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#Post#: 10820--------------------------------------------------
Re: a guest who rearranged the table setting
By: jazzgirl205 Date: August 6, 2018, 6:34 pm
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He's done this in two separate houses. Different floor plan,
different furniture. Thanks for the info. It was getting on my
nerves but I didn't know if I was being weird. It's nice to
know that it would bother other people, too.
#Post#: 10823--------------------------------------------------
Re: a guest who rearranged the table setting
By: Hanna Date: August 6, 2018, 7:36 pm
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[quote author=jazzgirl205 link=topic=569.msg10556#msg10556
date=1533343889]
I have a friend who always sits at the head of the table when we
invite him to dinner. Always. He sits in the place where dh
should be sitting. It bothers me more than I'd like to admit.
I never say anything, though because it just seems petty to be
that picky. If he only did it a couple of times I could just
think he was grabbing a random seat, but , since it is all the
time, he has to be doing it on purpose. I mean, who sits at the
head of the table in someone else's house? I'd feel silly using
placecards because it is usually just 3 to 5 people in a casual
setting. I really feel guilty for letting it get to me, but,
c'mon.
[/quote]
I would say something if someone took my SO’s place at the head
of the table. You are in the best position to do that without it
being a big deal, “Oh Joe, that’s DH’s place, please sit here
instead.” That seems much nicer than if your DH tells him to
move.
I hope he’s not intentionally trying to undermine your husband
in his own home. I wonder though, because only someone living
under a rock wouldn’t know this is rude.
#Post#: 10828--------------------------------------------------
Re: a guest who rearranged the table setting
By: Sycorax Date: August 6, 2018, 8:05 pm
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My guess is that he's clueless more than anything else. He
thinks, "I prefer the end of the table, so I'll sit there",
without considering that he's in someone else's house.
#Post#: 10902--------------------------------------------------
Re: a guest who rearranged the table setting
By: DaDancingPsych Date: August 7, 2018, 1:37 pm
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I see two sets of rules here.
1) Pure Etiquette Law: One should sit where assigned and not
move things around. I assume that there might be an etiquette
loop hole where one could ask the host/ess (with good reason) to
be moved.
2) Friends/Family Norms: Make yourself comfortable. My friends
do not throw formal dinner parties dictated by the law of
etiquette. So, had the OP made a fuss, my friends would have
thought strangely. If you don't like your seat, get a new one!
However, I think that this is a "know your group" kind of thing.
If I was not a close friend of the host/ess or had not
previously attended parties, I would have assumed that I should
follow etiquette. Also, if I am assigned a seat, to me, that's a
huge hint that I should follow etiquette, too.
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