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#Post#: 11921--------------------------------------------------
Potluck Wedding Reception
By: DCGirl Date: August 22, 2018, 10:11 am
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The Washington Post has a column from a woman who wants a
potluck wedding reception. What do you all think?
HTML https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2018/08/22/ive-worked-so-many-fancy-weddings-for-myself-i-still-just-want-a-potluck/?utm_term=.ece1ab110652
#Post#: 11923--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: STiG Date: August 22, 2018, 10:34 am
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I don't have a problem with it as long as participation is
voluntary and counts as their gift to the happy couple. And
people who are travelling are exempt.
I like her thought process of sharing traditional family foods
with their new families.
So if there was a note in my invitation from this bride that
said, 'In lieu of a traditional gift, would you be willing to
make a double batch of your [insert specialty here] for us to
serve at the reception? We both want to share the foods we love
and grew up with each other and with our new families.' I'd
probably participate, gladly. And my contribution would
probably be packaged in a lovely serving dish of some sort,
perhaps from a thrift store or out of my own cupboard with the
intention that they keep it.
#Post#: 11938--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Pattycake Date: August 22, 2018, 11:50 am
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[quote author=DCGirl link=topic=623.msg11921#msg11921
date=1534950677]
The Washington Post has a column from a woman who wants a
potluck wedding reception. What do you all think?
HTML https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2018/08/22/ive-worked-so-many-fancy-weddings-for-myself-i-still-just-want-a-potluck/?utm_term=.ece1ab110652
[/quote]
can you summarize a bit more for those of us who don't
subscribe?
#Post#: 11941--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: iolaus Date: August 22, 2018, 11:58 am
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Basically she's always been frugal, has a big family, has been
to many weddings (both working as a server and as a guest) and
feels the best ones are where the individuality of the couple
shine through and whatever you do at least one guest won't like
something
She'd like to get married in a park with all their family
around, the potluck aspect is mainly summed up in this paragraph
'I also dream of a potluck wedding because so much of a family’s
identity can be found in food. I want to savor the foods of the
person whose family I have entered, and I want him to taste some
of mine. My mouth waters at the thought of my uncle’s ribs, with
sides of my mom’s cheesy potatoes and my aunt’s ceviche. Then I
want to finish the night with my grandmother’s jelly-filled
cookies, which she only makes for baptisms and other special
days.'
And I really like that idea
#Post#: 11945--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Hmmm Date: August 22, 2018, 12:22 pm
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She says she envisions a garden wedding in a $100 dress with all
of her family, friends and even long ago Scout Troop leader in
attendance all mingling around and meeting for the first time
with young children all running round. She also says that
because food is such a big part of her family, she wants to
share in her future husband's food influence while also having
her uncle's ribs, mom's potatoes, and grandmothers jelly filled
cookies.
To me, if she would change the concept from Potluck (which to me
implies all guests contribute) to Self Catering then I have no
problem. In my experience family members do help out with self
catered events if they so choose. But since her parents seem to
balk at the idea (they offered to pay if she wanted potluck
because of cost) then it doesn't sound like Mom is up for making
cheesy potatoes for 200. So to me, this is something that you
can ask of your parents, siblings, or maybe an aunt/uncle/cousin
that you are very close to. But don't be asking your troop
leader, the cousin you haven't seen in 5 years, or your next
door neighbor to bring a dish for your wedding.
My only caveat is I know of some church groups or community
groups where a group hosted wedding can be the norm, but it is
reciprocated among the community.
#Post#: 11946--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Rose Red Date: August 22, 2018, 12:28 pm
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I think it's fine as long as friends and family are ok with
bringing food as their gift. Make requests, not demands, for
Aunt Judy's special salad. And the cooks make the amount they
are comfortable with in both quantity and budget (do not demand
Uncle pay for and make ribs for 500).
As with all potlucks, I'm sure there are those who don't cook.
The HC need to organize a list so there isn't 50 packages of
paper plates or 75 bottles of soda :D.
#Post#: 11954--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: kckgirl Date: August 22, 2018, 1:25 pm
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I went to a potluck wedding reception this summer. It was
wonderful! There was a nice variety of appetizers, salads, main
dishes, sides, and desserts. Everybody had all they wanted and
there was plenty of food left over. The wedding was on Saturday
of Memorial Day weekend, and all the leftovers were saved for a
picnic on Monday.
#Post#: 11962--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: mime Date: August 22, 2018, 1:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I think she comes across like she just wants all of her guests
to enjoy being there and sharing with each other, in an
atmosphere that says "this is special" not by the fanciness of
the venue and 'stuff', but by the presence of loved ones and
their chance to interact with one another-- partially through
the act of sharing a table and sharing their food. What a lovely
desire!
I know that in some circles, a potluck wedding is common, so
that makes this feel more acceptable to me.
Of course there will be some people who won't be comfortable
with this type of participation or have some logistical problem
with it. She would need a plan for that. I also think she should
approach it personally-- not through wording in her invitations,
but through phone calls, face-to-face conversations, and maybe
the 'auntie network' that many families have.
If I were invited to something like this, I'd happily
participate. I'm a lousy cook, so I'd probably agonize over what
to bring, but if the writer was able to convey her wishes to me
in a way that captured the spirit of her article, I would be
happy to be included.
I think this is a very thoughtful response:
[quote author=STiG link=topic=623.msg11923#msg11923
date=1534952098]
So if there was a note in my invitation from this bride that
said, 'In lieu of a traditional gift, would you be willing to
make a double batch of your [insert specialty here] for us to
serve at the reception? We both want to share the foods we love
and grew up with each other and with our new families.' I'd
probably participate, gladly. And my contribution would
probably be packaged in a lovely serving dish of some sort,
perhaps from a thrift store or out of my own cupboard with the
intention that they keep it.
[/quote]
It's funny how getting a sense of the HC's thought process makes
such a difference. If this was an article talking about how she
planned to keep wedding costs down in order to save up money for
a honeymoon or house payment, I would suddenly be feeling very
different about the whole situation. Interesting.
#Post#: 11970--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: Pattycake Date: August 22, 2018, 2:12 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=iolaus link=topic=623.msg11941#msg11941
date=1534957110]
Basically she's always been frugal, has a big family, has been
to many weddings (both working as a server and as a guest) and
feels the best ones are where the individuality of the couple
shine through and whatever you do at least one guest won't like
something
She'd like to get married in a park with all their family
around, the potluck aspect is mainly summed up in this paragraph
'I also dream of a potluck wedding because so much of a family’s
identity can be found in food. I want to savor the foods of the
person whose family I have entered, and I want him to taste some
of mine. My mouth waters at the thought of my uncle’s ribs, with
sides of my mom’s cheesy potatoes and my aunt’s ceviche. Then I
want to finish the night with my grandmother’s jelly-filled
cookies, which she only makes for baptisms and other special
days.'
And I really like that idea
[/quote]
Thank you!
I think it's a know-your-guests sort of thing. I can see this
going over well with a lot of people I know. My friends
self-catered their daughter's recent dessert-only reception,
mostly purchased from Costco, but I could tell a few of the
items were made by someone in their church circle! Since they
aren't doing it primarily to keep costs down, and are saying to
do it in lieu of gifts, I think it would be fun. And yummy.
#Post#: 11973--------------------------------------------------
Re: Potluck Wedding Reception
By: dani321 Date: August 22, 2018, 2:21 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=pjeans link=topic=623.msg11962#msg11962
date=1534964250]
I think she comes across like she just wants all of her guests
to enjoy being there and sharing with each other, in an
atmosphere that says "this is special" not by the fanciness of
the venue and 'stuff', but by the presence of loved ones and
their chance to interact with one another-- partially through
the act of sharing a table and sharing their food. What a lovely
desire!
I know that in some circles, a potluck wedding is common, so
that makes this feel more acceptable to me.
Of course there will be some people who won't be comfortable
with this type of participation or have some logistical problem
with it. She would need a plan for that. I also think she should
approach it personally-- not through wording in her invitations,
but through phone calls, face-to-face conversations, and maybe
the 'auntie network' that many families have.
If I were invited to something like this, I'd happily
participate. I'm a lousy cook, so I'd probably agonize over what
to bring, but if the writer was able to convey her wishes to me
in a way that captured the spirit of her article, I would be
happy to be included.
I think this is a very thoughtful response:
[quote author=STiG link=topic=623.msg11923#msg11923
date=1534952098]
So if there was a note in my invitation from this bride that
said, 'In lieu of a traditional gift, would you be willing to
make a double batch of your [insert specialty here] for us to
serve at the reception? We both want to share the foods we love
and grew up with each other and with our new families.' I'd
probably participate, gladly. And my contribution would
probably be packaged in a lovely serving dish of some sort,
perhaps from a thrift store or out of my own cupboard with the
intention that they keep it.
[/quote]
It's funny how getting a sense of the HC's thought process makes
such a difference. If this was an article talking about how she
planned to keep wedding costs down in order to save up money for
a honeymoon or house payment, I would suddenly be feeling very
different about the whole situation. Interesting.
[/quote]
I was literally just thinking the same exact thing as the bolded
right before I read your comment. I think it really comes down
to the thought behind the action. In this case, the thought
behind the action is lovely, but in another situation it could
be greediness. The other thing I think comes into play, is that
brides and grooms-to-be know their friends and families, and
presumably know what is too big of a favor to ask, and what
isn't. Some families would barely need to be asked before they
jump at the chance to contribute to a potluck wedding, and some
families will be extremely put out and call it tacky. Anyway, I
hope that the author gets her dream wedding one day, it sounds
wonderful but also attainable! (I see while I was typing,
Pattycake had the same observation about the know-your-guests
part ;D)
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