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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 12267--------------------------------------------------
Being the Square
DIR By: NyaChan
Date: August 26, 2018, 1:31 pm
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I recently went on a cruise with my parents and sibling. I
purchased a soda package for the cruise and my family did not.
I told them about it and other drink options during planning and
my dad very dismissively insisted that he is happy with just
water and a coffee at breakfast and what a waste of money it
was. During the cruise however, Dad - who does in fact enjoy
having a soda each day - wanted “a sip” or to “finish off” my
beverages. The first time he asked as he grabbed the glass and
I couldn’t stop him in time. Not wanting a fight, I let it go.
The next time I had just gotten a full glass and I said no, I’m
not supposed to share and that if it was noticed, the cruise
line could cancel my package. Cue mocking and laughter from
sibling and Dad. Things like: “Oh yeah, better watch out. The
cruise police is going to come in and take you down!” Luckily,
the two of them left the table as they did it and I didn’t have
to figure out what to say. But I’m somewhat at a loss - what
does one say in response to that? They made me feel so stupid
and silly, but I really don’t like breaking rules. It makes me
uncomfortable and stressed out.
Note: My parents and sibling get along very well with each other
but not so much with me. When we have different opinions, it
isn’t seen as adults not having the same view of things. It is
“NyaChan is weird/disrespectful/stubborn” so they are unlikely
to take anything I say seriously.
#Post#: 12268--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: Amethyst Anne
Date: August 26, 2018, 1:41 pm
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what a cheapskate! Reminds me also of the phrase “what is mine
is mine, and what is yours is mine,”
#Post#: 12273--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: August 26, 2018, 2:52 pm
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I guess you could always say something like "I wasn't raised to
break the rules, and it makes me uncomfortable when you make a
joke about doing so. Please respect my wishes and don't make fun
of them."
#Post#: 12279--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: guest657
Date: August 26, 2018, 4:49 pm
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I'm sorry you feel you have to spend time with such obnoxious
people.
You can refuse perfectly politely without being apologetic about
it. And since nothing you say is likely to change these boors'
opinion or behavior, you might as well be direct.
"No, if you want some soda you can buy your own. The purser (or
whoever) is right over there."
This is not a rude statement, as long as it's said in a pleasant
tone.
You can't persuade a mooch to stop mooching by asking nicely.
You have to just cut them off. And don't get drawn into an
argument about the fact that they had the chance earlier, he
said he only wanted coffee, but it's only a sip, or whatever.
He didn't buy the soda option because he planned all along to
mooch off you, and he will be mad that you won't let him. This
has nothing to do with rules or the "soda police," or whatever.
If he thought it was perfectly fine to buy one package and
share, why didn't he buy it to share with everyone else? If he
were offering you his soda, then your ethics about taking what
wasn't paid for would be the issue.
But no. He would rather spend your money than his own. He's not
taking advantage of the cruise line. He's taking advantage of
**you.**
If your family throw tantrums when told no, which is what it
sounds like, walk away and find someone more pleasant to talk
to. The nice thing about cruises is that they encourage mingling
and meeting new people.
#Post#: 12282--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: Luci
Date: August 26, 2018, 5:08 pm
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Knowing me, I would have either said, "Exactly!" or "That's
riiiiiiiiiiiiight!"
You were right in not cooperating with the mooching.
#Post#: 12316--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: HenrysMom
Date: August 26, 2018, 11:16 pm
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When your father grabbed your glass, I would’ve ratted him out
to the purser.
#Post#: 12317--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: Amanita
Date: August 27, 2018, 1:43 am
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Sounds like your dad and sibling either have little respect for
you, or don't care about the consequences of their behavior, at
least not how their behavior affects you. That just sucks :(
Good for you for standing up for yourself and not giving in to
them. I wouldn't call you a square, I'd call your relatives a
pair of boors. They had the option to buy their own drink
package, and probably could have bought one while on the cruise
if they wanted soda so badly, or at least paid for individual
drinks. Instead they chose to try to mooch off of you, even
after being told that if found out, there could be consequences.
#Post#: 12323--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: guest24
Date: August 27, 2018, 4:18 am
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If I had bought such a package, it would have been with every
intention of sharing with the others. Just a thoughtful gesture.
#Post#: 12324--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: Lkdrymom
Date: August 27, 2018, 5:21 am
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--- Quote from: Maude link ---
>
> If I had bought such a package, it would have been with every
intention of sharing with the others. Just a thoughtful gesture.
>
--- End Quote ---
That is the point YOU CAN'T SHARE the package. If you go to
the buffet do you just buy one plate and have everyone eat off
of it? On top of this OP was made fun of for buying the package
int he first place then the person who made fun of her wanted t
use it. How do you justify that?
#Post#: 12325--------------------------------------------------
Re: Being the Square
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: August 27, 2018, 5:56 am
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I'd have simply said: "Dad, why are you being a mooch?"
--- Quote from: Maude link ---
>
> If I had bought such a package, it would have been with every
intention of sharing with the others. Just a thoughtful gesture.
>
--- End Quote ---
And if the cruise staff had caught you 'sharing' and cancelled
your package, would you have been okay with that? Would your
family have gladly compensated you for the drinks you didn't get
to enjoy?
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