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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 10306--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kicking out a bridesmaid... and having it go viral.
By: TootsNYC Date: August 1, 2018, 4:32 pm
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Heck, just add another bridesmaid if you don't have enough
people to make it feel like a party!
#Post#: 10382--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kicking out a bridesmaid... and having it go viral.
By: AfleetAlex Date: August 2, 2018, 12:41 pm
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I want to see a picture of this jumpsuit.
#Post#: 10383--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kicking out a bridesmaid... and having it go viral.
By: Twik Date: August 2, 2018, 12:43 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=573.msg10291#msg10291
date=1533152934]
I really wanted to side with the bride on this. However, after
reading her letter I just couldn't. While she tried to do this
is a nice way, her ultimate failing to me is she has fallen into
the trap of seeing her wedding party as "supporting cast
members" to her "Big Life Event Starring Role".
Did she pick her bridesmaids because she values her friendship
and wants them with her during her wedding. Or did she pick a
group of people she thought would be there to fawn over her
during her showers, bachelorette weekend, and entire wedding
weekend. Obviously, it is the second sense she kicked out the BM
because she is not participating in all events. She is placing
her desire to have her BM's at all events over how she values
her friendship with this woman.
Maybe if this friend is 1 of 2 of her bridesmaids, maybe I could
see her point. However, even then, I doubt the plans were to
have a bachelorette weekend with just BM's invited and not other
friends participating.
[/quote]
I was reading another advice column recently, where the
letter-writer wanted to know, as a bridesmaid, did she have to
give a gift, after spending thousands on her dress, travel to
the resort, and multiple "bachelorette weekends" that involved
travel and hotel stays. She felt bad not doing what the bride
wanted, but pointed out that she was spending significantly more
on her bridesmaid's duties than she was spending on her own
upcoming wedding as a whole. (She was doing basically an
elopement because, ironically, she was trying to pay off her
student loans.) The bride was in the same situation, but was
taking a "it's my day" approach.
I think this is pretty telling. If you're spending for multiple
weekends out of town at hotels, not to mention the costs of
"activities," this is going to quickly become more than the
average working person can afford. Just because you see the
Kardashians having bachelorettes in Bali doesn't mean that
everyone gets to do so.
#Post#: 10384--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kicking out a bridesmaid... and having it go viral.
By: Two Ravens Date: August 2, 2018, 12:46 pm
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[quote author=AfleetAlex link=topic=573.msg10382#msg10382
date=1533231669]
I want to see a picture of this jumpsuit.
[/quote]
Apparently bridesmaids in jumpsuits in a Thing. I had no idea.
HTML https://www.marthastewartweddings.com/614692/chic-bridesmaid-jumpsuits
#Post#: 10385--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kicking out a bridesmaid... and having it go viral.
By: VorFemme Date: August 2, 2018, 12:55 pm
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I learned, when these were fashionable a few years ago, that
stripping down to my bra in the bathroom could get a bit chilly.
Seriously - no matter how cute these look while they're being
worn, they are a major pain in the bathroom. Not to mention the
potential for disaster if the blasted zipper gets stuck. I had
one that the zipper pull came off and I ended up trashing the
jumpsuit (at least it came off at home, where I could change
clothes). It does not matter where the zipper gets stuck (open,
shut, half way, or where ever - it's going to be a problem -
unless you have a change of clothes in the same room with you).
#Post#: 10906--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kicking out a bridesmaid... and having it go viral.
By: AfleetAlex Date: August 7, 2018, 1:54 pm
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Okay, I can see some of those looking cute on thin tall
bridesmaids, but I've, um, got a tummy and am short. I'm afraid
I would just look roly-poly! :D
#Post#: 12836--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kicking out a bridesmaid... and having it go viral.
By: JessTer Date: September 1, 2018, 3:49 pm
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The posts about Susan-from-Canada who cancelled her wedding
after trying to beg for money and failing has been the subject
of debate about whether it's real. To be honest, the same
question crossed my mind about this story...part of me wondered
if the parties staged it to try out for a reality show or "be
discovered" by reality TV or something like that. While that
sounds cynical, there is also a part of me that would prefer
that explanation over a real feud happening.
I guess I tend to be kind of an extremist, even by our
standards, in responding to bride expectations, even the ones
that are traditionally kind of accepted. In response to
"attendants don't like the dress I picked out / can't agree on a
dress" kind of complaints, I would question why everybody has to
wear the same dress or even buy something completely new. And I
don't think the marrying couple is owed lots of pre-wedding
events or that every attendant has to be there for all of them.
About the only thing I think really SHOULD be expected of
attendants is that they're available for the wedding day itself.
And, if an attendant promises to be there for something, and
then backs out, or worse, just doesn't show - I get being miffed
about that, even if the event wasn't an entitlement to begin
with.
I think maybe my standards were set high on this because my
brother picked a certain friend as his best man, knowing full
well that guy would have a conflict with the rehearsal. (Brother
and sister-in-law were college sweethearts; Best Man was a high
school friend who went to a different college, and his
graduation was the day of the rehearsal.) Brother really wanted
HIM, particularly, as Best Man.
While I sometimes question why we always have rehearsals - does
that mean we're treating it too much like a show - I know
different religions/cultures/groups have different kinds of
ceremonies and such, so I can see it may be necessary to go over
things or just set up the day before. If that's the case, I
could see not wanting to have someone in the real ceremony who
wouldn't be able to have the benefit of having gone over it.
I would hope, though, that a bride or groom could figure those
things out before choosing the attendant in cases of scheduling
conflicts, rather than having to "kick them out" later - and if
not, I wish these people would discuss these things face to
face, and starting more like, "Hey, I notice you have a lot of
other things going on - are you sure you're going to be able to
make it to my wedding?" I think the thing that would bother me
most is choosing to make this kind of thing public.
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