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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 7563--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: bopper
Date: July 2, 2018, 12:57 pm
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Do you want any further relationship (friendship, romantic) or
otherwise? If no, don't answer.
#Post#: 7564--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: July 2, 2018, 1:06 pm
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I'd not only ignore his call, I'd try to block his number if
that was technically possible. He was a cowardly, self-centered
creep for ghosting you 15 years ago, and a ego-driven creep for
calling you at 1:30AM now. You're much better off without him,
and even if you're intensely curious, you'd be feeding his
inflated ego by allowing him to contact you again. You deserve
better than this. Have a long conversation in your head where
you give him what for and royally tell him off, but don't take
his call.
#Post#: 7565--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: Twik
Date: July 2, 2018, 1:08 pm
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so, I got in from getting groceries, and was just packing them
away when the phone rang. By the time I got there (about 3
rings) he’d hung up. Haven’t checked if he left a VM.
I really don’t want to get back involved. No current romantic
partner, but it was the sort of relationship that once you’re
over it, you wonder why on earth you put up with things, and
move on. I don’t need closure, or to say anything beyond “have a
nice life. Bye!”
And with the late night phone call, I sense there’s drama. And I
*hate* drama. Any sensible (sober) person would call at a
reasonable time.
So, I’m leaving it as is. Hopefully that’s it.
#Post#: 7568--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: July 2, 2018, 1:14 pm
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With this update, I'd say do yourself a favor and block his
number. Anyone who calls at 1:30AM, then calls again and hangs
up after 3 rings without leaving a message is all about the
drama. Now you can be pro-active and block his drama and take
control of the situation.
#Post#: 7579--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: Thitpualso
Date: July 2, 2018, 2:23 pm
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I would also like to say that neither the OP nor the caller are
likely to be the same people they were 15 years ago. That’s
going to change the dynamic.
I had a similar situation a few years ago when I received a
letter from a female acquaintance I’d cut off long ago. I had
my reasons because she’d told mutual acquaintances that I was
pregnant when we’d had no contact for over a year.
All of a sudden, I receive a three page letter (solid text with
no paragraphs) about her twin’s terminal illness and how much
she wanted to go on a vacation with me.
Run, run like a citizen of Tokyo fleeing Godzilla!
I did write back saying that we are now women in our 60s and
probably woudn’t even like each other if we met again. I also
suggested that paragraphs were her friends.
That was the end of that.
I sent her a Christmas card with a note wishing her well. I
never heard from her again.
#Post#: 7582--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: RevMaxx
Date: July 2, 2018, 2:43 pm
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""Run, run like a citizen of Tokyo fleeing Godzilla!""
oh, I am so using this!
[emoji1322]
#Post#: 7651--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: jpcher
Date: July 3, 2018, 3:56 am
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--- Quote from: Twik link ---
>
> so, I got in from getting groceries, and was just packing them
away when the phone rang. By the time I got there (about 3
rings) he’d hung up. Haven’t checked if he left a VM.
>
> I really don’t want to get back involved. No current romantic
partner, but it was the sort of relationship that once you’re
over it, you wonder why on earth you put up with things, and
move on. I don’t need closure, or to say anything beyond “have a
nice life. Bye!”
>
> And with the late night phone call, I sense there’s drama. And
I *hate* drama. Any sensible (sober) person would call at a
reasonable time.
>
> So, I’m leaving it as is. Hopefully that’s it.
>
--- End Quote ---
Good choice. And for more peace of mind, do block the number.
Thanks for the update!
#Post#: 7652--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: July 3, 2018, 6:30 am
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If he'd called at a reasonable hour, I'd say maybe go for Option
B. But the 1.30am call was a huge red flag for me. As previous
posters said, it shows (a) a basic lack of respect for you; and
(b) strongly suggests that he has drama going on in his life.
I get the temptation to be in touch, to see how he's doing, to
find out if he's sorry at all for the way he treated you. But I
think you're totally making the right choice by staying well
away! I get the impression that he probably assumes you're still
madly in love / heartbroken over him, and he can just waltz back
into your life without any repercussions. Don't give him that
satisfaction!
#Post#: 7694--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: July 3, 2018, 1:05 pm
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--- Quote from: LifeOnPluto link ---
>
> If he'd called at a reasonable hour, I'd say maybe go for
Option B. But the 1.30am call was a huge red flag for me. As
previous posters said, it shows (a) a basic lack of respect for
you; and (b) strongly suggests that he has drama going on in his
life.
>
> I get the temptation to be in touch, to see how he's doing, to
find out if he's sorry at all for the way he treated you. But I
think you're totally making the right choice by staying well
away! I get the impression that he probably assumes you're still
madly in love / heartbroken over him, and he can just waltz back
into your life without any repercussions. Don't give him that
satisfaction!
>
--- End Quote ---
This is sort of where I fall. If I happened to be home when he
called, I'd answer, and not get that involved.
But I wouldn't be all that interested, because I don't know that
I want to bother. I mean, MAYBE he just happened to be on
Facebook (or somewhere) and saw your name pop up, and then he
called right then so as not to forget later. I'd sort of suspend
judgment, though maybe with a slight lean away form being in
touch.
#Post#: 7698--------------------------------------------------
Re: Romantic blast from the past - what to do?
DIR By: malfoyfan13
Date: July 3, 2018, 1:34 pm
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A call at 1:30 in the morning would be enough for me to say
"Don't bother calling me again".
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