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#Post#: 7758--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dogs (or other pets) vs. guests
DIR By: Tea Drinker
Date: July 4, 2018, 11:06 am
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I'm willing to shut my cats up for a couple of hours, not for a
couple of days. (That's partly because we live in a relatively
small apartment.)
If someone told me they were seriously allergic to cats, I would
suggest we meet elsewhere--not pressure them to come here
anyway--because I can't provide a space without fur or cat
dander. Ditto for someone who is scared of cats. Cats are part
of visiting me, therefore I am not going to push someone to come
visit if they don't want to be around cats. That seems like
pretty basic good behavior. And yes, it can complicate things
like holiday gatherings, but my desire to eat turkey with people
doesn't outweigh someone else's phobia or allergies.
#Post#: 7759--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dogs (or other pets) vs. guests
DIR By: wonderfullyanonymous
Date: July 4, 2018, 11:27 am
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--- Quote from: Bada link ---
>
> [quote author=Girlie link=topic=445.msg7688#msg7688
date=1530638937](snip)
> I think that if OP's (or the person OP is writing about,
rather) SIL is taking her dogs to other people's houses and
expecting OP to just suck it up and "go back to therapy," the
SIL is waaaaay out of line. If Fiancé is the only member of the
family on OP's side, then the whole whopping clan has major
issues. If all of this is occurring in SIL's house, then I still
think it's way out of line to promise someone that you'll lock
your dogs away for a visit and then spring them on that
terrified person for....what? Your own sick amusement? I still
am not sure what SIL's ultimate goal is, but I think Fiance and
OP need to play a good game of Avoidance from now on.
>
--- End Quote ---
I see two layers of etiquette here. The first is what Girlie
pointed out: SIL seems to have just sprung the dog on LW.
That's appalling and awful in my book. I'd be avoiding SIL too
since she clearly cannot be trusted.
The second is what we're willing to do to accommodate phobias,
and there seems to be some disagreement.
Personally, my FIL loves his dog. He reportedly told my nephew
when Dog knocked him over, "Well it's Dog's house too," in
explaining why he wouldn't put Dog away. But when LO was
crawling, I asked the dog be kept away from him. FIL put Dog on
a leash inside so he couldn't get in LO's space but he could
still be out with us. I appreciated the compromise. But FIL
knew I was quite serious and our visit would have been much
shorter otherwise. Now that LO is bigger, if Dog tried to knock
him over, I'd request the leash again. As a kid, my uncle's
giant dog put his paws on my shoulders; I still don't enjoy
being around big dogs (or even medium-large-ish ones). So I want
to make sure LO doesn't have any scary experiences to color his
views and I'll do what I need to do to make that happen, even if
it means pushing my host to do something by threatening to leave
or by leaving.
[/quote]
Dogs need to be taught manners the same as kids do. It might be
the dog's house too, but it's still unacceptable for a dog to be
jumping or knocking people down.
My aunt came to our house with my then, maybe 2 year old
cousin. The New Foundland was still a puppy, maybe 6 months old.
We were all watching so he wouldn't take little cousin out,
because he was a rambunctious puppy. LC wandered off into the
grass, and puppy went flying at him. No one was close enough to
save LC from a locomotive taking him out. We all just held our
breath, mom called puppy, who ignored her, not a big surprise,
he had his eyes on something his size. This puppy, stopped dead
2 feet in front of cousin, walked up to him and licked him.
#Post#: 7763--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dogs (or other pets) vs. guests
DIR By: Moose
Date: July 4, 2018, 12:20 pm
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I've only got cats and they pretty much scatter when guests come
over, though eventually they will come out. I wouldn't mind
shutting them away for a couple of hours if needed (as long as I
had prior warning since that would mean moving
food/water/litterboxes) but more than a few hours would become
miserable for them as they like to be with me when I am home.
Funny story -- I am training my baby T'Challa Moose not to get
up on people when they are eating and I am using the old squirt
bottle of water method. My aim is...lacking...and a few weeks
ago I went to spray the baby and hit my mother smack in the face
instead. With water dripping down her chin, she asked me if she
was allowed to finish eating. :D :D :D
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