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#Post#: 15804--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Rose Red Date: October 10, 2018, 10:38 am
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If her family has this kind of family reunions before and her
family is willing, there shouldn't be a problem having a casual
bbq wedding reception. But that's a family catered wedding; not
a potluck.
Not all families are the same. What if the groom's family and
other guests are not used to this or can't travel with food? I
can see myself bringing bags of chips since I haven't made
acquaintance with my kitchen ;) :D
#Post#: 15819--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: lakey Date: October 10, 2018, 1:11 pm
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[quote]You you talking about the wedding described in the
article? Because that didn't sound like what I would describe as
a small wedding. The author stated she would have 47 people if
she just invited aunts, uncles and first cousins without even
adding in her fiance's family and their friends. And later said
that she wanted to be able to include everyone from the nooks
and crannies of her life. So I'm thinking well over 100 people.
But maybe I've lost track and the topic is now on a different
wedding.
[/quote]
I hadn't realized it was that many. Even if the groom's family
is smaller than hers, then she adds "everyone from the nooks and
crannies", that's probably around a hundred people. Preparing
food for that many people, even if you make it yourself, is
expensive, a lot of work, and difficult to store safely. It's
one thing to make cheesy potatoes or pasta salad for 20. Making
it for 100 in a non-professional kitchen is very different. I
think that the bride who thought this up isn't thinking about
all the problems involved. Maybe she should do a dry run of
trying to prepare ribs for 75 to 100 people, and see what it
entails.
#Post#: 15821--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: camlan Date: October 10, 2018, 1:31 pm
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[quote author=lakey link=topic=623.msg15819#msg15819
date=1539195075]
[quote]You you talking about the wedding described in the
article? Because that didn't sound like what I would describe as
a small wedding. The author stated she would have 47 people if
she just invited aunts, uncles and first cousins without even
adding in her fiance's family and their friends. And later said
that she wanted to be able to include everyone from the nooks
and crannies of her life. So I'm thinking well over 100 people.
But maybe I've lost track and the topic is now on a different
wedding.
[/quote]
I hadn't realized it was that many. Even if the groom's family
is smaller than hers, then she adds "everyone from the nooks and
crannies", that's probably around a hundred people. Preparing
food for that many people, even if you make it yourself, is
expensive, a lot of work, and difficult to store safely. It's
one thing to make cheesy potatoes or pasta salad for 20. Making
it for 100 in a non-professional kitchen is very different. I
think that the bride who thought this up isn't thinking about
all the problems involved. Maybe she should do a dry run of
trying to prepare ribs for 75 to 100 people, and see what it
entails.
[/quote]
As you say, it can be a lot of work.
One wedding I attended was way out in the woods, where the Happy
Couple had just built a house. The father of the groom was
roasting a pig for the outdoor reception. No one realized that
the person watching over the roasting pig would not be able to
see or hear the wedding vows until it was time for the ceremony.
A good friend who volunteered was quickly given some
instructions so he could tend the pig and the father of the
groom could watch his son getting married.
Any self-catered wedding reception may have this problem. Who is
putting out the food? If there is any day-of cooking, who is
doing that and where? Are the families of the couple going to be
dishing out food in their good clothes?
If it's a small wedding, the problems are fewer. But to host
100 or more people, you need someone in charge who does not have
to attend the ceremony, so they can get things ready and keep an
eye on things.
#Post#: 15895--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Twik Date: October 11, 2018, 10:20 am
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=623.msg15793#msg15793
date=1539181066]
You you talking about the wedding described in the article?
Because that didn't sound like what I would describe as a small
wedding. The author stated she would have 47 people if she just
invited aunts, uncles and first cousins without even adding in
her fiance's family and their friends. And later said that she
wanted to be able to include everyone from the nooks and
crannies of her life. So I'm thinking well over 100 people.
But maybe I've lost track and the topic is now on a different
wedding.
[/quote]
Oh good gravy! She wants a potluck for 50+ (maybe a big +)
people? That's scarcely feasible.
#Post#: 15902--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: lmyrs Date: October 11, 2018, 10:52 am
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[quote author=Twik link=topic=623.msg15895#msg15895
date=1539271203]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=623.msg15793#msg15793
date=1539181066]
You you talking about the wedding described in the article?
Because that didn't sound like what I would describe as a small
wedding. The author stated she would have 47 people if she just
invited aunts, uncles and first cousins without even adding in
her fiance's family and their friends. And later said that she
wanted to be able to include everyone from the nooks and
crannies of her life. So I'm thinking well over 100 people.
But maybe I've lost track and the topic is now on a different
wedding.
[/quote]
Oh good gravy! She wants a potluck for 50+ (maybe a big +)
people? That's scarcely feasible.
[/quote]
I wouldn't do it for a wedding, but a potluck for over 100
people is definitely feasible. My family does it several times a
year, including major holidays in homes and while camping 2
hours away from a proper grocery store. I think if you have some
organization and people aren't too precious about it, it's
actually pretty simple.
#Post#: 15903--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Two Ravens Date: October 11, 2018, 11:01 am
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This reminds me of a recent submission to Carolyn Hax:
[quote].Dear Carolyn, My fiancé and I want a small, backyard
wedding with about 75 guests. My grandmother has a huge yard
that would be perfect for our wedding next spring. I asked her
if we could get married there and she said yes, so I was very
excited to start planning. Then last weekend I had lunch with my
sister. She told me that our grandmother is too old and isn’t
well enough physically to get her house ready to host an event
like this so our mother will be doing most of the work. I told
her it was an outdoor wedding, all we have to do is get some
chairs and everything will work out. My sister started telling
me I have to plan for parking, bathrooms, permits, chairs, a
tent for bad weather, alerting the neighbors, hiring a lawn
company to fix up our grandmothers lawn and I’m sure I am
forgetting stuff. I just wanted a simple backyard wedding and my
grandma agreed to it, now it feels really complicated. I am
upset with my mother and sister for inserting themselves into
something that ought to be between me and my grandma. How can I
get them to back off? [/quote]
I think this is similar in the columnist is not thinking of all
of the logistics and preparation that will need to go into her
potluck wedding.
(Carolyn basically told the chatter her sister was right and her
simple wedding was imaginary.)
#Post#: 15907--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Hmmm Date: October 11, 2018, 11:29 am
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[quote author=lmyrs link=topic=623.msg15902#msg15902
date=1539273176]
[quote author=Twik link=topic=623.msg15895#msg15895
date=1539271203]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=623.msg15793#msg15793
date=1539181066]
You you talking about the wedding described in the article?
Because that didn't sound like what I would describe as a small
wedding. The author stated she would have 47 people if she just
invited aunts, uncles and first cousins without even adding in
her fiance's family and their friends. And later said that she
wanted to be able to include everyone from the nooks and
crannies of her life. So I'm thinking well over 100 people.
But maybe I've lost track and the topic is now on a different
wedding.
[/quote]
Oh good gravy! She wants a potluck for 50+ (maybe a big +)
people? That's scarcely feasible.
[/quote]
I wouldn't do it for a wedding, but a potluck for over 100
people is definitely feasible. My family does it several times a
year, including major holidays in homes and while camping 2
hours away from a proper grocery store. I think if you have some
organization and people aren't too precious about it, it's
actually pretty simple.
[/quote]
I agree. I always thought that was why potlucks originated. If a
community group needed to feed a lot of people, everyone brought
something so that no one had to provide too much. You were never
expected to bring a dish that needed to serve everyone and
because there was such a wide variety of food no one took a
"full serving" of one dish.
Even with the wedding scenario, you could still manage it even
if it was only immediate family of the bride and groom. not
everyone is going to want to eat the uncle's ribs. So he may
only prepare 6 racks which would be around 60 to ribs. Someone
else might make a couple of pans of lasagna which can easily be
30 servings. Someone else could bring a couple of hams or do a
couple of briskets Then you add in a few dozen deviled eggs, the
sides of potato, fruit, green salads, baked beans, and other
vegetables you end up with more food than people will consume.
I know a lot of people do not like pot luck because they don't
like making a meal out of a hodgepodge of dishes. They insead
want their main and accompanying sides. But I personally would
go to any potluck I'm invited to just to get the variety at the
sweets table.
#Post#: 15909--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: TeamBhakta Date: October 11, 2018, 11:32 am
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It (the original letter) is a bad idea because a wedding falls
under "once in a lifetime event where mistakes will cause hurt
feelings, be captured in expensive photos and will not be easily
forgotten." You can have a lopsided office / casual family
potluck where too many people bring chips & it's a funny story
for later. Not enough people chipping in for a wedding potluck =
Guests are leaving early to hit Burger King, wondering why the
couple didn't book a caterer instead. The bride & groom are
annoyed with the guests for not being invested enough in "our
happiness."
#Post#: 15969--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: camlan Date: October 12, 2018, 9:03 am
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In the responses to the original article in the paper, one woman
wrote in that she had a pot-luck wedding reception, and was
happy that as a result, her wedding only cost around $2,000.
But she was ignoring the cost of the food her guests brought,
and the time and talent it took to prepare the food and
transport the food.
Her wedding actually cost more than $2,000, but she shifted that
additional cost to her guests. She was very proud of her budget
wedding.
I understand that not everyone can afford a big wedding. But I'm
a strong believer that you should have the wedding you can
afford. (Also the car you can afford, the housing you can
afford, etc.) If you need to do pot-luck because of budget
reasons, you should keep your guest list small, and make it as
easy as possible for guests to bring food and keep it at a safe
temperature. A pot-luck with just the immediate family of the
happy couple, say, or family and a few close friends---the kind
of people who would *volunteer* to make your wedding dinner.
#Post#: 16180--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Hanna Date: October 15, 2018, 12:12 pm
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The article to me reads like the author was assigned a topic by
her editor "Pot Luck Wedding" and this was the result. There's
no real wedding planned, or even a groom. Doubtful that once
that real thing comes along she will actually opt for this type
of wedding.
I guess it could be called "courageous" to not be sure if your
wedding guests will actually get fed.
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