you were really close to, I'd tell you to go
ahead and say something, but then you'd probably also know why
they smelled that way. (health issue, working in a horse barn,
etc)
Since you're not close to them, I wouldn't say anything, and I'd
avoid any future activity where you might have to be too close
to them.
#Post#: 12875--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member has poor hygiene.
By: SnappyLT Date: September 2, 2018, 11:35 am
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Given all of the circumstances mentioned in the original post
and the follow-ups from the OP, I agree. I would not have said
anything.
However, just for the sake of discussion - if one did think it
important to say something, what in the world could one possibly
say?
#Post#: 12876--------------------------------------------------
Re: When a family member has poor hygiene.
By: EddiesMom15 Date: September 2, 2018, 11:51 am
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[quote author=SnappyLT link=topic=642.msg12875#msg12875
date=1535906118]
Given all of the circumstances mentioned in the original post
and the follow-ups from the OP, I agree. I would not have said
anything.
However, just for the sake of discussion - if one did think it
important to say something, what in the world could one possibly
say?
[/quote]
Thanks for all the advice. I agree, since there is little
contact with this individual the subject will be dropped for
now. However, things don't always go as we plan.
I had thought about approaching the family member this
individual lives with to ask if they had noticed the odor, but
that's bad too. "Oh, I don't now how to tell Soandso they smell
bad, so I'll tell someone else!"
There's no kind or gracious way I can imagine to tell someone
they smell like poop. However, what does one do when the
individual complains of their inability to find a job?
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