DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Weddings
*****************************************************
#Post#: 15497--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: TeamBhakta Date: October 5, 2018, 10:16 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote]
Honestly curious. How would a catered meal be better for someone
with allergies? It seems like with a potluck there would be a
wider variety of options for those with allergies or food
restrictions.
[/quote]
If you've got 20+ guests contributing to a wedding potluck,
that's 20+ varying standards of kitchen cleanliness &
understandings of allergies (or a lack of it). You might have
Aunt Betty over there with a spotless kitchen & a willingness to
Google "how to avoid gluten contamination." But then you might
also get Cousin Fred who privately thinks gluten allergies are a
myth, or your co-worker who assumes not actively adding flour is
enough. Also people will forget (sometimes on purpose) "Oh, did
I add bacon / bread crumbs / random seasoning to it ? Of course
not..Oops, I guess I did! Well, you can just pick around it!" At
least with caterers there's the incentive of "We'll get sued if
we make someone sick."
#Post#: 15500--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: TootsNYC Date: October 5, 2018, 10:36 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=STiG link=topic=623.msg11923#msg11923
date=1534952098]
I don't have a problem with it as long as participation is
voluntary and counts as their gift to the happy couple. And
people who are travelling are exempt.
I like her thought process of sharing traditional family foods
with their new families.
So if there was a note in my invitation from this bride that
said, 'In lieu of a traditional gift, would you be willing to
make a double batch of your [insert specialty here] for us to
serve at the reception? We both want to share the foods we love
and grew up with each other and with our new families.' I'd
probably participate, gladly. And my contribution would
probably be packaged in a lovely serving dish of some sort,
perhaps from a thrift store or out of my own cupboard with the
intention that they keep it.
[/quote]
I wouldn't want that request to be in the invitation.
I'd want that request to come directly from her to me,
independent of any invitation.
I think when you host a wedding reception, you should do so with
your own assets.
Now, "your own assets" may be "the goodwill and generosity of
those who love you most." If my niece asked me to help her in
hosting her reception because she was trying hard to be frugal,
I'd probably be happy to. In my ILs' family, there are often
many people bringing food to the barbecue, etc. And a lot of
those folks would be happy to help if asked.
But every guest? that's not cool.
Interestingly, she only lists a few specific examples, and those
would fit in with my idea of "asking your nearest and dearest
for help"--but I wouldn't want my mom to have to make her
potatoes; I'd want someone else to follow her recipe.
[quote]my uncle’s ribs, with sides of my mom’s cheesy potatoes
and my aunt’s ceviche. Then I want to finish the night with my
grandmother’s jelly-filled cookies, which she only makes for
baptisms and other special days.'[/quote]
I would bet grandma would be touched to be asked to provide
jelly-filled cookies, especially since she's already got
experience making big batches for special events. And uncle
might be willing to barbecue, if the crowd isn't too large and
he can ask the nephews to help, and ceviche might be easier to
transport than one thinks once it's done marinating; you can
keep stuff cold for a while in some cooler.
However--she is forgetting that it is NOT easy to bring those
wonderful foods all the way to a wedding in some other home, let
alone a PARK! So choosing the dishes might be hard. Ribs? Might
work. Cheesy potatoes? Hmmm. Ceviche? Possible, with good
coolers and ice. Cookies? Easy-peasy.
So if she asks for a few specific things, and fills it out with
other stuff, it might work.
#Post#: 15528--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Hmmm Date: October 6, 2018, 10:55 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=623.msg15497#msg15497
date=1538795788]
[quote]
Honestly curious. How would a catered meal be better for someone
with allergies? It seems like with a potluck there would be a
wider variety of options for those with allergies or food
restrictions.
[/quote]
If you've got 20+ guests contributing to a wedding potluck,
that's 20+ varying standards of kitchen cleanliness &
understandings of allergies (or a lack of it). You might have
Aunt Betty over there with a spotless kitchen & a willingness to
Google "how to avoid gluten contamination." But then you might
also get Cousin Fred who privately thinks gluten allergies are a
myth, or your co-worker who assumes not actively adding flour is
enough. Also people will forget (sometimes on purpose) "Oh, did
I add bacon / bread crumbs / random seasoning to it ? Of course
not..Oops, I guess I did! Well, you can just pick around it!" At
least with caterers there's the incentive of "We'll get sued if
we make someone sick."
[/quote]
Yeah, I get that if the caterer was told that they had to
prepare a fully gluten free meal. I just see it as unlikely a
couple would think to do that unless the guest as a close family
member or one of them. I don't know if any of my cousins or
other extended family members or even SO's of my close friends
have severe allergy issues.
#Post#: 15535--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: lakey Date: October 6, 2018, 12:18 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote]Now, "your own assets" may be "the goodwill and
generosity of those who love you most." If my niece asked me to
help her in hosting her reception because she was trying hard to
be frugal, I'd probably be happy to. In my ILs' family, there
are often many people bringing food to the barbecue, etc. And a
lot of those folks would be happy to help if asked.
But every guest? that's not cool.[/quote]
This is the way I see it. As long as the people being asked are
very close and you know they wouldn't mind, it could work.
Expecting other people to spend the night before the wedding
preparing food, could be a problem. I would have done it for a
niece or nephew. It also depends on the size of the guest list.
Making enough for 20 is one thing, making enough for 50 is very
different. Actually, barbecuing enough ribs for 20 people could
be difficult.
#Post#: 15553--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: TootsNYC Date: October 6, 2018, 6:01 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
One thing not mentioned: If I were asking my uncle to barbecue
his ribs for my wedding, I think he would be expecting me to pay
for the meat.
Another option this woman hasn't considered is having her
caterer use family recipes. Serving buffet style, etc., can
still be pretty frugal.
#Post#: 15566--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: jazzgirl205 Date: October 6, 2018, 11:10 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I see the reception as a thankyou to the friends and family who
have been a part of your life. It sounds like the writer is not
hosting her guests. Is she renting a green space or just using
a public park? What about all the tables for the food? Chairs?
Is she going to rent them or ask the guests to bring those, too?
The only expense she mentioned was a dress.
When one "hosts" a potluck, they are not giving their guests a
party - the guests are giving them a party. Another thing,
there is a cluttered drabness to potlucks. You may have
beautiful floral arrangements and lovely linen but the table
will still be filled with mismatched serving dishes and
Tupperware. People tend to bring their serveware that is the
most portable.
As many weddings as I have attended, I've never been to one with
a sit down dinner. I've been to cake and punch receptions that
also offered filberts and finger sandwiches. I've been to
receptions that looked more like cocktail parties with a full
bar, live band, and enough of a wide variety of finger food to
stuff a rhino. At both kinds, guest were expected to mingle and
introduce themselves to those they did not know.
#Post#: 15589--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: LadyRexall Date: October 7, 2018, 3:02 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=623.msg15438#msg15438
date=1538747026]
[quote author=LadyRexall link=topic=623.msg15406#msg15406
date=1538698693]
I’m gluten-free. For years now I’ve become sick after eating
someone’s well intentioned idea of a gluten free dish,
especially when they don’t fully understand how important cross
contamination is!!!!! There’s tons of other allergies too that
can make a person very ill. So, do each of the allergy people
bring a dish they can eat and share it while not partaking in
anyone else’s food? I’d be upset going to a wedding where I
could only count on one dish not making me sick. And because I
know how serious my Illness is, I’d never do a potluck wedding
as I couldn’t guarantee that other people’s restriction could be
met.
[/quote]
Honestly curious. How would a catered meal be better for someone
with allergies? It seems like with a potluck there would be a
wider variety of options for those with allergies or food
restrictions.
I guess if the couple made the caterer aware they had someone
with gluten issues attending and to be careful with cross
contamination, then it's possible that there is more chance to
have more gluten free options and less likely of cross
contamination. However, I doubt most couples are going to think
to pass on those instructions to a caterer. And most caterers
aren't going to take the precautions needed to make sure they
aren't cross contaminating foods with airborne particles or
using an oven that had previously been used for a gluten item.
I really do feel for those of you have severe food allergies. A
Celiac friend of ours has pretty much had to start eating only
what is prepared in her gluten free kitchen. Most of us just
forget we can't be mixing up a cake while also slicing up some
fruit in the same kitchen because some of the flour could become
airborne and make it onto the fruit.
[/quote]
#Post#: 15791--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Twik Date: October 10, 2018, 9:06 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=623.msg15528#msg15528
date=1538841337]
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=623.msg15497#msg15497
date=1538795788]
[quote]
Honestly curious. How would a catered meal be better for someone
with allergies? It seems like with a potluck there would be a
wider variety of options for those with allergies or food
restrictions.
[/quote]
If you've got 20+ guests contributing to a wedding potluck,
that's 20+ varying standards of kitchen cleanliness &
understandings of allergies (or a lack of it). You might have
Aunt Betty over there with a spotless kitchen & a willingness to
Google "how to avoid gluten contamination." But then you might
also get Cousin Fred who privately thinks gluten allergies are a
myth, or your co-worker who assumes not actively adding flour is
enough. Also people will forget (sometimes on purpose) "Oh, did
I add bacon / bread crumbs / random seasoning to it ? Of course
not..Oops, I guess I did! Well, you can just pick around it!" At
least with caterers there's the incentive of "We'll get sued if
we make someone sick."
[/quote]
Yeah, I get that if the caterer was told that they had to
prepare a fully gluten free meal. I just see it as unlikely a
couple would think to do that unless the guest as a close family
member or one of them. I don't know if any of my cousins or
other extended family members or even SO's of my close friends
have severe allergy issues.
[/quote]
Well, it appears the wedding is for a small number of people, so
it behooves the HC to find out if any of them are likely to
become seriously ill. Serving twenty close friends and relatives
is far different from five hundred.
And yes, I would say if a commercial caterer is asked for a
gluten-free option, they should be legally aware of what that
entails regarding cross-contamination, just as restaurants that
offer gluten-free options are. This isn't an oddball issue that
they're hardly ever faced with these days.
#Post#: 15793--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Hmmm Date: October 10, 2018, 9:17 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Twik link=topic=623.msg15791#msg15791
date=1539180404]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=623.msg15528#msg15528
date=1538841337]
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=623.msg15497#msg15497
date=1538795788]
[quote]
Honestly curious. How would a catered meal be better for someone
with allergies? It seems like with a potluck there would be a
wider variety of options for those with allergies or food
restrictions.
[/quote]
If you've got 20+ guests contributing to a wedding potluck,
that's 20+ varying standards of kitchen cleanliness &
understandings of allergies (or a lack of it). You might have
Aunt Betty over there with a spotless kitchen & a willingness to
Google "how to avoid gluten contamination." But then you might
also get Cousin Fred who privately thinks gluten allergies are a
myth, or your co-worker who assumes not actively adding flour is
enough. Also people will forget (sometimes on purpose) "Oh, did
I add bacon / bread crumbs / random seasoning to it ? Of course
not..Oops, I guess I did! Well, you can just pick around it!" At
least with caterers there's the incentive of "We'll get sued if
we make someone sick."
[/quote]
Yeah, I get that if the caterer was told that they had to
prepare a fully gluten free meal. I just see it as unlikely a
couple would think to do that unless the guest as a close family
member or one of them. I don't know if any of my cousins or
other extended family members or even SO's of my close friends
have severe allergy issues.
[/quote]
Well, it appears the wedding is for a small number of people, so
it behooves the HC to find out if any of them are likely to
become seriously ill. Serving twenty close friends and relatives
is far different from five hundred.
And yes, I would say if a commercial caterer is asked for a
gluten-free option, they should be legally aware of what that
entails regarding cross-contamination, just as restaurants that
offer gluten-free options are. This isn't an oddball issue that
they're hardly ever faced with these days.
[/quote]
You you talking about the wedding described in the article?
Because that didn't sound like what I would describe as a small
wedding. The author stated she would have 47 people if she just
invited aunts, uncles and first cousins without even adding in
her fiance's family and their friends. And later said that she
wanted to be able to include everyone from the nooks and
crannies of her life. So I'm thinking well over 100 people.
But maybe I've lost track and the topic is now on a different
wedding.
#Post#: 15796--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Kimberami Date: October 10, 2018, 9:36 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I don't think I would want to ask my family to be bothered with
the task of wrestling massive amounts of food (in their good
clothes) that will have to be stored during the ceremony and
heated up at the reception. It just seems like a lot of problems
waiting to happen.
I think it would be better to ask if family is willing to donate
recipes to the HC. Then the recipes could be put into an "Our
Family" cookbook and shared.
*****************************************************
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page