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#Post#: 9424--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: Jem
Date: July 23, 2018, 7:04 pm
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--- Quote from: TootsNYC link ---
>
> [quote] I am confused how any plans got made if the OP does
not have or use a cell phone.
--- End Quote ---
In a face-to-face conversation? I'm confused how you're
confused.
The world made plenty of plans long before the days of cell
phones.
[/quote]
Sure, by now plans are generally made and altered and confirmed
using quick texts. I may make plans face to face to do something
next Wednesday night, but I generally confirm the plans a day or
so before to make sure nothing has changed. Here, apparently
something changed since Don was late.
#Post#: 9426--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: guest725
Date: July 23, 2018, 7:34 pm
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There is another way of communicating besides face to face or
text--phone calls.
#Post#: 9427--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: Jem
Date: July 23, 2018, 7:47 pm
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--- Quote from: puppylove link ---
>
> There is another way of communicating besides face to face or
text--phone calls.
>
--- End Quote ---
Of course there is. But many (most?) people are able to
communicate in various ways from wherever they are at any given
time using a cell phone. Obviously the OP can choose not to have
one. But even when I am involved in groups that communicate via
email or Facebook or whatever we can communicate if there is a
glitch in plans at any given time using our cell phones. We
don’t need to be face to face or have access to a landline or
home computer.
#Post#: 9432--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: OnyxBird
Date: July 23, 2018, 8:48 pm
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--- Quote from: Jem link ---
>
> [quote author=puppylove link=topic=546.msg9426#msg9426
date=1532392469]
> There is another way of communicating besides face to face or
text--phone calls.
>
--- End Quote ---
Of course there is. But many (most?) people are able to
communicate in various ways from wherever they are at any given
time using a cell phone. Obviously the OP can choose not to have
one. But even when I am involved in groups that communicate via
email or Facebook or whatever we can communicate if there is a
glitch in plans at any given time using our cell phones. We
don’t need to be face to face or have access to a landline or
home computer.
[/quote]
Yeah, cell phones can be great, but it has little bearing on
this specific situation:
They were all at the OP's home, where the OP's phone is, for 30
minutes between when they were supposed to meet and when they
were supposed to leave. The OP was probably home earlier than
that, since she was expecting guests. If Don had her phone
number and needed to inform her of a delay or glitch, he could
have used his own cell phone to call her landline at whatever
point he realized he was going to be late, which should have
been well before they left since he was already 30 minutes late
by that time. The OP's lack of a cell phone did not cause this
problem. The problem was caused by the fact that Don and the OP
did not have each other's contact information, that Marie was
being childish, and that the OP was being over-careful not to
interfere in Marie and Don's relationship issues (letting Marie
seize too much control over the gathering).
In fact, one could argue that cell phones actually contributed
to the problem. If Don hadn't counted on Marie's cell phone as a
way to contact the group, he would have been more likely to get
the OP's number in advance in case something came up. If the OP
had not assumed that Don could get in touch with them through
Marie (not knowing the phone was off) and that Marie was the
most convenient channel to get in touch with Don due to their
cell phones, then it would have been obvious that she needed to
either try to contact him herself or to decide, as the host, how
long they would wait for him (i.e., whatever she would have
tried in the same situation before cell phones were ubiquitous).
Whereas the only thing that would have been "fixed" by the OP
having a cell phone was possibly enabling Don to catch up to the
group after he showed up 40 minutes late, which would have been
a fairly minor "band-aid" on the whole situation.
#Post#: 9433--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: July 23, 2018, 8:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Jem link ---
>
> [quote author=puppylove link=topic=546.msg9426#msg9426
date=1532392469]
> There is another way of communicating besides face to face or
text--phone calls.
>
--- End Quote ---
Of course there is. But many (most?) people are able to
communicate in various ways from wherever they are at any given
time using a cell phone. Obviously the OP can choose not to have
one. But even when I am involved in groups that communicate via
email or Facebook or whatever we can communicate if there is a
glitch in plans at any given time using our cell phones. We
don’t need to be face to face or have access to a landline or
home computer.
[/quote]
I object to the amount of emphasis you are putting on whether
the OP has a cell phone. It's clear you don't approve--but it's
not the question at hand, and it's not your business.
Cell phones can be expensive, and people may not like having
that level of connectedness. Other people don't like the
electromagnetic waves.
And it doesn't matter what their reason is, and it doesn't
matter whether you approve.
#Post#: 9445--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: browzer11
Date: July 23, 2018, 11:52 pm
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TootsNYC ...
1- "Other people don't like the electromagnetic waves".
Seriously?
2- "And it doesn't matter what their reason is, and it doesn't
matter whether you approve.".
No need to be nasty. Tone it down a bit.
#Post#: 9455--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: July 24, 2018, 7:35 am
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I am not a fan of dinging the OP for not having a cell phone. It
sounds like all the plans were made and confirmed without the
aid of a cell phone. While I may (or may not) have handled the
situation differently, none of this was the OP's fault. Marie
was acting like a child and Don was late. No cell phone was
going to change those two things.
For what it's worth, I own a cell phone (in fact, I do not have
a land line phone.) However, I come from the generation when
plans were made without the use of a cell phone, so I much
prefer to have everything worked out and not have to rely on
working the last minute details with it. Sure, it is extremely
helpful when communicating any traffic issues or arrivals, but
even if those are not communicated, I just try to be patient and
know that everything will work out in the end... even if that
means that someone late is left behind.
A personal story that made me wish I did not have a cell phone.
This past weekend an out of town friend was visiting my city.
About a month beforehand, she had announced that she was
visiting that weekend, so I marked it on my calendar and tried
to keep it free. On Thursday, friend finally decided that
Saturday dinner was the time she had available for me. (So, I
could finally free up my Saturday morning and Sunday.) Saturday
morning rolled around and she selected a meeting location
(across town, about 30-45 minutes from me), but no time was
selected. So, at 5pm, I decided to drive across town (I could do
some shopping errands while I waited for friend to finish being
with family.) I got dressed and was walking out the door when I
got the text that 7pm would work. So I had an hour to kill at
home (I suppose I could have still done the shopping.) I get to
the meeting place early (I'm always early) at 6:30pm and receive
a text that she's going to be late... 7:30pm. So, I am sitting
in my car killing some time. I go into the bar about 7:30pm and
get a seat when I receive the test that she will be closer
8:00pm, which is when she arrived. While I fully acknowledge
that I could have stepped in at any point and not allowed these
constant adjustments (I was flexible because this is a good
friend and I knew she was trying to juggle a lot of visits with
people), but this would have never happened before cell phones.
We would have set a time and that would have been it... and I
would not have lost several hours of my day. So yeah... there
are times I want to throw my cell phone out the window! :P
#Post#: 9459--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: Pattycake
Date: July 24, 2018, 7:46 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: browzer11 link ---
>
> TootsNYC ...
>
> 1- "Other people don't like the electromagnetic waves".
>
> Seriously?
>
> ...snip
>
--- End Quote ---
This is true! I actually know someone who wouldn't even put the
earbud IN his ear so as not to have the phone up by his head -
he engineered a thing on a stick to hold the earbud close to his
ear!
#Post#: 9460--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: July 24, 2018, 7:48 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I don't understand all of the emphasis on the cell phone access
either. The only way a cell phone could have helped would be so
that the OP's DD could have contacted her when Don showed up.
But really, it was just luck that the DD was home at all and
shouldn't be seen as a solution on how the OP could have handled
the situation.
Going back and re-reading, it sounds like the OP and George met
Marie and then was introduced to Don. Event was discussed and
Don showed the most enthusiasm.
Marie showed up "sans" Don and instead of acting like an adult,
chose to bring her relationship drama into the outing. The OP's
only options were to either decide to view Don as an
independently invited guest and request his phone number so that
she could call before they left or view Don as an extension to
Marie and go along with Marie indicating Don had flaked out on
the event. (For some reason I see George as the habitually late,
Marie as always being frustrated by that and using this event as
a "teaching moment. Don was running late and Marie refused to
wait for him.)
Honestly, I probably wouldn't be spending too much more time
with Marie.
edited to fix George/Don confusion.
#Post#: 9471--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends in an argument when an event is planned
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: July 24, 2018, 8:47 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Hmmm link ---
>
> I don't understand all of the emphasis on the cell phone
access either. The only way a cell phone could have helped would
be so that the OP's DD could have contacted her when Don showed
up. But really, it was just luck that the DD was home at all and
shouldn't be seen as a solution on how the OP could have handled
the situation.
>
> Going back and re-reading, it sounds like the OP and George
met Marie and then was introduced to George. Event was discussed
and George showed the most enthusiasm.
>
> Marie showed up "sans" George and instead of acting like an
adult, chose to bring her relationship drama into the outing.
The OP's only options were to either decide to view George as an
independently invited guest and request his phone number so that
she could call before they left or view George as an extension
to Marie and go along with Marie indicating George had flaked
out on the event. (For some reason I see George as the
habitually late, Marie as always being frustrated by that and
using this event as a "teaching moment. George was running late
and Marie refused to wait for him.)
>
> Honestly, I probably wouldn't be spending too much more time
with Marie.
>
--- End Quote ---
Do you mean Don for most of these Georges?
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