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#Post#: 10803--------------------------------------------------
Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: GfMama Date: August 6, 2018, 5:18 pm
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My mil has 4 grown children. Three are married with kids. Two
have a wife that works outside the home. I’m a stay at home mom
and run a home based small business.
The two moms that work outside the home fill up their kids
summer with different day camps. Each year (I’ve been around for
9), they’ll each have one week that their child isn’t in camp
and it always works out that it’s the same week as each other.
So mil runs “grandmas summer camp” for the grandkids. She also
does”grandmas day camp” on p a days. Really cute right? I think
so. My son has NEVER been invited.
True facts: 1. I don’t “need” babysitting done (it might be
nice to have a day off once though)
2. Mil can invite and not invite anyone that she pleases to her
home as she’s a grown lady and that’s her right.
My problem isn’t that my sons not invited. My problem is she
TELLS my son that she had grandmas summer/day camp and all the
kids but him came. He’s getting to the age that he’s starting to
feel bad about not being invited.
It’s not just these babysitting days either. Mil, the 2 sil and
all the kids went to the zoo. They all arranged it, talked about
it right in front of me and son, but didn’t invite us along!
True fact: 1. There is no issue between mil and I that I know
of.
So I was all set to talk to her this summer, letting her know
that it’s her right to invite certain grandkids and not others
but could she stop rubbing it in my sons face (telling him.
Sorry. Bit pa right there).
And then her husband died. So I feel like if I bring this up I’m
being a big fat meanest to a grieving widow and why did I do
that.
Please help!!!!!!!
#Post#: 10805--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: Jem Date: August 6, 2018, 5:31 pm
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Have your DH talk to his mother.
#Post#: 10806--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: GfMama Date: August 6, 2018, 5:33 pm
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Dh doesn’t have issues with it. To him, mil is telling son
things and just having a conversation. He thinks son cries
because he’s spoilt and shouldn’t expect to have everything that
other kids have.
#Post#: 10810--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: Jem Date: August 6, 2018, 5:46 pm
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You have a DH problem then.
What are the ages of the cousins? Are the SILs the MIL DILs or
daughters? I would ask that your son be included, assuming your
son is not like 2 years old while the others are 12–14.
#Post#: 10814--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: GfMama Date: August 6, 2018, 5:55 pm
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Son 1/wife 2 kids aged 11 and 5
Son 2/wife 2 kids aged 9 and 6
Son 3/me. Son is 4.5 (the one kid is literally 4 months older
than my son). In each couple the older child is male, the
younger is female, my son is male
#Post#: 10815--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: GfMama Date: August 6, 2018, 5:57 pm
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Sorry, the sister in laws are daughter in laws like me.
#Post#: 10818--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: kckgirl Date: August 6, 2018, 6:18 pm
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Oh, man, that is a huge DH problem! A kid is not spoiled to feel
left out when he *is* left out.
#Post#: 10819--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: jazzgirl205 Date: August 6, 2018, 6:24 pm
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Something's up and I don't know what it is. Is your son willful
or hard to control? Are you and your son different in some way
from the rest of the family (I'm Catholic and my inlaws treated
it like some exotic subculture)? Are you raising your son very
differently from the way the other children and your dh was
raised? If your child has a lot of different rules than the
others, perhaps your mil is uncomfortable with that. Even so,
she shouldn't be telling a 4.5 yo what he missed. It's
troubling that your dh isn't concerned about a child so young
getting his feelings hurt.
#Post#: 10822--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: Hanna Date: August 6, 2018, 6:41 pm
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I’d give her the benefit of doubt until proven wrong. My first
thought is it’s his age, and that a 4.5 year old only child is
more difficult to take along than a 5 year old with an older
sibling. (Having an older sibling meant my neice was more mature
at that age than her older big brother had been.)
I’d just plainly tell her that he feels sad when he hears about
fun things she did with the other grandkids when he was not
invited along, so it would be best not to mention these outings.
#Post#: 10824--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mil leaves one grandchild out consistently
By: GfMama Date: August 6, 2018, 7:37 pm
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They are actually catholic while I am just run of the mill
Christian lol. That did bring a lot of confusion into their
house but my son is catholic and goes to catholic school. I’m
also different in that I’m divorced once (but so is dh). I’ve
just normal rules.
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