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#Post#: 8133--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: guest725 Date: July 8, 2018, 7:59 pm
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I think this is very well stated and completely true. That said,
though, from what the OP has described I think that this might
be more of a sociopathic attention-grab more than anything else.
Honestly, I would ignore her and watch how things develop
Sociopathic??? I think you are way out of line. Where the hell
did you get that idea?
#Post#: 8139--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: LurkingGurl Date: July 8, 2018, 10:31 pm
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I think the word she may have been looking for is pathological.
#Post#: 8145--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: Nikko-chan Date: July 9, 2018, 12:17 am
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Yeaaaah this... is not gender fluid. Gender fluids tend not to
change THAT often. I have a friend named "Alexandra". She is
gender fluid. In chat she has a green heart by her name. Green
basically means "I don't give a flying fig what you call me."
Sometimes it changes to blue which basically signals to everyone
in chat to call her Alex. If its a pink heart we call her
Alexandra.
Alexandra usually however remains gender neutral, and we can
call her Alexandra or Alex depending on what is quicker to type.
If she has a "boy" day as she refers to them, then we respect
that and call her Alex. Nothing changes in her voice or
anything. Its not theatrical. Its literally based on her inner
feelngs/emotions that day.
This.. doesn't sound like that... at all. Though I will ask my
friend about it tomorrow.
Modifying to say: I talked to friend and sometimes gender fluids
are like that, changing personalties and the like, and they can
change personalities every ten minutes, similar to what GN is
doing. Especially when they first realize they are genderfluid.
I would sit down with GN and have a conversation with her. And
as another poster suggested ask her if she has a name that she
can use as a gender neutral nickname if she would prefer it if
it would be easier for her. Try to see her perspective. If she
IS genderfluid coming out was probably hard. Be respectful, kind
and loving. Respect who she is in that moment, and you might
just be the Aunt she comes to with all of her problems.
#Post#: 8154--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: Aleko Date: July 9, 2018, 6:44 am
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If any of my brother's children tried that on me, I would simply
demand that he/she come up with some form of address that
covered both personae which I would undertake to use. If he/she
refused and insisted that I keep track of minute-by-minute
changes of name I would say, 'Listen, cookie: I have had the
same not-at-all-odd personal name all my life and even so I've
had friends and co-workers who couldn't remember it right. If
you insist on everyone who knows you learning two different
names and how to judge when you want them to use which, you are
going to have a very hard and lonely life. Think on! In the mean
time, I'm going to call you "Steveschild". If you don't like
that, think of something better.'
#Post#: 8155--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: LifeOnPluto Date: July 9, 2018, 6:47 am
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[quote author=Thitpualso link=topic=511.msg8103#msg8103
date=1531063176]
In my limited understanding of gender fluidity, the person is
still the same person. We’re all mixtures of male and female.
It’s just that in these folks, one gender predominates at any
given time.
I’ve only seen this once but, in the case of GN, she changes
like a character with multiple personalities in a film. It’s
quite theatrical. The voice and the posture changes. This is
what makes me wonder if it’s a , ‘Hey! Look at how unique I
am!’ Ploy. GN loves to ‘scare the squares’ and she’ll probably
move on to something else once the shock effect wears off.
Thanks to everyone for good, solid and sensitive advice.
[/quote]
This does sound quite odd to me (but granted, I don't know much
about gender fluidity). If I were you OP, I think I'd just
ignore the posture/voice change, and carry on the conversation
as before.
I also like the idea of asking her if there's a gender-neutral
nickname you could call her by. I don't think it's fair of her
to start the evening as "Jill", then halfway through swap
gender, and react badly if you keep on calling her Jill and not
Jack (if that's what she's doing). I don't think it's fair of
her to expect you to be a mind reader.
#Post#: 8186--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: MrsG Date: July 9, 2018, 10:32 am
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[quote author=puppylove link=topic=511.msg8133#msg8133
date=1531097976]
I think this is very well stated and completely true. That said,
though, from what the OP has described I think that this might
be more of a sociopathic attention-grab more than anything else.
Honestly, I would ignore her and watch how things develop
Sociopathic??? I think you are way out of line. Where the hell
did you get that idea?
[/quote]
I said sociopathic because of the OP's description of the
narcissism involved with the subject. There's narcissistic
personality disorder where a person thinks they're IT. Then
there's the narcissism associated with sociopathic behavior
where the person thinks they're brilliant, thinks their feces
doesn't stink, they know that there are rules but they don't
believe that they apply to them personally, they feel their
persona captures and controls others so they constantly
manipulate others in an attempt to maintain that control and
they honestly don't see how they are perceived by others. In
the past five years alone I've had more than one patient with
these presenting issues - in two different states no less. Not
all behaviors are the result of drama, nor are they innocent.
What the OP described does not sound innocent in the least. It
sounds like the subject is appropriating terms and behaviors
that has no business touching on in attempt to draw attention to
herself - that is beyond histrionic and narcissistic, in my
personal and professional opinion, that's sociopathic behavior
that should be watched. jmo
#Post#: 8188--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: MrsG Date: July 9, 2018, 10:34 am
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[quote author=Mary Sunshine Rain link=topic=511.msg8139#msg8139
date=1531107108]
I think the word she may have been looking for is pathological.
[/quote]
No, I said sociopathic and I meant it. No doubt there's
pathological behaviors there but they're part of something
bigger that may or may not ultimately be a problem for the
subject in the long run, I think that's rather obvious from the
description.
#Post#: 8190--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: LurkingGurl Date: July 9, 2018, 11:44 am
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While it may be within bounds to suggest that someone's behavior
seems to point to some kind of mental illness, actually
diagnosing that person is unethical. Even more so if you are a
mental health practitioner.
Perhaps we should stick to the etiquette of the situation.
#Post#: 8209--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: Despedina Date: July 9, 2018, 2:23 pm
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I guess I don't quite understand this constant changing. I
completely understand someone who becomes self aware enough to
say they are more the sex opposite of what they are born with
and change, but not flip flop back and forth. That just seems
like attention grabbing. It made me think of my daughter's
friend who was female by birth but announced she identified as a
male. Everyone was ok with that and we referred to "him" as
such. Then about 6 mos later he told my daughter he identified
as a dragon. I'm NOT kidding. He demanded to be called some sort
of made up pronoun I cannot remember. My daughter thought he was
joking and Mr. Dragon got angry and ended their friendship. I
think there just has to be some sort of line.
#Post#: 8212--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Blending?
By: Thitpualso Date: July 9, 2018, 2:26 pm
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Yes!
Psychiatric diagnoses are not what we should be doing here and,
a few posts back, I thanked those who provided helpful hints on
how to deal with a teen drama queen. I hoped that would be the
end of the discussion. I still hope the discussion will end.
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