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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 9327--------------------------------------------------
Re: Feeling left out
DIR By: Thitpualso
Date: July 22, 2018, 10:55 am
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I sympathize with Wetkittennoses because I’ve been through the
same thing.
I can’t speak for men but, in some office cultures, the women
seem to have a sorority mentality. I encountered it when one
woman was getting married for the second time. There were three
women who had worked together for about 20 years. Even though I
had been working there for 7 years and supported her through her
divorce, I was the ‘new kid’ who hadn’t shared all their
experiences. It was also thought that I would be jealous of the
50 year-old bride so I was left out of the loop.
We’d call out for lunch and, when it arrived, the bride and her
friends would retire to an unused office, hand me my box and
lock the door in my face. It was my duty eat lunch alone at my
desk, man the phones for the library and a curatorial department
as well as see to the needs of any library visitors. I didn’t
get an afternoon break because there was n one to relieve me.
They stayed sequestered from noon to 4:15 PM and we closed at
4:30. This happened more than once. In their minds, it was just
right that I would do this because, ‘Poor Oblivious needs all
the support she can get and only we know everything she’s been
through’.
Yeah, right.
#Post#: 9335--------------------------------------------------
Re: Feeling left out
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: July 22, 2018, 3:14 pm
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--- Quote from: Thitpualso link ---
>
> I sympathize with Wetkittennoses because I’ve been through the
same thing.
>
> I can’t speak for men but, in some office cultures, the women
seem to have a sorority mentality. I encountered it when one
woman was getting married for the second time. There were three
women who had worked together for about 20 years. Even though I
had been working there for 7 years and supported her through her
divorce, I was the ‘new kid’ who hadn’t shared all their
experiences. It was also thought that I would be jealous of the
50 year-old bride so I was left out of the loop.
>
> We’d call out for lunch and, when it arrived, the bride and
her friends would retire to an unused office, hand me my box and
lock the door in my face. It was my duty eat lunch alone at my
desk, man the phones for the library and a curatorial department
as well as see to the needs of any library visitors. I didn’t
get an afternoon break because there was n one to relieve me.
>
> They stayed sequestered from noon to 4:15 PM and we closed at
4:30. This happened more than once. In their minds, it was just
right that I would do this because, ‘Poor Oblivious needs all
the support she can get and only we know everything she’s been
through’.
>
> Yeah, right.
>
--- End Quote ---
I would have brought this to the attention of my boss after the
first time, if I had managed not to knock on their locked door
long enough so they came out. How rude and unprofessional.
#Post#: 9338--------------------------------------------------
Re: Feeling left out
DIR By: Thitpualso
Date: July 22, 2018, 4:26 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
The problem was that the BTB was my boss and she was also the
treasurer of our union. There was no one to whom I could
complain. We didn’t have an HR department in the early 1990s.
After a few episodes the head curator of the neighboring
department had had enough of their receptionist disappearing for
entire afternoons. After that, things were decidedly frosty but,
at least, the ladies made a pretense of working.
#Post#: 9349--------------------------------------------------
Re: Feeling left out
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: July 22, 2018, 10:02 pm
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wetkittennoses, I'm so sorry this has happened. They've behaved
poorly. I'd proceed in a friendly and professional manner and
wouldn't expect to make friends with them.
--- Quote from: Thitpualso link ---
>
> I sympathize with Wetkittennoses because I’ve been through the
same thing.
>
> I can’t speak for men but, in some office cultures, the women
seem to have a sorority mentality. I encountered it when one
woman was getting married for the second time. There were three
women who had worked together for about 20 years. Even though I
had been working there for 7 years and supported her through her
divorce, I was the ‘new kid’ who hadn’t shared all their
experiences. It was also thought that I would be jealous of the
50 year-old bride so I was left out of the loop.
>
> We’d call out for lunch and, when it arrived, the bride and
her friends would retire to an unused office, hand me my box and
lock the door in my face. It was my duty eat lunch alone at my
desk, man the phones for the library and a curatorial department
as well as see to the needs of any library visitors. I didn’t
get an afternoon break because there was n one to relieve me.
>
> They stayed sequestered from noon to 4:15 PM and we closed at
4:30. This happened more than once. In their minds, it was just
right that I would do this because, ‘Poor Oblivious needs all
the support she can get and only we know everything she’s been
through’.
>
> Yeah, right.
>
--- End Quote ---
As a "sorority girl" I have to take exception to the phrase, no
one welcomes new pledges like alumni or the "older sisters" in a
house and the implication of cliquishness to outsiders isn't
true, IME.
#Post#: 9412--------------------------------------------------
Re: Feeling left out
DIR By: bopper
Date: July 23, 2018, 3:24 pm
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I had a friend, Betty, who had a friend Wilma. We all had girls
the same ages. I wasn't friends with Wilma but would see her if
Betty had a party or whatnot.
So one time Wilma was having a birthday party for her daughter,
Pebbles.
I was not aware of this, and my DD was not invited, as our kids
were really not friends.
But I ran into Wilma at the grocery store or something and just
did some usual chitchat.
But suddenly she says that Pebbles is having a birthday
party,...and she should invite my DD.
Sure! I say.
But she never does invite her. I think she felt guilty at the
time (why I am not sure) and then blurted it out...but
then later decided that is not what she wanted to do.
#Post#: 9414--------------------------------------------------
Re: Feeling left out
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: July 23, 2018, 3:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Thitpualso link ---
>
> The problem was that the BTB was my boss and she was also the
treasurer of our union. There was no one to whom I could
complain. We didn’t have an HR department in the early 1990s.
>
> After a few episodes the head curator of the neighboring
department had had enough of their receptionist disappearing for
entire afternoons. After that, things were decidedly frosty but,
at least, the ladies made a pretense of working.
>
--- End Quote ---
Wow, what a rotten office situation for you.
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