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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 9103--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: jpcher
Date: July 19, 2018, 4:45 pm
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OP -- I had to re-read your opening post. Now I am also
confused! ;)
--- Quote from: IWish link ---
>
> My mom attended a wedding of a young couple a few weeks ago
and of course sent a nice gift. (snip)
>
> We are confused as to whether this is a new custom to thank
all guests for attending the wedding and a separate TY note for
the gift will be forthcoming. Or, is this "the" TY note for the
gift? If it's the former I think it's a sweet gesture (although
maybe one started by the stationary companies. :D)
>
--- End Quote ---
If it is the green in bold (italics are mine) -- I do think
that's a rather nice additional touch although I've never heard
of this before (but it's been years since I've attended a
wedding). Since it's only been a few weeks maybe this is a way
of immediate thanks and I would, hopefully, think that a
formal/personal TY for the gift will be coming soon.
Reading your update, I'm thinking that if it is the TY for your
mom's gift? Then it is so woefully wrong.
Wait a couple of weeks before being overly upset about this. But
I do strongly understand why this left a bad taste in her mouth.
Maybe I'm just a positive thinker and hoping that a TY for
attending the wedding is not the same thing as a TY for the
gift.
Curious side note -- did your mom enjoy attending the wedding?
#Post#: 9110--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: silversurfer
Date: July 19, 2018, 5:53 pm
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Attempting quoting! Please stand by
--- Quote from: Writer of Wrongs link ---
>
> I mentioned on the old board that one year I made blankets for
all the nieces and nephews for Christmas. During the unwrapping,
one of the nieces clearly loved her blanket. Her mother said,
"Do you know who that's from?" The little girl paused, then,
eyes widening, said, "Santa?!" Her mother said, "Yes." That was
probably 8-9 years ago, and I honestly don't know if the child
knows to this day that I made the blanket. The thing was, she
was excited and would certainly have thanked me if her mother
had corrected her. But apparently cool gifts have to be from
Santa. (This is the same (now ex) SIL who never acknowledged
carefully chosen gifts herself, so it wasn't a total shock. ;)
)
>
>
--- End Quote ---
I snipped the quote and bolded it just to say, Writer of Wrongs,
that cause me pain to read! how did you react at the time? I
would have wanted to kill your SIL.
#Post#: 9112--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: July 19, 2018, 6:32 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Aleko link ---
>
> [quote]I feel that if it a genuine thanks for a gift or a
favour, that can be in whatever form you want (card, phone call,
in person, etc).
--- End Quote ---
This! I've really no patience with people who insist that thanks
can !!!ONLY!!! properly be conveyed on paper inside an envelope.
If somebody has opened a parcel in my presence and said 'I love
it! That's really generous and thoughtful of you! Thank you,
thank you so much!', I consider myself totally thanked, and it
seems bizarre to demand that they should later write the same
sentiments down and post them to me. And if they open it not in
my presence and put their gratitude in an email, I consider that
in every way equivalent to a letter. It's the message ('I
express my thanks and appreciation to you personally for your
specific gift to me') that is important, not the medium. And
that's why these TY circulars are so wrong - they are all medium
and no message.
[/quote]
Years and years ago, on another forum, a quilter complained that
she'd never received a thank-you note from the bride to whom she
had given a quilt. A quilt she had put so much time and love
into, so much attention, etc.
Then she told the story:
She'd made the quilt and wanted to present it, so she invited
the bride and groom over to her house for dinner. They had a
lovely dinner, and the quilter said the couple had thanked her
so much.
After dinner, she presented the gift. The bride was stunned
(per the quilter's report). Her groom was impressed. The bride
gushed about how much she loved it (per the quilter); her groom
said they'd treasure it always (per the quilter). Before they
left for the night, the bride gave her a big hug and thanked her
again (per the quilter's story to us).
Two days later, the quilter ran into the bride and a mutual
friend somewhere in town. The bride told the mutual friend about
the lovely quilt, and how much work had gone into it, and how
they'd treasure it (again--per the quilter).
The bride's mom called the quilter to tell her how much her
daughter loved the quilt (per the quilter), and to express her
own appreciation.
At the wedding, the bride introduced her, to the maid of honor
in the receiving line, as the woman who had made for her that
lovely quilt (per the quilter); the MoH mentioned how touched
and impressed the bride was.
Yet--now it was easily 6 months later, and she had never
received a thank-you note. She KNOWS the bride liked it--and yet
the bride couldn't be bothered to write her a note of thanks. So
that's the last time she's going to do anything for that
ungrateful person!
#Post#: 9139--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: Aleko
Date: July 20, 2018, 1:45 am
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Toots, I do hope the other members of the forum pointed out that
the bride had thanked her multiple times?
#Post#: 9140--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: vintagegal
Date: July 20, 2018, 7:10 am
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As a quilter, I would be ecstatic if I got thanked that many
times!!
#Post#: 9159--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: Bottlecaps
Date: July 20, 2018, 11:45 am
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And to think, I put up with hand cramps writing all those
tedious thank you notes when I could have just had a printing
company shoot something like this out! /s
I received something like this from someone once. I love the
person from whom I received it dearly, but how lazy. It's not
that hard to write a few personal lines of thanks to someone who
took the time and money to attend your wedding and give you a
gift. I guess it's better than no thank you at all and it seems
that this is the current trend, but hopefully this trend doesn't
stay!
#Post#: 9169--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: IWish
Date: July 20, 2018, 2:17 pm
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Jpcher, my mom corrected me in that she received this card 4
months after the wedding (not a few weeks as I initially
stated.) Based on that info, I'm pretty sure that it is the one
and only TY she will receive for the gift. And she did enjoy the
wedding and was honored the student remembered her in such high
regard.
#Post#: 9180--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: jpcher
Date: July 20, 2018, 3:37 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: IWish link ---
>
> Jpcher, my mom corrected me in that she received this card 4
months after the wedding (not a few weeks as I initially
stated.) Based on that info, I'm pretty sure that it is the one
and only TY she will receive for the gift. And she did enjoy the
wedding and was honored the student remembered her in such high
regard.
>
--- End Quote ---
Thanks for the correction. No worries! ;) but 4 months without
any kind of thank you makes a big difference. I have to wonder
how many people (family, close friends) said to the couple "Uh,
when am I going to get my TY note?" You know, hinting that the
couple should send them out already. I'm betting the couple then
saw one of these pre-printed forms and thought "This is the way
to go! Weeeeee! No work for us!"
I believe that you can confidently tell your mom that the couple
was extremely rude.
On the bright side -- I'm glad your mom was able to get out and
enjoy herself. [emoji1]
#Post#: 9199--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: jazzgirl205
Date: July 20, 2018, 8:14 pm
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The people who send these kind of TY notes probably don't send
any kind of TYs any other time. No TYs for gifts, invitations
to parties, favors, someone treating them to dinner, a surprise
birthday gift. Wedding are baby shower TYs are all they do
because they are supposed to.
#Post#: 9367--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this TY card a new "thing" or a bad way to do
the old "thing"?
DIR By: RubyCat
Date: July 23, 2018, 8:57 am
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We all lead very busy lives and I really do understand if ty
notes fall through the cracks. None of us are perfect. They do
make an impression, though.
I attended a very fancy party that celebrated milestone
birthdays for two members of the same family. I gave a gift to
each honoree. I promptly received in the mail one of those
preprinted thank you cards - one preprinted card from both. I
have to confess that I was a little disappointed.
I recently received a thank you note for a wedding Dh and I
attended almost a year ago. It was hand written and clearly a
lot of thought was put into it. They also included a couple of
photos of taken of Dh and me with other guests. It was so
thoughtful and I was so impressed.
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