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#Post#: 6701--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: BeagleMommy Date: June 25, 2018, 3:06 pm
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You did what was appropriate. You reported a concern to someone
in authority. Could the father just have been having a bad day
followed by a one time inappropriate reaction? Sure. But this
is not an appropriate reaction to a teenager breaking something.
Your BF was wrong.
#Post#: 6708--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: bopper Date: June 25, 2018, 3:24 pm
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Also you were looking out for the security of the kid (aside
from his father) running around the parking lot...so he wouldn't
get hit by a car or run into other patrons.
From other patrons point of view, seeing this happening would be
disconcerting so hopefully the security guards presence would
help the father and/or the son calm down a bit.
Did you call the police? DYFS? No...calling them would start a
whole situation rolling that might be too much for the
situation. But getting private security of the location
involved? Yes.
#Post#: 6744--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: MrsG Date: June 25, 2018, 9:06 pm
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[quote author=Lexophile link=topic=413.msg6695#msg6695
date=1529955199]
Regardless of this particular situation, I'd be concerned about
what would happen if you reported this sort of behavior in an
official capacity.
How would BF react if you were in a situation where you actually
HAD to report someone? If he isn't supportive of your
professional responsibilities, that could make for some problems
down the road.
[/quote]
Normally the BF is very supportive of my professional
responsibilities. He's actually seen me have to report somebody
before within a work capacity so for him to be all about not
getting involved was quite odd to me. Honestly, I think it was
because we were out of our comfort zone - these were strangers.
Granted, the people I work with (I have a tri-county patient
zone) aren't really anybody that he knows but they're part of
the communities that we frequent. He's okay with me reporting on
those terms but being in a strange place with people we
definitely didn't know, it totally weirded him out. I'm not sure
WHY, I'm still trying to get to the bottom of that, but the fact
that he got so annoyed definitely resulted in some long
discussions on what is and is not acceptable behavior in public!
#Post#: 6843--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: NewHomeowner Date: June 26, 2018, 1:06 pm
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.
#Post#: 6970--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: Thitpualso Date: June 27, 2018, 10:40 am
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I don’t regard reporting a dangerous or abusive situation to
someone in a position to deal with it as ‘getting involved’.
It’s just the right thing to do. Perhaps the kid in the parking
lot wasn’t in any real danger but the actions of the father
could endanger others.
#Post#: 6980--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: LurkingGurl Date: June 27, 2018, 11:33 am
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From an etiquette standpoint, whether what that father was doing
was truly abusive or not, he crossed a boundary of appropriate
public behavior. Alerting security to head off further
inappropriate behavior is a good idea. Humans are somewhat
predictable but not completely.
Now, the OPs response was to want to do something and her BF's
response was to want to get away as quickly as possible. I
would say that both were correct responses. Perhaps, the BF was
a bit worried that he and GF would somehow be drawn in to a
larger drama or even be exposed to some kind of danger, even
just by talking to the security guard. That's not an
unreasonable concern.
Something was really off about that situation--the OPs response
was to want to do something to stop it. The BF's response was
to want to protect him and his GF. Going forward, the way to
come together on this is to recognize that and find ways to
accomplish both aims.
#Post#: 7451--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: Twik Date: July 1, 2018, 9:26 am
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I’d be leery of a relationship with someone who feels hitting a
child is disciplining and says “good.” Unless he missed the
atmoted blow, that means he feels physical abuse can be
justifiable, even admirable.
#Post#: 7452--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: Twik Date: July 1, 2018, 9:26 am
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[quote author=Twik link=topic=413.msg7451#msg7451
date=1530455175]
I’d be leery of a relationship with someone who feels hitting a
child is disciplining and says “good.” Unless he missed the
attempted blow, that means he feels physical abuse can be
justifiable, even admirable.
[/quote]
#Post#: 7481--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: guest725 Date: July 1, 2018, 7:33 pm
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Wasn't one of the main complaints of the original forum about
how posters would jump to conclusions about an OP's relationship
based on one incident?
#Post#: 7482--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Getting Involved"
By: TootsNYC Date: July 1, 2018, 7:51 pm
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[quote author=puppylove link=topic=413.msg7481#msg7481
date=1530491634]
Wasn't one of the main complaints of the original forum about
how posters would jump to conclusions about an OP's relationship
based on one incident?
[/quote]
Yes. I have a problem with those sorts of sweeping
pronouncements based on something small.
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