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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 7212--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: Hanna
Date: June 28, 2018, 9:31 pm
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I don't have a vote on whether God talks directly to anyone or
not. But buying you stuff that would make you sick and saying
God said it's OK is messed up.
#Post#: 7264--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: Despedina
Date: June 29, 2018, 11:08 am
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I would maybe keep it simple, and state "I believe you must have
misunderstood, I clearly told you I am allergic and this
endangers my health".
When I was about to go back to work after my youngest was born I
was searching for a care provider. One woman I contacted told me
she'd have to pray and get an answer from God before even
agreeing to meet me. The woman had placed an ad in the paper
what did she think the next step would be? She never called
back and I was kind of glad as I wouldn't want her to have to
pray and get an answer for everything while caring for my son. I
do believe in God but I think he's got bigger fish to fry and
blessed us with large brains for a reason.
#Post#: 7276--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: IceBear
Date: June 29, 2018, 1:35 pm
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--- Quote from: bridalviolet link ---
>
> I agree on the mental illness. My mother has schizophrenia and
the belief that God is talking directly to her is one of her
symptoms when she's at her worst. Has this relative any previous
history of mental illness?
>
--- End Quote ---
She has had a history of following her interests passionately.
If she did a craft, she went all out. Then she found religion
and for the first time a whole supportive community that
encouraged that kind of extreme behaviour. Actually since they
have their own church now, I'm betting the other churches
weren't that comfortable with their extreme beliefs either.
I feel almost like I'm contributing to her mental illness by not
saying something, which is why I care. If someone thought there
was a purple unicorn in the room, I'd try to help explain to
them how there really wasn't, and then find them medical help.
But I'd sure make it clear that I didn't see the unicorn. This
is harder, more like "I saw a purple unicorn yesterday in my
kitchen" and I really can't argue that because I wasn't there.
#Post#: 7277--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: RevMaxx
Date: June 29, 2018, 1:50 pm
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Howz about this ?...remind her that ""when God speaks to her,
it is private between her and God and her own
circumstances/needs and NOT for publication as to "God said".
(say this also: ) You know, especially because if God wanted
me to know something, He would have told me Himself.""
I do listen to that 'still small voice" , but it's for me and
my circumstances and was for my child when she was just a
child.
#Post#: 7279--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: bopper
Date: June 29, 2018, 2:00 pm
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You have the choices:
Attend the family events and stay away from her
If she gets near you make sure people know "Stay away from me
Aunt Bertha, I have told you numerous times I am allergic to
your oils"
Don't attend family events
Invite other family to your home
Ask that Aunt Bertha not be invited (if you are close to the
hosts)
#Post#: 7283--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: malfoyfan13
Date: June 29, 2018, 2:24 pm
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I'd avoid her if at all possible. I don't think she's
necessarily mentally ill, but if she's an obsessive type (this
is an obsessive type here writing so I know the territory) and
she goes gung-ho into everything, it's hard to get a word in.
I'm an atheist so I'm not going to comment on her religious
views. If I were you, I would simply hand back any unwanted
gifts and bean-dip when she makes a pronouncement. She most
likely is not going to listen to objections anyway, so why
bother? In one ear and out the other, as my DH always says.
#Post#: 7289--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: pierrotlunaire0
Date: June 29, 2018, 2:33 pm
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I once had a job dealing with the chronically mentally ill, and
quite frankly, arguing with them about their beliefs is not
going to work. Their delusional system will not be rocked.
About the best you can do with the purple unicorn is not
respond.
#Post#: 7302--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: IceBear
Date: June 29, 2018, 3:34 pm
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She's quite close family, so it will be interesting around
holidays. We are in a position where we probably wouldn't go
visit them, but they would expect to be invited for Christmas. I
don't know how that will work because we have a couple of
friends/family who we would invite to such celebrations as well,
who are more allergic to scents than I am, and would either
have an asthma attack or instant headaches just from the smell
of her clothing, even if she hasn't used the oils.
Maybe we'll just insist that she wash all clothing she's worn
while using oils before she stays with us and then refrain from
using them. And then if she decides to stay elsewhere, oh well.
#Post#: 7325--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: Celestia
Date: June 29, 2018, 6:12 pm
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This IS tricky...
I think in general...if someone's beliefs aren't harming anyone,
no matter how obviously incorrect they are, it's best to let it
go. I probably WOULD end up arguing with someone about the
purple unicorn, so I totally sympathize. But as long as the
argument is, "There's a purple unicorn in the corner, but he
phases in and out so you can still sit in that chair," I would
advise a smile and nod.
Once it starts affecting YOUR behavior and especially your
HEALTH, though, you're entitled to step in. "Oh my god, you
can't sit there, you're going to hurt the purple unicorn!"
deserves being told that there is no unicorn. "I need to spray
your house with your allergen to protect the unicorn!" deserves
an un-invitation if the believer won't stop. So I think it's
within bounds to tell her directly that the oils she gave you
still gave you a reaction, and to please not give them again no
matter what God says. But it's probably not worth arguing that
God didn't say it.
As for the kids, I'm with others. They should be fine, and it's
up to their parents to explain what's going on according to
their own beliefs.
#Post#: 7340--------------------------------------------------
Re: Question about how to address extreme religion (also
regarding children)
DIR By: mime
Date: June 29, 2018, 7:31 pm
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I'd avoid her. I vote "not mentally ill" because that's a pretty
hefty diagnosis from just the OP, but it doesn't matter one way
or the other; she still sounds like a pain to deal with.
You can only manage your behavior around her. If you invite her
over, she has to leave the oils behind because they are
dangerous to you. If she can't do that, then she can't visit. A
devout person of whatever religion has to accept trade-offs like
that all the time. It may just be a sacrifice she has to make
for the sake of her beliefs.
When she talks about God speaking to her, just let her hold her
own beliefs. Not really any of your business anyway, and you're
not likely to convince her that you're right and she's wrong.
When she gives you sickness-inducing oils because she believes
so strongly that your body is going to divinely tolerate them,
I'd refuse to accept them. In most cases, I'd graciously accept
a bad gift if it came with good intentions, but this makes me
wonder if she's trying to make you "see the light" and that is
best handled by you being upfront about the fact that you share
neither her beliefs nor her trust in her god for this healing
miracle.
As for kids: you have the right and responsibility to address
the situation with your own kids (if you have any). Other
parents have the right and responsibility to do so with their
kids. If you try to insert yourself into that situation, then
you're no more helpful than that family member you're trying to
counteract (and it may even result in you sounding like the
obsessive one).
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