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#Post#: 7497--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: Venus193 Date: July 2, 2018, 7:06 am
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I think you did the right thing. What if the boy ran in front
of a car?
That the mother and daughter did nothing is disturbing also.
That possibly speaks of fear based on past actions.
#Post#: 7543--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: MrsG Date: July 2, 2018, 11:46 am
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=413.msg7482#msg7482
date=1530492701]
[quote author=puppylove link=topic=413.msg7481#msg7481
date=1530491634]
Wasn't one of the main complaints of the original forum about
how posters would jump to conclusions about an OP's relationship
based on one incident?
[/quote]
Yes. I have a problem with those sorts of sweeping
pronouncements based on something small.
[/quote]
It's okay, they mean well. I know him well enough to know what
he's capable of (especially since my late husband was a total
abusive jerk - he's nothing at all like him). He just feels
that people don't set boundaries for their children enough and,
honestly, I agree. I don't think people should beat their
children, but they certainly need to stop being their 'friends'
and be their parent. jmo Society wouldn't have half the issues
it has at the moment if parents would parent.
And we never saw this guy hit the kid. We saw him chase the kid.
We knew, after the fact, that he DID, in fact, hit the kid
because when we saw them in the museum later you could tell the
kid had been smacked in the face.
#Post#: 7547--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: TootsNYC Date: July 2, 2018, 12:03 pm
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That's interesting! Did your BF modify his opinion a little
after he saw that?
I'm glad you did say something; people can use reminding that
others are watching.
#Post#: 7549--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: MrsG Date: July 2, 2018, 12:11 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=413.msg7547#msg7547
date=1530551003]
That's interesting! Did your BF modify his opinion a little
after he saw that?
I'm glad you did say something; people can use reminding that
others are watching.
[/quote]
Yes, actually he did - a little. When he realized that the guy
had actually hit the kid he made the comment that the guy was
definitely out of control. He knew that it was not a good
situation all the way around but understood why I felt the need
to say something. I think that had we seen the guy hit his son
in the parking lot, his reaction might have been different. ;)
#Post#: 7553--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: TootsNYC Date: July 2, 2018, 12:23 pm
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I think people sometimes react to subtle signals that others
missed--and signals that they can't even really articulate or
explain.
That was probably you, in that parking lot, reading signals that
alarmed you. And your BF wasn't as sensitive.
#Post#: 7558--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: Girlie Date: July 2, 2018, 12:28 pm
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I agree that children will need discipline at times - that's
part of teaching them the difference between right and wrong and
how to behave appropriately.
However, I do believe that many parents (and many people, in
general), sometimes fall into the habit of thinking of children
as being somehow "lesser human" due to their lack of age and
experience. Discipline is one thing, but trying to chase
someone around the parking lot while yelling obscenities at them
and trying to smack them would never be appropriate if it was
being done to another adult for breaking something - so why
would anyone think it was okay to do it to a kid?
I think the level to which you intervened, OP, was fine. I
certainly don't think you did anything wrong.
#Post#: 7559--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: TootsNYC Date: July 2, 2018, 12:29 pm
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[quote]would never be appropriate if it was being done to
another adult [/quote]
I keep this in mind often, as a parent
#Post#: 7562--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: MrsG Date: July 2, 2018, 12:56 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=413.msg7553#msg7553
date=1530552195]
I think people sometimes react to subtle signals that others
missed--and signals that they can't even really articulate or
explain.
That was probably you, in that parking lot, reading signals that
alarmed you. And your BF wasn't as sensitive.
[/quote]
You're probably right Toots - I don't work CPS but I'm
definitely trained for those signals so when I see something
that's "off" I'm more than likely to address it whereas he's
not. ;) He was a butcher before he retired. He's an authority
on meat, not people. lol
#Post#: 7690--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: stonecoldnegan Date: July 3, 2018, 12:49 pm
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I agree that you did the right thing, safety trumps etiquette
and you felt that the young man was unsafe.
Just here to offer an opinion from a french speaking person in
Québec.. We use the word bastard (batard) to express
frustration. I'm not saying you misheard (perhaps he really was
calling his son a little bastard) but in my area of the province
we could say “batard il faut chaud aujourdhui!”(meaning Damn its
hot out today) or “Batard!je t'avais dit d'arrêter de jouer
après la poignée de port!” (meaning Dang it! I told you to stop
playing with the door handle).
That being said, chasing your kid around a parking lot and
threatening violence is a no-no here as well. Just thought I'd
offer a little insight for the language :-D
#Post#: 7696--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: Pattycake Date: July 3, 2018, 1:18 pm
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[quote author=stonecoldnegan link=topic=413.msg7690#msg7690
date=1530640163]
I agree that you did the right thing, safety trumps etiquette
and you felt that the young man was unsafe.
Just here to offer an opinion from a french speaking person in
Québec.. We use the word bastard (batard) to express
frustration. I'm not saying you misheard (perhaps he really was
calling his son a little bastard) but in my area of the province
we could say “batard il faut chaud aujourdhui!”(meaning Damn its
hot out today) or “Batard!je t'avais dit d'arrêter de jouer
après la poignée de port!” (meaning Dang it! I told you to stop
playing with the door handle).
That being said, chasing your kid around a parking lot and
threatening violence is a no-no here as well. Just thought I'd
offer a little insight for the language :-D
[/quote]
Thank you - it is good to have insight from a native speaker.
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