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#Post#: 9184--------------------------------------------------
How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: Mara Jade Date: July 20, 2018, 5:16 pm
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I recently bagged up a bunch of my daughter's old clothes, and
asked around if any of my friends wanted them. An old friend I
hadn't seen in a long time commented on my Facebook post that
she could use them, but she lived too far away. (About an hour
and a half.) I offered to swing by and drop them off.
My husband was out of town that weekend so I arranged to stop by
after lunch to give me something to do with the kids. Old Friend
gave me her address and cell phone number, and I updated her on
our ETA. (Travelling with a 6 year old and a 3 year old can be
somewhat... unpredictable.) At no time did anyone mention a
playdate, or when either of us needed to leave, etc.
I would up arriving around 3:30 or so, came in and sat down
(they had air conditioning! Yay!), and the kids seemed to be
playing reasonable well with each other. I confirmed it was okay
for us to stay for a bit.
I started to feel anxious around 5:30 or so. I didn't know what
time Old Friend and her family had dinner, and I didn't want to
seem like I was fishing for an invitation. Plus I had an hour
and a half drive home that I had to work around dinner for my
kids. So I started rounding up my kids (3 year old was starting
to act up anyways) and chase down their toys in preparation for
leaving. The entire time, Old Friend and her husband were
telling me not to rush, they were happy to have friends visiting
them, I could stay longer, etc. No mention of a dinner invite,
however. I wound up leaving around 6.
Was trying to leave before dinner a good instinct? Is two and a
half hours a good length of time for an impromptu play date? Is
it rude to ask, Hey, what time do you want us to leave?
#Post#: 9185--------------------------------------------------
Re: How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: NyaChan Date: July 20, 2018, 5:23 pm
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I think you left at a good time. You could have said that you
needed to get the kids home before bed time or something but
would love to get together another time if you were worried that
it would look like you didn’t want to spend time with them. 2.5
hours is about as much unexpected time as I’d be comfortable
risking, especially if they aren’t inviting you to dinner.
Perhaps they were sincere, perhaps they were being polite. But
I’d rather leave them with a promise to get together again than
overstay my welcome.
#Post#: 9186--------------------------------------------------
Re: How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: guest426 Date: July 20, 2018, 5:25 pm
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I think you were just fine, and did nothing wrong at all. You
were considerate of their needs/desires.
#Post#: 9190--------------------------------------------------
Re: How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: GardenGal Date: July 20, 2018, 6:37 pm
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I think you were fine, especially given how long it would take
you to drive home. Since they didn't invite you for dinner, and
they knew you had a long drive home, I suspect they were ready
to end the play date, too.
#Post#: 9229--------------------------------------------------
Re: How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: Thitpualso Date: July 21, 2018, 9:51 am
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The old adage is, ‘Come after breakfast, bring your own lunch
and leave before supper time’.
You were just fine. Also, we have to remember that you were
doing your friend a rather large favor by driving an hour and a
half to deliver the bag of clothes.
#Post#: 9245--------------------------------------------------
Re: How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: Hmmm Date: July 21, 2018, 11:57 am
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I agree that a 2 hour visit would seem reasonable. And I would
have also started planning to leave around 5:30. For me, with no
dinner invitation issued, I would want to leave by 6. I would
have taken the "oh, don't rush" as trying to be gracious. But
not mentioning dinner would be a clear indication that they were
not planning to entertain into the evening.
#Post#: 9295--------------------------------------------------
Re: How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: BunnyAndBandit Date: July 21, 2018, 10:25 pm
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Two hours is totally fine for an impromptu playdate! You had a
long ride home, it was near suppertime, your three year old was
ready to wrap it up. No dinner invite means they were probably
okay with you leaving honestly, even though it's cool to hang
out with friends.
#Post#: 9323--------------------------------------------------
Re: How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: July 22, 2018, 9:51 am
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I think your instincts (and actions) were spot on. Nicely
handled!
#Post#: 9391--------------------------------------------------
Re: How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: Mara Jade Date: July 23, 2018, 12:40 pm
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Thanks everyone!
#Post#: 9397--------------------------------------------------
Re: How long for an impromptu playdate?
By: TootsNYC Date: July 23, 2018, 1:42 pm
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I agree, I think your instincts were good. And if nothing else,
YOU needed to leave!
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