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#Post#: 11988--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: gmatoy Date: August 22, 2018, 3:43 pm
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I will say that I have been to wedding receptions that were all
or partially pot-luck and really enjoyed them. What I thought,
as I read the article, was that you need to invest in some food
that will be able to fill in the gaps in case there isn't enough
food.
I went to a backyard party (not a reception) where the family
throwing the party had bought some used refrigerators, put them
outside, and ran extension cords to them. So if the deviled eggs
ran out, someone would open the refrigerator with the egg sign
and pull out more! Need more potato salad? Go to that
refrigerator and grab a bowl! It was so great!
My friend's son and DIL had a pie reception and asked everyone
to bring a pie. It was held on the other side of the mountains
from us and so we didn't go. I pride myself on my pies, but I
would have bought one rather than try to travel so many hours
with it.
#Post#: 11994--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: chigger Date: August 22, 2018, 5:10 pm
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My issue is this: you need to be able to trust the people who
are supposed to bring things!
When my stepson and his wife were married, they had a very small
budget. We, as is custom offered to host the rehearsal dinner.
When I asked about the wedding reception, I heard, Oh I thought
we'd do a potluck! Nope, nope. So we worked up a simple, but
nice menu, that I could make myself. Her Mom and best friend
offered to make a side dish each. Come the day of the wedding,
neither brought the veggie side dishes they had promised,
because they were too "busy with the wedding". So there was only
salad to go with the entrees and starch that I had made! It
pissed me off so bad, because they had both offered and did not
follow through. So really know your audience before you plan
something like this!
#Post#: 11995--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Lilac Date: August 22, 2018, 5:10 pm
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I read that column this a.m. and wasn't impressed. She's very
earnest about the vibe she is going for but there was so much
emphasis on the "characters" she envisioned people portraying at
her celebration -- the various cohorts of people vs. the
individuals -- she came off as rather shallow and/or naive.
It's one thing if a group wants to cooperate on a meal for
mutual benefit. But if you expect a diverse array of people who
aren't part of a normal potluck group (church, book club,
whatever) to come to celebrate your personal milestone, please
don't put them to work unless they are part of your very inner
circle. Just because cousin Billybob makes great ribs doesn't
mean he wants to make them for YOUR wedding. I make a mean beef
wellington and great cheese straws -- for MY guests, when I feel
like it. I would not be thrilled if my neighor, garden club
friend, last year's office intern or yoga pal voluntold me to
whip some up for her event.
A simple picnic celebration is great and to me, preferable to
the interminable ersatz dinner dance that is the contemporary
standard. But please, host your guests. Deli trays from Kroger
and some brownies you baked the night before are just fine. A
lemonade and ice cream social is fine. A wine and cheese
tasting is fine. Take-out chicken is fine. Please don't ask
your friends to juggle food prep and transport into their plans.
(Plus, i don't eat strangers' homemade food due to concerns
about hygiene, meat sourcing and other issues, and I know many
people who feel the same. if we are gifted food we dump it when
the gifter leaves, and faced with it in public we are "stuffed
from a big lunch" or "a little under the weather." Catered food
is preferable -- at least it was likely prepped in a licensed
kitchen.)
#Post#: 12040--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: camlan Date: August 23, 2018, 12:15 pm
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I've read the article and I really like the way she describes
her ideal wedding. It sounds lovely.
But what about the guests? If they have to travel any distance,
they are faced with keeping the food hot or cold during the
drive and ceremony and possibly while it is being served. The
day of the wedding, they not only have to get ready for the
wedding and drive there, they will have to cook and pack the
food. Okay, maybe they can make the food the day before, but if
it's a Saturday wedding and you work Monday-Friday, Saturday
morning may be the only time you have.
And if you have to travel? Hotel rooms are not the best places
to prepare potluck dishes.
If all or most of your guests live within an hour or so of your
wedding venue and you exempt the few who have to travel long
distances from bringing food, fine. But if a lot of your guests
have to travel any distance to your wedding, having to bring
part of the meal is, to me, asking too much of your guests. You
know, the people you are hosting and who are expecting you to
provide the hospitality.
I have had to bring food to two potluck weddings. I was very
stressed. It was not easy to find the time to buy and make the
food, or keep it at a safe temperature. And I really didn't like
having to juggle a casserole while dressed in my best. I'm
clumsy and I was worried I'd spill something on my dress. The
weddings were probably lovely. But what I remember is the stress
of having to bring the food.
#Post#: 12047--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: DaDancingPsych Date: August 23, 2018, 1:20 pm
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Bring a dish *AND* a gift? ::) No thanks. Bring a dish as my
gift? I am a terrible cook, but I could probably make that
happen. (I am also a terrible gift buyer, so I am stressed
either way.)
Our family has many self-catered receptions. That does give the
event that family feel that she mentions. Because it is a norm
in my family, it is typically reciprocated, so no one is feeling
put out. Even before the invitations are issued, MOTB will tell
her sister the happy news. Sister will express her excitement
and ask "Do you need me to make my cookies?" That's just how the
dynamic works. But if this is not how this family typically
operates, it would probably require some reworking.
#Post#: 12237--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: TeamBhakta Date: August 25, 2018, 10:30 pm
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The writer sounds very flighty & pretentious to me. When she
started blathering about vulnerability & courage, I found her
very unlikable. There's nothing brave or unique about "I want to
make my guest work for free." ::) She's thinking a $100 dress &
a potluck in the park = all her loved ones bonding over "our
mutual love of Gretchen & her groom." What I think as a wedding
guest is "Oh great, I have to trot across damp grass in high
heels and sweat in a fancy dress in 90 degree weather. And I
must think of a non-perishable dish that is more filling than
crackers or brownies." ::)
#Post#: 12258--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Luci Date: August 26, 2018, 10:09 am
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I’ve twice been to receptions similar to this following church
weddings in the 90s. Huge, close family, not a whole lot of
spare cash but the family all want to participate. The aunts and
cousins brought the main dishes and important sides and everyone
else brought if they wanted to. They were the most fun wedding
ever, especially when the water fights began in the park.
(People holding a camera were exempt from the water fight.) we
drove 600 hundred miles for both of them and just took some wine
coolers.
The original post sounded a little stuffy so I don’t know if I
would like hers or not.
Know your friends and family and family traditions.
#Post#: 15406--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: LadyRexall Date: October 4, 2018, 7:18 pm
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I’m gluten-free. For years now I’ve become sick after eating
someone’s well intentioned idea of a gluten free dish,
especially when they don’t fully understand how important cross
contamination is!!!!! There’s tons of other allergies too that
can make a person very ill. So, do each of the allergy people
bring a dish they can eat and share it while not partaking in
anyone else’s food? I’d be upset going to a wedding where I
could only count on one dish not making me sick. And because I
know how serious my Illness is, I’d never do a potluck wedding
as I couldn’t guarantee that other people’s restriction could be
met.
#Post#: 15429--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Two Ravens Date: October 5, 2018, 6:32 am
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I think that if you want a potluck wedding, you should have a
potluck wedding. Do a little work to make sure there is a
variety of dishes and plenty of drinks.
However, this part:
[quote]It takes courage to stand up to the expectations of those
we care about and actually do what we want. It takes
vulnerability to be true to ourselves, especially when everyone
we know is watching. In my little life with all of its mess and
failure, success and magic, I have never regretted being myself,
even when doing so made my heart pound.[/quote]
Gave me all the eye rolls. ::) ::) ::) ::)
Come on. Having the cheap wedding you want isnt some kind of
shining beacon of courage in the modern age. Get over yourself.
#Post#: 15438--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Hmmm Date: October 5, 2018, 8:43 am
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[quote author=LadyRexall link=topic=623.msg15406#msg15406
date=1538698693]
I’m gluten-free. For years now I’ve become sick after eating
someone’s well intentioned idea of a gluten free dish,
especially when they don’t fully understand how important cross
contamination is!!!!! There’s tons of other allergies too that
can make a person very ill. So, do each of the allergy people
bring a dish they can eat and share it while not partaking in
anyone else’s food? I’d be upset going to a wedding where I
could only count on one dish not making me sick. And because I
know how serious my Illness is, I’d never do a potluck wedding
as I couldn’t guarantee that other people’s restriction could be
met.
[/quote]
Honestly curious. How would a catered meal be better for someone
with allergies? It seems like with a potluck there would be a
wider variety of options for those with allergies or food
restrictions.
I guess if the couple made the caterer aware they had someone
with gluten issues attending and to be careful with cross
contamination, then it's possible that there is more chance to
have more gluten free options and less likely of cross
contamination. However, I doubt most couples are going to think
to pass on those instructions to a caterer. And most caterers
aren't going to take the precautions needed to make sure they
aren't cross contaminating foods with airborne particles or
using an oven that had previously been used for a gluten item.
I really do feel for those of you have severe food allergies. A
Celiac friend of ours has pretty much had to start eating only
what is prepared in her gluten free kitchen. Most of us just
forget we can't be mixing up a cake while also slicing up some
fruit in the same kitchen because some of the flour could become
airborne and make it onto the fruit.
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