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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 12245--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dining Out with Out-of-Town Visitors
DIR By: jpcher
Date: August 26, 2018, 4:59 am
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--- Quote from: LifeOnPluto link ---
>
> So I totally get it's a headache if your out-of-town friends
expect you to magically find a place/time that suits a dozen
people. If that's the case, it's perfectly ok to say that you're
happy to suggest a restaurant and a date/time, but you don't
want to take on the responsibility of ensuring that everyone in
the friendship group can make it.
>
--- End Quote ---
I think that's the answer. Simply choose a firm place/time/date,
send the invitations with an RSVP request and be done. Those
that are truly interested in seeing the visiting couple will
either show up or, hopefully, contact the visiting couple and
make their own arrangements to see them at a different time.
Think of it like you're hosting a party.* Whenever I throw a
party I pick the date/time that works best for me. Sometimes
I'll contact a few key people (in your case it would be the
visiting couple only) and ask if this date works for them and
maybe make an adjustment before sending out the invites.
It doesn't have to be a headache.
*Not that you're going to actually host (pay) for the gathering
but you know what I mean. ;)
#Post#: 12253--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dining Out with Out-of-Town Visitors
DIR By: TaurusGirl
Date: August 26, 2018, 9:00 am
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When The Hawk (DH) and I lived in Small Northern Community and
were coming back to Hometown for a visit, we took responsibility
for arranging our own meals. Granted, it was a blast email that
said "we will be at This Restaurant on *date*, please come out
if you can!", but we wouldn't have expected any one of our
family or friends to do the legwork for us.
In your position I'd be happy to recommend a place or two, but
as for the rest... that would be on the travellers.
#Post#: 12272--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dining Out with Out-of-Town Visitors
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: August 26, 2018, 2:50 pm
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--- Quote from: TaurusGirl link ---
>
> When The Hawk (DH) and I lived in Small Northern Community and
were coming back to Hometown for a visit, we took responsibility
for arranging our own meals. Granted, it was a blast email that
said "we will be at This Restaurant on *date*, please come out
if you can!", but we wouldn't have expected any one of our
family or friends to do the legwork for us.
> In your position I'd be happy to recommend a place or two, but
as for the rest... that would be on the travellers.
>
--- End Quote ---
I like this, but did you expect people to notify you in advance
if they were coming so you'd know how large a table to ask for
at the restaurant? If they didn't notify you and 6 people just
showed up, that could be awkward, especially if the restaurant
was full and you couldn't move to a larger table.
#Post#: 12278--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dining Out with Out-of-Town Visitors
DIR By: TaurusGirl
Date: August 26, 2018, 4:25 pm
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We would get a rough idea of attendees, and we would reserve a
large room or group of tables. We were lucky It worked out,
people sort of came and went as their schedules allowed.
#Post#: 12294--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dining Out with Out-of-Town Visitors
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: August 26, 2018, 7:23 pm
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--- Quote from: CamelliaHouse link ---
>
> [quote author=Hmmm link=topic=626.msg12154#msg12154
date=1535138711]
> snipe
>
--- End Quote ---
Can you clarify? The first paragraph implies the dinners are
them and you and your spouse/family. The second paragraph
implies they are expecting you to arrange get togethers with
other couples/families.
As a foodie, I recognize that not all of my friends are
interested in spending significant money or in branching out
culinarily. If I'm visiting from out of town, I will often send
a suggestion like the first email to allow the person to state
their preferences. I'm basically saying I'm more interested in
spending time with you than indulging my culinary interests so
give me your availability and preference and I'll make it work.
However, if the email is really saying they'll be in town these
days and they want you to find times with 3 other couples and
find a restaurant acceptable to all for a party of 10, then no,
I would not accept that responsibility.
I'm wondering if it is the first option, your main concern is
that your suggestion of a place is not going to live up to their
expectations. If that is your concern, then go to Eater.com in
for your local city, review the list of what is the "where to
eat now" list and pick 3 places acceptable to you and then send
a note to friend with "I haven't tried any of these places but
they are getting a lot of press. Let me know if next Saturday
works and which place you prefer."
[/quote]
Yes, the out-of-towners have contacted the group of friends who
still live here (several couples and other friends) and asked
the locals to organize everything on behalf of the
out-of-towners. I strongly feel that if you're initiating the
invitation, you should step up and organize everything from A to
Z.
[/quote]
Did they ask you specifically or was it a general email to
everyone in the group? If asking you specifically, then I'd go
with saying that you don't have availability to organize but
here are some suggested places.
If an email to your entire group, I'd see that as a jumping off
point for the locals to reply back with locations and
availability and having it eventually identify a date that works
for most and everyone agreeing on a location.
It's hard when you are visiting from out of town to arrange
things for a large group. I'd cut my friends some slack.
#Post#: 12329--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dining Out with Out-of-Town Visitors
DIR By: Bada
Date: August 27, 2018, 7:33 am
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Huh. When we make plans to go home, I contact my friends months
in advance and ask them to save a particular date to get
together. I have two different friends/groups of friends that
live close to each other and I want to make sure I can see them
both on the same day. My schedule is always too planned out for
someone else to pick the day we're getting together.
I like the suggestion of throwing out 2 days and 2 or 3
restaurants that you've been to and like. That makes it clear
you're not taking the lead but solves the worry about the
non-locals worrying about picking someplace that has gone
downhill (though it doesn't solve the problem of food-snobs
wishing you'd picked a super highly place you've never been to
since you're not a food snob).
#Post#: 12384--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dining Out with Out-of-Town Visitors
DIR By: bopper
Date: August 27, 2018, 1:24 pm
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I think you have to balance the effort it takes them to visit
you vs. your effort to make plans.
What don't you like about making the reservations?
Is it calling? You could use something like OpenTable to do it
online.
Is it the scheduling? Then say "let me know what date/time is
good and I will pick a restaurant"
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