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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 12431--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: guest725
Date: August 27, 2018, 4:06 pm
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I know you meant "Santa" was you. I was following your lead by
using the quotes. :)
I live alone and have for most of my life. Some Christmas
mornings I wake up alone, others I don't and there was a gift
for me, perhaps not under the tree. Anyway, one year my mom sent
a gift and I opened it, by myself, on Christmas morning among
decorations I had put up weeks before. Suddenly I felt very
depressed; for me it wasn't supposed to be that way.
Moral of the story, to each their own.
#Post#: 12455--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: AnnaT
Date: August 27, 2018, 7:58 pm
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Re using the drink package to get other people drinks - this is
why on Royal C you can no longer purchase an alcohol package
unless everyone over the age of 18 (in the same room) buys one
as well...
I'm pretty sure that's happening on a lot of the other cruise
lines as well.
It's not courtesy, it's theft.
#Post#: 12481--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: gmatoy
Date: August 27, 2018, 10:57 pm
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My sister-in-law told us that there was a woman in their
community who would go to the big fund-raiser bazaar (that SIL's
mother was a part of) and would buy grab bags to put under her
tree, so there would be something that was a surprise. SIL's
mother was so touched by that she started making sure that the
gifts were really nice ones. And she would put tags on them to
show that it was scented, because she had heard that my
allergies would mean a scented gift would be a disaster.
That last part was told to me and it touched me that her mother
would use my story to try to help someone with allergies.
#Post#: 12482--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: August 27, 2018, 11:11 pm
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With the added information, Dad sounds like a needler - just
incessant picking to try to get a reaction. The key is not to
give a reaction - any sign of irritation or upset pays them off.
My dad's a needler and I do a "content / process" response. I
don't respond to the content and change the subject, move to
another room, ignore him, etc.
Once in a while I address the process, "Your incessant needling
is too much and not appreciated. Please stop." If I do the
process comment in a way that sounds irritated or say or imply
that it upsets me, that can reinforce the needling as well. So,
I don't say that often and just deal with the needling by
showing no reaction. Whenever possible, walking off, calmly, is
the best response. It can, over time, reduce the behavior.
#Post#: 12492--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: guest24
Date: August 28, 2018, 3:55 am
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Please forgive my ignorance!! I am unfamiliar with cruise "
stuff ". I assumed that items were limited and if Person A
wanted to share her 1 dozen bottles with others in her group,
then that is for her to decide. I agree, unlimited drinks all
round would be ripping off the cruise line.I looked up P&O
Cruises. ;)
#Post#: 12494--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: Aleko
Date: August 28, 2018, 4:28 am
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NyaChan, with hindsight (which we all know is a wonderful thing)
after your father mooched your soda you might have simply called
the waiter and said you wanted to buy a soda for your father,
and could he please put it on your bill? Then when the paid-for
soda came, you could legitimately drink it yourself.
As you describe him as generous to all his children, your dad
would surely have protested that he didn't want you to spend
money on him and only drank yours because it "was free". And you
could reply with some variation of, 'Dad, I'm always happy to
buy you a soda or whatever else you might want. But I am not
cool with cheating the cruise company, even if you are.' I think
it's important to call it cheating, which it 100% is, and make
that hard word the sticking-point, not the fact that you might
get into trouble - that's very true but it sounds wimpy and
allowed your family to mock. Then if your family want to
disagree with you they have to either argue that it 'isn't
really cheating' or that 'trivial cheating doesn't matter',
which is a much harder thing to do, and would sound a lot less
cool even in their own ears.
#Post#: 12498--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: August 28, 2018, 8:19 am
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--- Quote from: puppylove link ---
>
> I know you meant "Santa" was you. I was following your lead by
using the quotes. :)
>
> I live alone and have for most of my life. Some Christmas
mornings I wake up alone, others I don't and there was a gift
for me, perhaps not under the tree. Anyway, one year my mom sent
a gift and I opened it, by myself, on Christmas morning among
decorations I had put up weeks before. Suddenly I felt very
depressed; for me it wasn't supposed to be that way.
>
>
> Moral of the story, to each their own.
>
--- End Quote ---
I can be such a flake! ::) I thought it was strange that
someone didn't get the "Santa" comment... and here it was me!!!
(Please let the floor swallow me up!!!)
No one talks about this living alone thing; at least, I have no
example in my life to look up to. So, I appreciate you sharing
your feelings! I find myself carving my own path, especially
when it comes to holidays. Some of them, have easily fallen into
place. (I love decorating the house for Halloween and handing
out candy to the neighborhood children. Maybe this year I will
be the witch on the block!!!) And others I am still trying to
work through. (Waking up on Christmas as if it is any other day
does depress me, so I am trying to come up with a personal
tradition fills that void.) But you are right, we each need to
figure out what is right for us... whether that is for one, two,
or hundreds.
I am sorry for hijacking with my flakiness! I have provided my
best thoughts on how to proceed forward concerning Dad and I
know that many others will give great advice!
#Post#: 12531--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: August 28, 2018, 11:14 am
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--- Quote from: Maude link ---
>
> Please forgive my ignorance!! I am unfamiliar with cruise "
stuff ". I assumed that items were limited and if Person A
wanted to share her 1 dozen bottles with others in her group,
then that is for her to decide. I agree, unlimited drinks all
round would be ripping off the cruise line.I looked up P&O
Cruises. ;)
>
--- End Quote ---
It probably depends on the type of cruise as to what you get for
free! Here's an example of a cruise soda package - $5/day,
which I'm sure is a lot cheaper than buying a few individual
sodas every day.
HTML https://help.carnival.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/3836/~/bottomless-bubbles-%28unlimited-soda-program%29
#Post#: 12534--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: Aleko
Date: August 28, 2018, 11:45 am
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Packages vary a lot. This British line offers drinks packages
that give you unlimited drinks in the bars and restaurants.
HTML https://www.cruiseandmaritime.com/on-board-experience/cmv-additions-packages
As you can see, they require everyone sharing a cabin to have
the same package, which must be annoying for couples of whom
only one drinks, but is obviously the only way to prevent people
stiffing them.
#Post#: 12544--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: caroled
Date: August 28, 2018, 1:23 pm
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--- Quote from: Aleko link ---
>
> Packages vary a lot. This British line offers drinks packages
that give you unlimited drinks in the bars and restaurants.
>
HTML https://www.cruiseandmaritime.com/on-board-experience/cmv-additions-packages
> As you can see, they require everyone sharing a cabin to have
the same package, which must be annoying for couples of whom
only one drinks, but is obviously the only way to prevent people
stiffing them.
>
--- End Quote ---
This link carries me to their main page and once there, I search
and search and still can't find the info we are discussing.
Where do I need to look because I am interested.
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