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#Post#: 9219--------------------------------------------------
Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are Fair
By: Venus193 Date: July 21, 2018, 7:13 am
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This is a custom I really wish would go away but I doubt ever
will. While it's only July right now I don't think it's too
early to talk about what's acceptable, what isn't, and how to
influence change.
It's been a long time but my last company had a rule that the
spending had to be $35-50. It was a small company (35 peeps) so
you didn't dare not participate. When I posted about it on the
former forum there were some shocked reactions like "I don't
spend that much on my mother!" I had participated at previous
companies' Secret Santas (which were by department) but the max
amount was never as high. My last company was quite
dysfunctional with few boundaries, which probably drove up the
cost of participation.
What have been the rules of your company? What would you like
to change about them?
#Post#: 9222--------------------------------------------------
Re: Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are
Fair
By: Aleko Date: July 21, 2018, 8:07 am
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I worked for years in medical education in England & Wales:
there was no official policy about Christmas presents, but my
department really had it nailed. I'd recommend our custom to
everyone. It went like this:
- A few weeks before Christmas our office manager would email
round to let us know that Santa's sack was in her office and was
open for business. Over the next few weeks everyone would buy a
small suitable-for-anyone-of-any-gender gift (over a decade or
so the maximum value went up from "under £5" to "under £7.50"),
wrap it nicely, and find a moment to slip it unobtrusively into
the sack.
- Come the office Christmas lunch, the sack would be taken to
the restaurant, and after the meal someone would be appointed to
put on the Santa hat and dip into the sack, pulling out parcels
one by one and saying 'This is for Peggy! This one's for
Franco!" until everyone had received one (if you recognised it
as your own offering, you just said so and it was put back and
you were given another), and there would be a general opening,
with cries of 'Ooh, look what Tariq got!' and general merriment.
It was a really fun and festive ceremony, which cost each person
very little in cash and absolutely zero in angst about 'what on
earth should I get for Sally in Accounts who I hardly know?'.
Also, if two people fancied each other's gift more than their
own they could quite openly swap, since their own hadn't been
specifically intended for them in the first place. So what if
the present you took home wasn't worth a lot of money? I bet a
lot of people coerced like yourself into spending $35-50 often
didn't particularly like the expensive item they received.
So there's my two-pennyworth.
#Post#: 9226--------------------------------------------------
Re: Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are
Fair
By: vintagegal Date: July 21, 2018, 9:02 am
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I wish more places would do "adopt a family" instead of Secret
Santa. People who like to shop can still do so, it is in the
real spirit of the holidays, and no one gets stuck with
something they don't want. I am an adult, if I want something I
can buy it for myself. Getting a forced gift from someone who is
not close to me is not a big thrill.
#Post#: 9227--------------------------------------------------
Re: Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are
Fair
By: bigbadbetty Date: July 21, 2018, 9:48 am
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I wouldn't change a thing about the way my workplace does it
because we don't do it! I was in a different group (but same
division) many years ago. They did an optional ornament swap. It
was one of the white elephant/dirty Santa gift exchanges with
certain rules on stealing gifts that they explained as they went
along but were not clear upfront. I did not participate but I
watched. I thought it seemed awful and was really glad it was
optional. I had never heard of such a thing before. Some people
ended up with hurt feelings. It was not repeated.
#Post#: 9232--------------------------------------------------
Re: Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are
Fair
By: Aleko Date: July 21, 2018, 10:05 am
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[quote]Getting a forced gift from someone who is not close to me
is not a big thrill.[/quote]
To me neither, which is why I think the bran-tub approach with
stocking-filler-type gifts is so much better than giving
'serious' presents.
Another good way of treating Christmas presents: a friend of
ours holds an Unwanted Christmas Present Party every year at the
end of January, to which the price of admission is one unwanted
present, wrapped or unwrapped. These are given a number ticket
and piled on a table, and towards the end of the evening
everyone draws tickets and gets something to take home (or to
swap with someone for something you like better). Sometimes the
thing you go home with is no more delightful than the thing you
got rid of; but at least you had fun along the way, and it's
surprising how often you do get something you at least quite
like. I'd recommend it as a fun thing to do in January, which
can be a dreary month.
#Post#: 9233--------------------------------------------------
Re: Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are
Fair
By: Thitpualso Date: July 21, 2018, 10:08 am
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We never had a Secret Santa. What we did have was a drive to
collect unwrapped toys for a local charity. That worked out
well. We also gave gifts to our volunteers although not every
department did so.
There were people who exchanged gifts for the holidays but those
arrangements were personal and had nothing to do with the
anything official.
In my opinion, gift exchanges should always be strictly
voluntary.
#Post#: 9235--------------------------------------------------
Re: Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are
Fair
By: Rose Red Date: July 21, 2018, 10:24 am
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Current place does white elephant but completely voluntary. They
go into a private conference room so not to bother those who are
not interested, but people can still go watch.
I've also done secret Santa. We write three suggestions and the
limit is usually $5-10. I never heard of $35-50!
#Post#: 9237--------------------------------------------------
Re: Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are
Fair
By: Moose Date: July 21, 2018, 11:16 am
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We do Secret Santa here, but the max is $20 and no one is forced
to participate or looked down on if they don't. When you fill
out your slip, there are general questions like "favorite scent"
or "favorite food" or "hobbies" or general "Likes".
2 years ago, I got someone I didn't know very well (the Secret
Santa covers all 6 shifts over 2 squads) but her favorite scent
was Vanilla, so I got her a nice basket of stuff from Bath &
Body Works.
Last year, I got someone I knew well and ended up spending a
little over the maximum because I found something for him that
was perfect for a current hobby he had going on. Same with the
person who drew my name -- she gave me an Alex & Ani Harry
Potter bracelet that was over the $20 limit, but she said she
just "loved it" for me.
Everyone who participates enjoys it and if you didn't enjoy it,
then no one is required to continue to participate. I think
that is the best way to do it -- so those who enjoy it can still
have their enjoyment and those who do not don't feel pressured.
#Post#: 9243--------------------------------------------------
Re: Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are
Fair
By: Amara Date: July 21, 2018, 11:53 am
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I am aghast at the price range you mentioned. The lower end is
about I spend on my siblings. I would never, even at the cost of
my job, spend that at work. It's unbelievable.
One year my then-supervisor tried to get that going with the
office workers, some of whom were hourlies (with no benefits and
no guaranteed hours). It was a potluck lunch, which it appeared
everyone enjoyed, but the Dirty/Secret Santa was less
successful. My supervisor ended up taking home her own gift,
which was a nice bath/lotion set, and no one wanted mine, a nice
pair of royal blue/silver/black earrings, which surprised me. I
got a hand-knitted beanie cap which the person who had
originally received it from a friend didn't want and I threw it
in the trash can as soon as I got back to the office. (We are in
southern California.) It wasn't a bad idea, it just wasn't good.
If we had stuck to the lunch alone it would have been fun,
though I don't know if any of the hourlies were resentful of
spending their money that way either.
My feeling? Just stop it. Or make it entirely and wholly
voluntary with only those who genuinely want to participate,
participating in what they alone have chosen to do.
ETA: I have given thought at various times this year to
wondering if others at work would like to join me in hosting a
Giving Tree, that is, one of those trees to which people can
come and pick a card off the tree that has a wish on it from a
client served by the charitable organization. I've thought one
focused on low-income seniors would be fabulous since they are
often not thought of as much as children and/or families.
However, I have not brought it up because I have very strong
feelings about roping people into doing what they don't want to
do. It may or may not happen; I may do it by myself. I'll just
have to see.
#Post#: 9248--------------------------------------------------
Re: Secret Santa At the Office: How to Make Sure The Rules Are
Fair
By: iolaus Date: July 21, 2018, 12:43 pm
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I like the way we do it
We do £10 each (approx $13) each person who chooses to
participate gets drawn a name (we are a small unit under 30 of
us - not everyone joins in, some years I have (most) but I
didn't one year and noone said anything) and buys for that
person. You can go £1 or so over if you wish (but this tends to
be along the lines of it was £10.99 or they ignore the P&P) or
could go slightly under
Most of us know each other well enough to make a good guess at
presents, or will ask someone who knows that person well for
hints - and although plenty of people know who other people's
santa is everyone is quite good about not telling the actual
person
Before the names go out they are checked so that you won't have
the same person two years running (because once someone got the
same person 3 years in a row) and we have a mother and daughter
working with us and when one is randomly given the others name
it gets redrawn)
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