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#Post#: 7986--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: Dr. F. Date: July 6, 2018, 2:21 pm
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It's not just public spaces - wedding parties can be weirdly
entitled to spaces, even if they're private.
I used to work in a place similar to Thitpaulso (hope I spelled
that right!). We were a private museum that had several acres of
gardens. We had specific times the gardens were open, though no
admission fee. The number of people - wedding parties, prom
parties, graduation parties, etc. etc. - I had to turn away from
the gate as I was leaving at 6PM (when we closed at 5:30PM) was
ASTONISHING.
"We're closed."
"But we NEED to come in to take pictures. It's our WEDDING!!!"
"Sorry, we're closed. The hours are clearly posted."
"But it's our WEDDING!"
"Did you ask permission or discuss this with anyone?"
"No. You have to let us in, it's our WEDDING!!! You're so RUDE!
I'm going to complain to your manager!"
"You knock yourself out with that." (My boss at the time was the
CEO. He was 100% supportive.)
Apparently, because we didn't charge admission to the gardens,
they had to be open 24/7 for anyone to come in for any reason,
and getting married means that you can ignore any and all rules.
This didn't change until we started charging admission. That
caused other snowflakes, but at least the wedding photo
snowflakes shut up.
#Post#: 8083--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: BunnyAndBandit Date: July 7, 2018, 9:02 pm
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She could have moved, but she was under zero obligation to do
so. When you take pictures in a public space, that's the risk
you take. The train station in my town is very popular for
having prom and wedding pics taken. You don't have to ask, but
it IS a real working train station, so there will be people
waiting for their train. You can ask them to move, but they sure
don't have to.
It would have been polite to move, but it wasn't rude not to
move. I think it's rude to march up and tell someone they're
ruining your picture so they need to move.
It reminds me of the time I was riding the city bus. I'd found
my seat and was sitting quietly, when a daycare group crowded
onto the bus. One of the two adult workers stared at me for a
second and said "You REALLY need to move. There are too many
kids for me to keep track of."
Excuse me? 1. I do not have to move and 2. That is not how you
ask. I did move, but I was angry about it the whole time. If she
had politely asked if I would have minded moving, I would have
smiled and complied. No need to make demands. If you can't keep
track of all the kids, don't take them on the bus, or have a day
care van. Super simple stuff.
#Post#: 8094--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: Venus193 Date: July 8, 2018, 8:07 am
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[quote author=baritone108 link=topic=449.msg7807#msg7807
date=1530762357]
The photographer can easily remove that sunbather from the
photos with Photoshop. It's much ado about nothing.
[/quote]
This.
#Post#: 8126--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: Tea Drinker Date: July 8, 2018, 5:37 pm
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If "half of Torquay" gets their wedding photos taken there, I
wonder what would have happened if the sunbather had moved, and
then a second wedding party had shown up after Party A's
photographer had taken only a third of the photos they had in
mind. Would they have expected that wedding party to wait
"because we were here first?" or offered to hurry so the second
party could get photos without another bride in it. Did they
even consider that possibility?
Also, it's "photobombing" if I deliberately get into your photo.
Maybe if I walk behind without seeing you, or just keep going
down the sidewalk while you're trying to take your tourist
photo. It's not "photobombing" if I'm already there, minding my
own business, and someone decides they want to set up a photo
shoot around me.
That's part of what has me sympathizing with the sunbather
rather than the wedding party--they and/or the person who wrote
the story are acting as if they were minding their own business
and she was deliberately trying to ruin their photos, or get her
picture on the web, or something. She was there first, doing
something else; it would have been generous of her to move, but
her prioritizing what she wanted (to sunbathe on a public beach)
over what they wanted (photos on a popular beach without anyone
else visible in them), just as they were prioritizing what they
wanted, doesn't mean she was sunbathing at them. or cared about
being in their photos.
#Post#: 8152--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: Aleko Date: July 9, 2018, 6:23 am
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I'm also with the sunbather. All the quotes from the wedding
party suggest strongly that on seeing her there they simply took
for granted that she was obligated to move for their
convenience. E.g. one of the bridegroom's relatives told the
press: "We all spotted her there and thought she would move, but
she just didn't. I thought 'how rude!'.
The bridegroom's son said that (presumably after the sunbather
had failed to leap spontaneously to her feet, apologise for
being somewhere they wanted to monopolise for photography,
gather up her belongings and scuttle away) "I went up to her
and asked her to move and she pretended to be asleep." Well yes,
I think that if these people had poled up and started to
organise their photoshoot all around me, taking for granted that
I would scuttle away without being asked, I would be irked
enough to stay put too. We have no way of knowing whether he
asked her nicely and respectfully, but given the general tone of
the wedding party I suspect he may well not have done. But even
if he did ask civilly, my reaction might well have been - like
that sunbather's - "Too little, too late, sunshine."
#Post#: 8170--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: DaDancingPsych Date: July 9, 2018, 9:06 am
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[quote author=NFPwife link=topic=449.msg7888#msg7888
date=1530816887]
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=449.msg7868#msg7868
date=1530811375]
[quote author=Thitpualso link=topic=449.msg7834#msg7834
date=1530798129]
There were people who wanted a picture of ‘little sweetums’
sitting smack in the middle of a hill of daffodils. A picture
standing on the path was fine. One sitting in the middle of the
bed was verboten. I don’t know how often I had to chase people
out of fragile areas.
[/quote]
My parents recently took a huge 3 month road trip around the
country, so they ran into a lot of tourists taking photos of
their kids. They were appalled by the number of people
photographing their children in inconsiderate or even dangerous
ways. A few times they decided to leave as they could not bear
to be witness to an accident.
[/quote]
My husband and I are similar. We were at our local zoo and
parents had children perched on a wall above a wild dog display.
My DH said something to the effect of "One of them is going to
fall, I don't want to see it," and we walked off and didn't view
the dogs from that observation area. Within a couple months, a
child had fallen into the exhibit and the outcome was fatal.
[/quote]
I think we live in the same city. That was a terrible and sad
story on the news, but I was not surprised due to my prior
visits to the zoo.
#Post#: 8197--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: dani321 Date: July 9, 2018, 12:14 pm
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A friend of mine got married at a smallish park (just a grassy
area, not a big park with play equipment, etc) right by the
beach, literally on the other side of the dunes. She couldn't
reserve the area, so she just took her chances: the ceremony was
going to be short anyway, with a reception a few blocks away
(not relevant but she also provided shuttle service to and from
the reception venue). I was with her and the bridal party while
they got ready, and rode on the shuttle with them to the wedding
site. We pulled up and there's some sort of huge reunion going
on, and at first the bride was a little disappointed; yes, she
knew she was taking her chances, by getting married in a public
place, but she really didn't expect this huge crowd. I'm sure if
she'd been Bridezilla and asked them to move out of the way for
pictures etc, the day probably would have been full of drama.
However, she is a reasonable person, so she didn't, and in the
end, the big reunion crowd saved the day - the microphone
speaker had either been forgotten or broken, and the big reunion
crowd had one and let us borrow it! On top of that, they were
quiet and super respectful for the entire ceremony, but as soon
as Bride and Groom were pronounced Man and Wife and got back
down the aisle, the big group broke out into a stomp-like
choreographed dance, and it was amazing! It made something that
originally disappointed the bride into something that was
memorable for all of us.
I also got married in a public area and wouldn't have dreamed of
asking anyone to move out of the way. Later, someone mentioned
to me that they were annoyed at someone being too loud or in the
way during the ceremony, and I hadn't even noticed, must less
cared. Like so many others mentioned here, if I wanted privacy,
I should have rented a private venue! But all I wanted was to
get married, the spot was very sentimental to my husband and his
family, so we showed up, got hitched, took some fast pics, and
left.
If I were in the position of being the stranger in the
background, I think whether I would move or not would depend a
lot on the way I was approached. If I could easily move and was
asked politely, I'm sure I'd move. If moving was more difficult
and/or I was approached rudely, maybe not. It's not rude to deny
someone's request.
#Post#: 9940--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: penguinladi Date: July 29, 2018, 3:09 pm
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Reminds me of when my sister and I and our husbands were in
downtown Chicago in Millenial Park on a beautiful summer day.
There are hundreds of people around and no less than 3 wedding
parties (probably more, but I didn't notice them). I heard one
bride complaining to her groom, "I thought you said there
wouldn't be anybody here". I thought--what planet are you from,
honey? Right next to the Bean and you want the park to
yourself? Good luck with that.
#Post#: 10047--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: BeagleMommy Date: July 30, 2018, 1:49 pm
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BeagleDaddy and I had pictures taken in a public park after our
wedding. It was a lovely spring Saturday in May and there were
a lot of people in the park at the same time. Everyone in the
park was very patient with us (waiting to pass until the
photographer was done snapping pics, etc.) and we were
respectful to the people who were there to just spend a nice day
in the park.
If I were the sunbather and I had been asked politely if I could
move for a moment so they could get a picture I would have
gladly done so. However, if you get demanding by saying "you
have to move" I'm going to keep myself firmly planted and tell
you "try another spot".
You don't get the right to demand everyone follow your orders
when they are using a public space publicly.
#Post#: 10279--------------------------------------------------
Re: Public Spaces and Wedding Parties
By: oogyda Date: August 1, 2018, 12:05 pm
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I'm with the sunbather, too.
1. She was there first.
2. There seems to be an air of entitlement coming from the
wedding party. Of course, I wasn't there so it is supposition
on my part.
ODD was married in a public building in a state park. While
they did cordon off the area of the ceremony, the building
remained open. There were no issues and plenty of people
stopped to watch and even applauded with the rest of us. There
were 2 little girls who were absolutely enthralled with it and
were cuter than a box of puppies.
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