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#Post#: 9003--------------------------------------------------
How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: nuit93
Date: July 18, 2018, 3:30 pm
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Backstory: there was a woman in my community who found herself
asked to no longer be a part of it early last year due to her
behavior (scamming money, harassing people, making them feel
generally uncomfortable, etc).
Fast forward to about three weeks ago when I found a post on my
FB feed indicating she'd been bothering people in other
communities and escalating her behavior (assault, outright
stealing, things of that nature). A friend of a friend made
several public posts about it and encouraged people who'd been
victimized by this woman to come forward.
Would it be appropriate for me to reach out to the
friend-of-a-friend and say "I believe you, and hope her victims
get the justice they deserve"?
#Post#: 9007--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: Jem
Date: July 18, 2018, 3:53 pm
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Were you personally victimized? I am unclear by what you mean by
"a member of my community." At any rate, I think you can
certainly reach out to the friend of a friend, but if you do not
have direct personal knowledge it may be better to reach out to
the people you know were victimized and encourage them to talk
with the friend of a friend.
#Post#: 9008--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: nuit93
Date: July 18, 2018, 4:07 pm
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Myself, no. Others who loaned her money have gotten to a point
where not getting it back was a small price to pay for not
having to deal with this individual again.
#Post#: 9010--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: jpcher
Date: July 18, 2018, 4:27 pm
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--- Quote from: Jem link ---
>
> Were you personally victimized? I am unclear by what you mean
by "a member of my community." At any rate, I think you can
certainly reach out to the friend of a friend, but if you do not
have direct personal knowledge it may be better to reach out to
the people you know were victimized and encourage them to talk
with the friend of a friend.
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes. Information coming from a victim has more impact than from
someone saying "I heard it from a friend who heard it from
another"
I wouldn't jump on the rumor bandwagon. Encouraging the victims
that you personally know to come forward with information would
be the way to go . . . assault? outright stealing? Why haven't
the victims reported this woman's actions to authorities
already?
#Post#: 9011--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: lakey
Date: July 18, 2018, 4:38 pm
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If she has assaulted people and stolen from people, it is up to
them to respond to it. They can report her to the authorities or
they can warn others. I would stay out of it. When someone's
behavior is as bad as you describe people figure out quickly
that they don't want to be around that person. You don't need to
get mixed up in it.
#Post#: 9018--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: July 18, 2018, 6:12 pm
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Does this FOAF seem to need the support? If not, I'd probably
just stay out of it.
#Post#: 9029--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: ladameestmorte
Date: July 18, 2018, 8:09 pm
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--- Quote from: jpcher link ---
>
> Yes. Information coming from a victim has more impact than
from someone saying "I heard it from a friend who heard it from
another"
>
--- End Quote ---
I am no doubt showing my age when I say that now I have an REO
Speedwagon song running through my head.
"Heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it
from another you'd been messing around..."
#Post#: 9036--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: Aleko
Date: July 19, 2018, 4:23 am
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--- Quote ---
> A friend of a friend made several public posts about it and
encouraged people who'd been victimized by this woman to come
forward.
>
> Would it be appropriate for me to reach out to the
friend-of-a-friend and say "I believe you, and hope her victims
get the justice they deserve"?
>
--- End Quote ---
It would be a whole lot better and more helpful to listen to
what the FOAF actually asked for - people who have been
victimised coming forward. You are in a position to help with
that by contacting the people you know who have been victimised
by her and sending them a link to these public posts. Then it's
up to those people to decide whether they want to share their
experience with the FOAF and get involved. As I understand your
post, you have no direct experience of her bad behaviour: so
anything you might tell the FOAF is just hearsay, and not
useful.
#Post#: 9067--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: July 19, 2018, 1:54 pm
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I don't think you've got a dog in this fight, so I'd stay out of
it.
#Post#: 9075--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to say "I hear and believe you"?
DIR By: oogyda
Date: July 19, 2018, 2:43 pm
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After 3 weeks, I'd leave it alone.
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