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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 8454--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate Hosting Gift?
DIR By: bopper
Date: July 12, 2018, 10:25 am
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If you know they like wine/beer that is always good.
#Post#: 9020--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate Hosting Gift?
DIR By: Lilac
Date: July 18, 2018, 6:39 pm
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Two weeks is a really, really long time to accommodate a
houseguest. As such I think it calls for a more grand gesture
than a weekend social guest would expect to make.
My bare minimum in your situation would be:
-- arrival gift of specialty food item, flowers or other
consumable
-- hosting them at least twice in restuarants or at least
ordering in a generous take-out with plenty of extras/leftovers
-- a large gift after my departure
The latter would depend on their lifestyle and interests. If
they are sports fans I would exert myself to get two primo
tickets to a desirable game. If they are museum goers I would
get them a year family membership or pass at the museum,
botantical garden or whatever cultural venue they seem to enjoy.
If they are DIY-ers I would get them a $250 gift certificate to
a big box home store or garden center. If they like to pamper I
would get massage certificates. If they go to the casino, well,
many casinos now have gift cards, or it's possible to buy a
pre-paid chit they can use to gamble with. Or, there is always
Amazon or a VISA/Mastercard gift card.
I received a gift yesterday from a community organization I
helped -- it was a significant gift certificate through a
program operated by the local chamber of commerce -- the
certificate is good at any of about 100 very local
establishments, from bars and restaurants to spas to plant
nurseries to clothing and furniture stores to maid services and
plumbers. I had no idea this existed in our community but it's
an amazing gift card. You might check around to see if such a
thing exists in their city.
Presumably you are saving $100 a night in lodging costs so I
think the thank-you gesture should reflect that. And no matter
how fond we are to our friends, or family, many days on end is
wearing. Perhaps if you spend the Saturday of your visit away,
in a tourist area motel or something, it might be a welcome
respite for them.
#Post#: 9116--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate Hosting Gift?
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: July 19, 2018, 7:21 pm
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because of this:
--- Quote ---
> a city that's just far enough away that commuting during the
week doesn't make sense.
--- End Quote ---
I had assumed that our OP was very likely to go home for the
entire weekend in the middle.
But I agree; it would be good for a guest who is staying for
multiple weeks to try to spend a night or two away.
#Post#: 9846--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate Hosting Gift?
DIR By: daen
Date: July 28, 2018, 8:46 am
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--- Quote from: TootsNYC link ---
>
> because of this:
>
> [quote]a city that's just far enough away that commuting
during the week doesn't make sense.
--- End Quote ---
I had assumed that our OP was very likely to go home for the
entire weekend in the middle.
But I agree; it would be good for a guest who is staying for
multiple weeks to try to spend a night or two away.
[/quote]
Toots assumed correctly: I arrived Sunday night and left Friday
morning, both weeks.
The stay went well; my hosts had a lot of evening activities
planned (that I could have joined in, had I had the energy), so
they were away for a number of evenings.
The gifts I gave them (a basket of tea, flavored honey, dried
fruits, and nuts, and a bottle of wine; some local specialties
made with blueberries and a bottle of blueberry wine as a
parting gift) were very well received. I spent more time with
them than I expected, which we all enjoyed.
They mentioned several times how nice it was to have an adult
houseguest - they've hosted international students for a full
academic year at a time, who frequently need some level of
cultural guidance or explanation, and in some cases are taking
their first steps into the adult world and need
prompting/guiding/a reminder that the hosts are not their
parents...
Plans are afoot for a reciprocal visit, as soon as we can get
our schedules to sync.
#Post#: 9935--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate Hosting Gift?
DIR By: jpcher
Date: July 29, 2018, 1:52 pm
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Thanks for the update, daen! Your very thoughtful gifts would
have been well received in my household as well (I mean in
general).
Nicely done.
#Post#: 10604--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate Hosting Gift?
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: August 4, 2018, 11:43 am
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One thought that I meant to express earlier--these folks had
obviously been genuine in their offer of hospitality, and so it
is OK to simply accept, and to not stress terribly about
"paying" for the stay, and also OK not to feel in a constant
state of apology.
When we offer for someone to stay, their presence can have a big
impact, but we OFFERED>
We get something for ourselves out of their stay--a boost to our
ego (look at us--we're nice people!), their company (it's
refreshing to have a different person around; we get stagnant
sometimes), a sense of greater closeness to them (a HUGE
benefit; recently we served as a waypoint for the daughter of a
close friend, and now she feels like our friend in her own
right, not just Frank's daughter, which makes me so happy).
I think it's so easy to feel other people's generosity as a
burden, and to think of ourselves as burden. I know I do.
I have to remind myself sometimes: If I were the homeowner
inviting my friend to stay, what would I think of my guest? What
would I expect?
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