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#Post#: 10750--------------------------------------------------
3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby Show
er)
By: CamelliaHouse Date: August 6, 2018, 10:58 am
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My partner received a group email invitation to a 3-in-1
celebration from a friend. My partner and this friend are not
particularly close; I have met the friend once or twice and have
never met his wife.
The group email invites attendees to celebrate three milestones:
a housewarming, the friend's birthday, and the impending birth
of the couple's first child.
The invitation asks us to RSVP via a hyperlinked form. Food and
drink will be provided. The couple has also provided a link to a
gift registry for their baby, "at the request of several
friends." The invitation is clear that a gift is not obligatory.
Finally, the couple mentions that support for new parents is
welcome - "if you would like to help out after the birth please
let us know ;)."
I'm not particularly bothered by this invitation, except for the
fact that it's a group email with a subtle request for gifts.
I'm not planning on going, as I barely know this couple, but I'm
curious what others think of this invitation?
#Post#: 10754--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby
Shower)
By: Hmmm Date: August 6, 2018, 11:09 am
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I'm ok with a 3-1 celebrations, but no, you don't get to host
your own baby shower.
If friends requested info about a gift registry, they could send
the link to those who requested.
If people want to assist with helping out after the baby, people
will volunteer. I don't think they need to be prompted.
#Post#: 10784--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby
Shower)
By: Pattycake Date: August 6, 2018, 2:04 pm
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I am okay with the housewarming/birthday party, but "to
celebrate the impending birth" is a baby shower and you don't
throw your own, no matter what you call it. In spite of the
indication that they don't want gifts, it sure doesn't come
across that way when they add the gift registry information. I
think the request for volunteers after the birth should have
been made separately, or just with the people that might be
likely to help out.
#Post#: 10847--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby
Shower)
By: Aleko Date: August 7, 2018, 3:21 am
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I'm 100% with Hmmm and Pattycake on this one. Throw the party by
all means, but don't even mention presents unless people ask.
And touting for volunteer help is just crass; everybody knows
that a new baby is a lot of work, and any friend who actually
would like to help out with her/him will certainly offer.
Assuming that this is the USA, I think they shouldn't even have
mentioned the baby at all. A housewarming and a birthday are
plenty enough excuse for a party, and they could have announced
the impending birth (or just toasted, if it's already common
knowledge) at the party itself.
In Rightpondia we don't (yet - I dare say the day will come)
equate the celebration of any life event 100% with an ironclad
obligation to give presents, so over here if I received an
invitation to a party "to celebrate three milestones: a
housewarming, a birthday, and the impending birth of our first
child' it wouldn't necessarily occur to me that I was expected
to bring anything except my good wishes; so it would be
perfectly legit to mention the baby. (In fact some good friends
of ours expecting their first child invited all their friends to
a party, saying on the invitation that after the birth they
didn't expect to be able to throw a grown-up party for all their
friends again for quite some time, so they wanted to have us all
over to their house before parenthood engulfed them. Nobody at
all took this as a hint that presents were expected, let alone
that it was a 'shower'.
#Post#: 10897--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby
Shower)
By: DaDancingPsych Date: August 7, 2018, 1:23 pm
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=588.msg10847#msg10847
date=1533630079]
I'm 100% with Hmmm and Pattycake on this one. Throw the party by
all means, but don't even mention presents unless people ask.
And touting for volunteer help is just crass; everybody knows
that a new baby is a lot of work, and any friend who actually
would like to help out with her/him will certainly offer.
Assuming that this is the USA, I think they shouldn't even have
mentioned the baby at all. A housewarming and a birthday are
plenty enough excuse for a party, and they could have announced
the impending birth (or just toasted, if it's already common
knowledge) at the party itself.
In Rightpondia we don't (yet - I dare say the day will come)
equate the celebration of any life event 100% with an ironclad
obligation to give presents, so over here if I received an
invitation to a party "to celebrate three milestones: a
housewarming, a birthday, and the impending birth of our first
child' it wouldn't necessarily occur to me that I was expected
to bring anything except my good wishes; so it would be
perfectly legit to mention the baby. (In fact some good friends
of ours expecting their first child invited all their friends to
a party, saying on the invitation that after the birth they
didn't expect to be able to throw a grown-up party for all their
friends again for quite some time, so they wanted to have us all
over to their house before parenthood engulfed them. Nobody at
all took this as a hint that presents were expected, let alone
that it was a 'shower'.
[/quote]
I agree with the others.
I am from the US (but by no means the end all to this). I think
it would be ok to mention the baby as one of the three
milestones, but I would not use the word "shower". And I would
not include the registry or even mention gifts. To me, that's
where it crosses into baby shower territory and makes me feel
like I need to bring a gift and yes, suddenly the couple is
throwing their own shower. I think that the invitation could be
worded in such a way that it is clear that there are three
milestones, but that this is really just a get-together and not
a gifting opportunity. Even if they have this milestone party
(minus the mentions of gifts), that they could even still have a
baby shower... hosted by an appropriate person, of course.
#Post#: 10951--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby
Shower)
By: GardenGal Date: August 7, 2018, 5:39 pm
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I'm also in the U.S., and I find the idea of adults throwing
themselves a birthday party to be ridiculous. The housewarming
part of the invitation is fine, but the other 2 events, which
many people here think of obligatory gifting occasions, is
uncalled for.
As for adult birthday parties that are hosted by the birthday
person themselves - if you want to throw a party for your
friends and/or family, that's delightful. Just don't call it a
birthday party once you're over 21. It's different if your
friends want to make a party for you, but doing one yourself
just seems like a gift crab.
#Post#: 10986--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby
Shower)
By: CrazyDaffodilLady Date: August 8, 2018, 5:11 am
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My first thought was whether guests could get away with just one
gift, or if they needed to bring three: couple gift for
housewarming, adult gift for birthday, child's gift for baby
shower.
It's great that the couple is willing to throw a big party and
are providing food and drink, but they chose to publicize that
three gift-giving occasions were the reason for the party. I'm
pretty sure they're expecting gifts, and a lot of them.
I'd decline the invitation unless I knew the hosts very well --
well enough that I would've have given them housewarming and
baby gifts even without the party.
#Post#: 11006--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby
Shower)
By: Hmmm Date: August 8, 2018, 9:52 am
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[quote author=CrazyDaffodilLady link=topic=588.msg10986#msg10986
date=1533723086]
My first thought was whether guests could get away with just one
gift, or if they needed to bring three: couple gift for
housewarming, adult gift for birthday, child's gift for baby
shower.
It's great that the couple is willing to throw a big party and
are providing food and drink, but they chose to publicize that
three gift-giving occasions were the reason for the party. I'm
pretty sure they're expecting gifts, and a lot of them.
I'd decline the invitation unless I knew the hosts very well --
well enough that I would've have given them housewarming and
baby gifts even without the party.
[/quote]
Oh, it would never occur to me to bring 3 gifts!
If I were invited to this party, I'd most likely bring a
housewarming type gift. I would not bring a baby gift as that
turns it into a baby shower and I'm against self hosted showers.
I also seldom give adult bday gifts except to relatives or close
friends. And then I give those in private, not a a party where
other guests might then feel they should have brought a gift.
#Post#: 11019--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby
Shower)
By: Aleko Date: August 8, 2018, 12:11 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I've honestly never heard of housewarming presents. And if
somebody I knew invited me to help celebrate their birthday - as
a neighbour of mine did just last month - unless they were a
close enough friend that I normally give them a birthday present
anyway, I wouldn't bring one; just a card. And so would most
other people I know. So in the UK, for an adult to celebrate
their birthday isn't seen as a gift grab, just a good excuse for
a party.
#Post#: 11042--------------------------------------------------
Re: 3-in-1 Celebration Invitation (Housewarming, Birthday, Baby
Shower)
By: Bada Date: August 8, 2018, 4:25 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote]The couple has also provided a link to a gift registry
for their baby, "at the request of several friends." The
invitation is clear that a gift is not obligatory. Finally, the
couple mentions that support for new parents is welcome - "if
you would like to help out after the birth please let us know
;)."[/quote]
This first part of this I could see myself doing before finding
BM&B/eHell. It's easier to send the registry at the same time
to everyone, so they did that instead of the more time consuming
PM's, figuring it was OK since they said no one needs to bring a
gift. Bad form, but like I said, I'd probably have done it back
in the day too.
However, the push to get people to volunteer to help after the
baby is born is wrong and bad and super tacky and...blech. If
people want to help, they'll let you know without any prodding
and winky faces.
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