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#Post#: 8444--------------------------------------------------
Invading my personal space
By: stonecoldnegan Date: July 12, 2018, 9:39 am
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Hi all! I'm sorry if this topic has been done to death on the
other board, I'm just really at a loss how to deal with this in
a polite, professional manner.
BG/I have a new boss, and she can be quite over-bearing. She's
the mirco-managing type (think: re-arranging my items on my
desk, has me completely re-do our entire filing system so it can
be the same as it was at her old job), I've been pretty good at
biting my tongue and not try to hold onto my usual routine but
everyone at the office is getting pretty fed up of her nit-picky
ways (I'll stop here before it becomes a rant haha)End B/G
The problem is: if I'm working on something, she will stand over
my shoulder and watch me work, sometimes for up to 15-20 minutes
at a time..I find it really distracting and
uncomfortable..Imagine she gives me some text to format into an
info-letter, and she watches me do the page layout (while quite
literally breathing down my neck, she has no sense of
boundaries), while saying things like “Yup, just move that over
there. Are you gonna move that column to the right? I think this
image should go there....” Or she'll watch me as I'm typing, and
say each word out loud as I'm typing it in a sing-songy voice
“Toooooo......whoooom...iiiitttt.... maaaayyy..concern...”
I'm really not used to this hands-on approach to management and
it all seems so over the top (I miss my old boss who trusted my
competence and allowed me to work in peace). Is there a way to
politely ask her to stop standing over my shoulder while I'm
working? I've tried saying things like Did you need my help with
something? (she just says Nope! And stays in place).
I understand that as my boss, she is allowed to watch me work, I
just wish she didn't stand so close to me.. I don't know how to
ask for my personal space without offending her..HELP!
#Post#: 8447--------------------------------------------------
Re: Invading my personal space
By: TootsNYC Date: July 12, 2018, 9:56 am
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I think you can say, a bit regretfully, "I'm sorry, I'm finding
this distracting. Let me work it up, and I'll bring it to you
for input."
I put editors' corrections into files, sometimes with them
watching. They want to read me the words, and I can't type well
that way. I'm a blazingly fast and accurate touch typist (or at
least, I used to be), and I need the words to enter my fingers
through my eyes. (I'm also fast when it's coming from my brain
to my fingers. But if the words are coming in my ears, it's
awkward to process, mentally)
So I interrupt them and take the paper away from them and put it
where I can see. And then I say, nicely, "Shh, let me..."
Just keep saying, "This is distracting, could I just do it
myself and then bring it to you for input after?"
#Post#: 8449--------------------------------------------------
Re: Invading my personal space
By: Hmmm Date: July 12, 2018, 10:02 am
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I think you need to speak up and say that it's unnerving to you
to have her standing over you. Would she like you to re-arrange
your desk so she can pull up a chair and sit beside as you
collaborate on document layout. Or suggest you get a second
monitor to hook up on your computer that can be turned toward
her and she can watch and comment as you are working.
I would also say in a very friendly voice "I'm sorry, but it's a
little distracting having you repeat everything I type. It makes
me almost retype what you are saying. Would you mind letting me
finish and then I'll send to you for your review? I'm sure you
have more important things to do than watch me type."
#Post#: 8452--------------------------------------------------
Re: Invading my personal space
By: TootsNYC Date: July 12, 2018, 10:21 am
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I think you can also say, "I promise, you can trust me to pull
together the preliminary version for you to look at. I'm good at
this, honest I am."
#Post#: 8458--------------------------------------------------
Re: Invading my personal space
By: stonecoldnegan Date: July 12, 2018, 11:13 am
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I really love all of your responses!!! Thanks! I have a hard
time communicating with her because every time I try to explain
why things are done a certain way here, she takes it as a
confrontation and shuts down into “my way or the highway, I'm
the boss” mode..
I'm gonna try to mention that it's distracting and that it slows
down my productivity (that will convince her haha). I like the
idea of a seperate monitor as well, lets hope its in the budget
:-)!
#Post#: 8459--------------------------------------------------
Re: Invading my personal space
By: Hmmm Date: July 12, 2018, 11:51 am
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[quote author=stonecoldnegan link=topic=523.msg8458#msg8458
date=1531412016]
I really love all of your responses!!! Thanks! I have a hard
time communicating with her because every time I try to explain
why things are done a certain way here, she takes it as a
confrontation and shuts down into “my way or the highway, I'm
the boss” mode..
I'm gonna try to mention that it's distracting and that it slows
down my productivity (that will convince her haha). I like the
idea of a seperate monitor as well, lets hope its in the budget
:-)!
[/quote]
I have some advice on that too. Don't try and explain the
current methodology. Just agree and then ask about changes
things that will need to occur to support her request. For
example:
Her: I want you to begin sending out the daily reports by noon
each day.
You: Of course. Would you like me to include a note to all
recipients on the first report letting them know that daily
reports will now be based on close of business 2 day's prior
instead of one day prior? We normally do not get previous day's
numbers from accounting till noon each day so they wouldn't be
included. Or I can ask the accounting department if they'll
modify staff schedules to have a 6am start time so that the
numbers can be compiled by 10am each day and be available for
the daily report.
Or
Her: I want you to start putting the corporate logo on the top
right of the page instead of the top left.
You: Of course. Since this template is corporate approved, do
you want me to reach out to them prior or do you want to proceed
without corporate communications approval?
#Post#: 8460--------------------------------------------------
Re: Invading my personal space
By: stonecoldnegan Date: July 12, 2018, 12:25 pm
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[/quote]
I have some advice on that too. Don't try and explain the
current methodology. Just agree and then ask about changes
things that will need to occur to support her request. For
example:
Her: I want you to begin sending out the daily reports by noon
each day.
You: Of course. Would you like me to include a note to all
recipients on the first report letting them know that daily
reports will now be based on close of business 2 day's prior
instead of one day prior? We normally do not get previous day's
numbers from accounting till noon each day so they wouldn't be
included. Or I can ask the accounting department if they'll
modify staff schedules to have a 6am start time so that the
numbers can be compiled by 10am each day and be available for
the daily report.
Or
Her: I want you to start putting the corporate logo on the top
right of the page instead of the top left.
You: Of course. Since this template is corporate approved, do
you want me to reach out to them prior or do you want to proceed
without corporate communications approval?
[/quote]
This is gold! I'm absolutely going to start employing this way
of explaining things..Always start by saying yes of course but
give her a choice that explains the repercussions.. This is
going to help me alot!! :-D
#Post#: 8462--------------------------------------------------
Re: Invading my personal space
By: QueenFaninCA Date: July 12, 2018, 1:21 pm
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Snarky me might ask her if it wouldn't be more efficient for her
to do it herself instead of her watching me do it. Because right
now you are wasting two person's time on a task that only
requires one person.
#Post#: 8464--------------------------------------------------
Re: Invading my personal space
By: Hanna Date: July 12, 2018, 1:26 pm
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She must have an insane amount of patience to just stand there
watching for that long!
Is there a readily available conference room? If so while she
is standing over me, I would ask "Should we grab a conference
room and use the projector so we can collaborate on this more
easily?"
If that didn't work I might try saying things like "I do not
work well with someone standing over me. It makes me nervous.
Could I make the changes you've requested and bring them over to
you to check?"
and also even "I'm one of those people with a large personal
space bubble. Nothing personal Ann, but it really makes me
uncomfortable."
I'd also probably take a bathroom break after about 5 minutes.
"Sorry, I need to run to the ladies."
Ultimately, I could not work for or with someone that behaves
this way, so I would be having a frank conversation with her
pretty quickly. Sorry you are dealing with this. It's not you!
#Post#: 8465--------------------------------------------------
Re: Invading my personal space
By: HenrysMom Date: July 12, 2018, 1:46 pm
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Sorry you’re going through this - I’ve been there and it’s a
royal pain.
What I did was to do as much work as I could on
concentration-heavy things at times I knew she’d be out of the
office (which was a good portion of the day), then when she was
in the office and breathing down my neck, work on housekeeping
things, like ordering supplies, etc., or some task that let me
leave my desk. If she wanted something done, I’d do it as quick
as I could just to get her out of my hair. I would also
familiarize myself with her schedule, so if she was hanging over
me, I say “oh, isn’t it time for your 3:00 appointment?” These
worked, most of the time.
In my particular case, it did no good to ask her to back off,
she’d just flounce off and tattle to my manager, who did not
have my back. It was to the point that I wondered if she had
pictures of them with goats or something. I ended up quitting
because of her.
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