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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 11311--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: ZekailleTasker
Date: August 12, 2018, 2:31 pm
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--- Quote from: Hanna link ---
>
> From reading your OP I’m wondering why you feel your own job
is at stake?
>
> Also, you don’t have to to be a bada** or a b***h to be a good
manager! None of my bosses have ever been like that, but I liked
and respected them all.
>
--- End Quote ---
I suppose I should have been less histrionic in my wording. ;)
My other colleagues were known as bad a$$ b***hes because of
their ability to tell people to go to he** and make it sound
like a good trip. People were terrified of them but respected
them at the same time. They were mostly fair and easy to get
along with. They had great senses of humor and were fun to be
around, so even though they were tough, everyone wanted to work
with them. I am trying to be like that, but it isn't easy.
That's why I spend time on Ask A Manager and why I am taking a
class in management.
I feel my job is at stake because the assistant director
hinted that I could be bumped back to entry level status as
"your staff is unhappy" or maybe fired for not directly
following thru on his orders. Again--he's the one who made this
mess. He'll complain that Eve is being insubordinate to him, I
will talk to her about chain of command, taking orders and
choosing our battles and she will call him directly and tell him
she doesn't like what he expects and HE WILL AGREE WITH HER!
Every single time. Have I tried to call him on this? Sure.
And he responds with a lot of song and dance about why it was
okay for him to let her get away with this, but not me.
As for Eve, I am annoyed that the other branch managers got to
unload her on others and not have their competency called into
question. I am the last manager, so I am stuck with her like a
hot potato, I have backed her when patrons complained about
her attitude, I have made certain exceptions for her and another
staff member with small children, allowing them to bring their
kids to work when their babysitters and daycares failed them. I
only recently discovered that on days she comes in early, she
works for a few minutes, then disappears.
It's like playing whack a mole. Every time you get one bad
behavior nailed down, another one pops up. I can't win.
Example: After the whole staff of the entire library was
lectured by the current director regarding professional dress,
Eve showed up in an outfit that had been put on intravenously,
had lots of torn places showing lots of skin. It looked good on
her but it wasn't right for a library (or any other place but a
dance hall) I talked to her ("That outfit is gorgeous, wish I
had the figure for it, and if you wear it again, I will write
you up." She laughed and admitted that she knew she shouldn't
wear it but she was going from work to a celebration with
friends and didn't want to waste time going home to change.
Okay, I told her, that was perfectly reasonable for one day and
I just needed to make sure she understood. In ten minutes, I
returned to my office and there was a note from the assistant
director, asking me what the hell was going on. She had called
him and the director and screamed at THEM to stay out of her
business where clothes are concerned. The drama is insane.
Yes, I am afraid for my job. It will be humiliating to be the
only employee of 30 years who gets bumped back to starting
position. It will be horrific to lose my job completely. I can
retire, but the city I work for is desperately trying to whittle
away at government employees' pensions and benefits. Plus, I
have a mortgage, a car loan and massive credit card debt I am
working hard to bring down. I had given myself two more years
to get out of there, but if I won the lottery today, I would
just give them a call (I am on vacation) and tell the boss to
fry ice and good luck.
Come to think of it, that would be awfully satisfying. I think
of this man as a friend, but he has become more and more of a
political schmoozer as time goes by.
It is simply exhausting and demoralizing to always be in the
wrong no matter what I do.
#Post#: 11314--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: Two Ravens
Date: August 12, 2018, 4:16 pm
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This woman screamed at your boss and you’re not allowed to fire
her?
Start polishing your resume. She’s going to drag you down with
her, and you seem to be powerless to stop it.
(And incidentally, you totally left her off the hook. She told
you she knew she was flouting the dress code, and you just told
her not to do it again ??? You should have sent her home, or at
least made her cover up.)
#Post#: 11320--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: Aleko
Date: August 13, 2018, 3:06 am
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--- Quote ---
> She laughed and admitted that she knew she shouldn't wear it
but she was going from work to a celebration with friends and
didn't want to waste time going home to change. Okay, I told
her, that was perfectly reasonable for one day
>
--- End Quote ---
But it wasn't. It was blatant defiance of the dress code,
recently emphasised to you all, and she knew it. (Also, wholly
unnecessary: she could have taken her party clothes to work in a
bag and changed before going to the party, like every sensible
person who doesn't want to waste time going home to change.) She
was challenging you to behave like her boss, and you didn't. You
should have told her to go home and come back dressed properly,
unless she had something that would cover it all up. And you
should have formally written her up, or marched her to your own
boss on the spot.
#Post#: 11321--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: Jem
Date: August 13, 2018, 7:33 am
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I have so many questions! I don’t understand what your job is,
or what Eve’s job is. I also don’t understand why you worked
“entry level” for thirty years!?!?!!! Or why you are “the last
manager” stuck with Eve? I also don’t understand why informing
your boss about your staff meetings is a negative thing.
One thing I do know is that a supervisor/manager does not need
to be a “badass” or able to tell people to go to hell. I don’t
understand where that concept is coming from.
#Post#: 11334--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: VorFemme
Date: August 13, 2018, 12:10 pm
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Get a one-size-fits-none "librarian smock" or apron "to protect
their clothing" and hand it to people to wear over their
clothing if it is unsuitable for work that day. I'd suggest a
white lab coat type of thing, but that might look good on some
of them. Find something that looks acceptable will protect their
clothing from dust & such in the stacks, but makes them look in
the mirror and wish they'd worn something businesslike that day.
The coverup should be suitable for work...possibly painters'
overalls might work.
Possibly a fabric with books printed all over it? Or newsprint?
The only fabric I have in my stash is an upholstery weight
tapestry that would not make a good apron or a good smock...and
would be hard to move in if I made it into overalls..
#Post#: 11338--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: August 13, 2018, 1:02 pm
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--- Quote from: Aleko link ---
>
> [quote] She laughed and admitted that she knew she shouldn't
wear it but she was going from work to a celebration with
friends and didn't want to waste time going home to change.
Okay, I told her, that was perfectly reasonable for one day
>
--- End Quote ---
But it wasn't. It was blatant defiance of the dress code,
recently emphasised to you all, and she knew it. (Also, wholly
unnecessary: she could have taken her party clothes to work in a
bag and changed before going to the party, like every sensible
person who doesn't want to waste time going home to change.) She
was challenging you to behave like her boss, and you didn't. You
should have told her to go home and come back dressed properly,
unless she had something that would cover it all up. And you
should have formally written her up, or marched her to your own
boss on the spot.
[/quote]
Yes, I think you dropped the ball here. And I think you might
need to steel yourself to be always firm, and also FIRST go to
your boss and say, "I am going to start insisting this woman
follow the rules. I am telling you in advance so you can be
prepared for us to present a unified front. We both know that
she runs over my head, and I can't hold her to any standards if
she finds out that's successful.
"You want me to get her in line, so I'm going to need you to
back me up. And I thought you could use this phrase with her."
In other words, instead of calling him out AFTER he chickens
out, rope him in BEFORE you start.
Also--get your interaction with her into writing, and onto
official forms if they exist, before she gets a chance to
complain to him.
Never cut her any slack. At all. Every misstep goes into
writing.
It's a lot of work. But you're going to have to do it.
And the moment she runs behind your back, punish her in some
way--make her do all the scut work, and stand and watch while
she does. Make her job less enjoyable, with less freedom, in a
way that you can say, "hey, what? I'm making her do her job."
(and your boss is an ass)
#Post#: 11349--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: August 13, 2018, 2:49 pm
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Why do you say this person can not be terminated? She flaunts
the rules and actually sounds abusive to other employees if she
is screaming at your boss.
I agree that you completely messed up on the dress code. You are
telling her she can do what ever she wants as long as she makes
up a good excuse.
I think it's time you did a 3 month development plan with her.
Go to HR and explain the issues you've had. Tell them you want
to have her work a plan during the 3 month program. Focus on the
things she is doing wrong:
Ignoring dress code
Being insubordinate to management
....
Tell her any and all infractions will be noted
Then start taking detailed notes where if they choose to demote
you, then you have the ammunition to show you were doing your
job, but it was your supervisor who was allowing her to get away
with havoc and not backing you up when yo tried to reprimand
her.
#Post#: 11389--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: Hanna
Date: August 14, 2018, 11:23 am
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Your boss is a bigger problem here than your employee. Sounds
like he is afraid of her.
I would be telling my boss that I need his support in order to
manage her effectively.
#Post#: 11502--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: August 16, 2018, 6:55 am
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OP, I don't get it. One one hand, you say your job will 'never
ever' allow Eve to be fired. Yet on the other hand, management
are threatening you with the sack, or demotion, if you don't
pull Eve into line. That... does not compute. Why is Eve such a
protected class? And why are you (apparently) so vulnerable?
If it's true that your workplace's culture is such that poor
performers never get fired, could it be that your supervisor's
threats to demote/fire you is just bluster?
If it's not bluster, and your job is truly on the line (but
Eve's is not?), your options are going to be limited, I'm
afraid. Short of finding a new job, is there anything else you
can do to Eve? Eg, write her up? Put her on a performance plan?
Demote her? Reprimand her? Dock her pay (especially if she's
leaving early)? You need to find out exactly what your
management will allow you to do.
And if they truly allow you to effectively do nothing, I agree
with posters who suggest looking for another job.
#Post#: 11517--------------------------------------------------
Re: Fasten Your Seatbelts, It's Gonna be a Bumpy Night--Update
sort of
DIR By: Jem
Date: August 16, 2018, 1:50 pm
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OP I am really struggling to figure out what is going on here.
Why did you work in an “entry level” position at a library for
thirty plus years AFTER being a supervisor in publishing? You
say that when you were a supervisor in publishing you never had
a problem with it – what happened to make you think that you
needed training, classes, etc. when you were finally promoted at
the library (after thirty years) when you had prior experience
as a supervisor? Regardless of whether Eve is correct in her
criticisms of you, she should not be bad mouthing anyone to
patrons – why is this not being addressed? Why is Eve not
allowed to be fired but you have been told you are about to be?
You say your boss told you Eve wants a transfer, but “my boss
doesn’t really want to transfer her because no one else wants
her, either.” Um….what? This is completely illogical. Have you
directly asked whomever your boss is what is expected of you,
and what is expected of Eve and everyone else in her position?
The way this was presented I have absolutely no idea what your
job description is, or what Eve's job description is, or whether
your perception of the varying levels of job security for you
and Eve is accurate. Can you clarify what it is you do, and what
Eve does? Also, I am just fascinated that you stayed in an ENTRY
LEVEL JOB for thirty years - how could it still be entry level?
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