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#Post#: 11749--------------------------------------------------
The "buttinsky"
By: katiekat2009 Date: August 20, 2018, 9:02 am
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I had relatives visiting yesterday. I began to tell one relative
of a recent situation but, before I could get more than three
sentences out, she interrupted and began to give her opinion on
the subject. Since she didn't have the facts straight, I tried
to interject more information. She snapped, "Let me finish",
rudely. I was taken aback and just stared at her, as she had
interrupted first. I didn't want to get into a back and forth
in front of the other guests, so I let it lie, but it left a
pall over the rest of the visit for me. What I really wanted to
do was escort her to the door, but I refrained. How would you
handle?
#Post#: 11752--------------------------------------------------
Re: The "buttinsky"
By: Venus193 Date: August 20, 2018, 9:12 am
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I would have stopped her from the get-go. Does she have a habit
of doing this?
#Post#: 11754--------------------------------------------------
Re: The "buttinsky"
By: katiekat2009 Date: August 20, 2018, 9:14 am
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She has a habit of "snapping" unexpectedly. She is a relative so
I can't get rid of her.
#Post#: 11759--------------------------------------------------
Re: The "buttinsky"
By: Hmmm Date: August 20, 2018, 9:32 am
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[quote author=katiekat2009 link=topic=619.msg11754#msg11754
date=1534774483]
She has a habit of "snapping" unexpectedly. She is a relative so
I can't get rid of her.
[/quote]
I'd handle one of 3 ways.
When she first interrupts, interrupt her with a smile and a
"Please let me finish".
You can also go with allowing her to finish with an indulgent
smile and then turn to someone else in the conversation with a
"As I was saying, Nora went to State college, and received a
degree in biology", emphasizing the correct information. If she
tries to interrupt again say with again and indulgent smile "I
believe you are wrong but it's not important enough to argue
about."
Or I'd let her finish with an indulgent smile and then respond
with "I think you've misunderstood the situation so let's change
the subject. Who'd like some more coffee?"
#Post#: 11791--------------------------------------------------
Re: The "buttinsky"
By: hjaye Date: August 20, 2018, 3:08 pm
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It really depends on my relationship with the person.
Personally I have no problem pointing out the irony of the what
was just done.
"So let me get this straight. You interrupted me before I was
finished, and now you're calling me out because I tried to
finish what I was saying before you interrupted me? Ok, go
ahead" That usually flusters them so that it doesn't happen
again. However, it does depend on the dynmaics of the
relationship with the person. I had a neighbor once that would
walk up and interrupt conversations with things that had
absolutely nothing to do with what the original conversation was
about.
For example I would be talking with my next door neighbor about
watering our lawns, the neighbor from across the street would
see us, come over, and just start talking about his gun
collection. I would call him out on it, then continue my
conversation about lawn watering, and the clueless boor would
just keep on going. Telling us about his guns, how to shoot
them ect.
I know my example is a bit extreme, but personally I don't think
it's rude to call out a person for their rude behavior.
#Post#: 11800--------------------------------------------------
Re: The "buttinsky"
By: Luci Date: August 20, 2018, 4:23 pm
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I learned with one relative that I had to let her lose steam and
tell her she hadn’t heard the whole story so she shouldn’t pass
judgement and walk away. She still always accepted our invites
to further family get togethers. It wasn’t egregious enough to
quit inviting her, but I dreaded every time she joined my
conversational group.
#Post#: 11819--------------------------------------------------
Re: The "buttinsky"
By: mime Date: August 20, 2018, 7:52 pm
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I often handle this by saying something like "whoa-- you're
going the wrong direction there: this actually happened *after*
everyone left the restaurant..."
I do interrupt in this case. Maybe the rudeness of that is
questionable, but I think of it as getting a derailed
conversation back on track.
I also think that starting with an interjection like "whoa" or
"uh-oh" gets some attention from the speaker and seems to convey
"something's wrong here" and tends to make people want to
correct whatever the problem is. It doesn't work 100% of the
time, but it does pull some people back in line.
#Post#: 11833--------------------------------------------------
Re: The "buttinsky"
By: stonecoldnegan Date: August 21, 2018, 8:54 am
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oooh interrupting is one of my big pet peeves >:( I often say
something like “I'm going to wait until you're done interjecting
before I finish my thought.”. Then, when they seem done, I say
“You're done now? OK its my turn:...”
Petty? Maybe a bit.. But the interrupters of this world need to
be brought to order haha! ;D
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