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       #Post#: 6366--------------------------------------------------
       Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: JeanFromBNA Date: June 21, 2018, 4:51 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       In our 11-person office, the company buys a cheesecake of their
       choice from the Cheesecake Factory for each employee's birthday.
       We all gather around the conference table and chat while we eat
       cake for 20 minutes or so.
       My birthday was last weekend.  It's on the calendar with all of
       the others.  Plus, our bookkeeper would remember it and give me
       a present, anyway, so I can't keep it a secret.  To my surprise,
       they collected donations for my birthday, and bought me a
       cheesecake.  I was wondering if someone would just buy it with
       the company credit card, which wouldn't have been a problem, but
       they decided to pay for it themselves.  I don't know who
       contributed, nor how much, and I don't want to know.  I thanked
       them all at once.  Should I do anything more?  Should I do
       something different to keep this from happening in the future?
       If it matters, the cheesecakes are usually $35 - $50, depending
       upon flavor.
       #Post#: 6367--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: TootsNYC Date: June 21, 2018, 4:57 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I don't think you should do anything now, for this event.
       But I think that in the future, you should specifically tell
       your assistant to buy the cheesecake on the company credit card,
       just the way all the others are.
       I was once the person officially in charge of making sure there
       was a birthday gathering. I think we took up a collection or
       asked people to bring stuff in, if they wanted to. Very low-key,
       no pressure. I'd send out an email: "birthday event next Tuesday
       for Jane, Lucinda, Fergus and Wakeen. Drinks are on the company;
       bring food if you want, or donate to me." I had a little money
       to get, like, one cake, but lots of people would either bring
       more food or hand me $2 to $10 to add on.
       Then came MY birthday. So I said, "It's my birthday! I brought
       cupcakes." Just the way we did as kids in school.
       #Post#: 6431--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: lowspark Date: June 22, 2018, 8:15 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=410.msg6367#msg6367
       date=1529618248]
       in the future, you should specifically tell your assistant to
       buy the cheesecake on the company credit card, just the way all
       the others are. [/quote]
       This.
       And... if you want to do something in return, why not bring in
       breakfast for the office one day next week. Kolaches or
       Chic-Fil-A or breakfast tacos or whatever is popular in your
       area.
       #Post#: 6655--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: DaDancingPsych Date: June 25, 2018, 8:58 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I would probably do nothing this time around, but when next year
       gets closer, I would just tell my assistant (or whoever
       organizes the cakes) to handle it like all others and use
       company funds.
       I would probably do nothing to escalate the situation, like
       suddenly take up collections for other birthday's or trying to
       "reward" them for their kindness. I think that this is how
       things get out of hand. I do like the breakfast idea, but I
       would probably wait so that it is not associated with my
       birthday.
       #Post#: 6678--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: lowspark Date: June 25, 2018, 1:08 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Yeah. I didn't say this but was thinking it. If you do
       breakfast, don't say it's anything to do with your birthday...
       Just say it's "just because." A nice gesture doesn't have to
       have any reason behind it.
       #Post#: 6683--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: TootsNYC Date: June 25, 2018, 1:13 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       yeah, god forbid that suddenly people think THEY need to bring
       in bagels after their birthday celebration!
       #Post#: 6694--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: JeanFromBNA Date: June 25, 2018, 2:31 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Well, the office AC went out that day, and it was 95 degrees
       out, so most went home early with a full day's pay.
       Thanks for the advice.  I thought it would be awkward to say,
       "buy me a cake." You all showed how I was wrong about that.
       I'll take the advice for next year.
       #Post#: 6700--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: DaDancingPsych Date: June 25, 2018, 3:04 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=JeanFromBNA link=topic=410.msg6694#msg6694
       date=1529955115]
       Well, the office AC went out that day, and it was 95 degrees
       out, so most went home early with a full day's pay.
       Thanks for the advice.  I thought it would be awkward to say,
       "buy me a cake." You all showed how I was wrong about that.
       I'll take the advice for next year.
       [/quote]
       I would have found it awkward, too, and would had done as you
       had and not said anything (thinking that if they get me one,
       cool, if not, no sweat.) But I think that the only way to
       correct things is to speak up. Being that it is norm to buy
       everyone a cake, then it will probably feel like a clarification
       and not a demand for a cake. If it would make you feel better,
       maybe you could say something before you say something?
       "Assistant, I just want you to know that I really appreciate
       that you organize the birthday cakes and do a stellar job at it.
       We are lucky that the company pays for everyone's birthday's and
       I appreciate that I can trust in you to organize it!" ??? It
       might throw out the idea that everyone gets a cake as well as
       some praise (which we all need.) However, I would still say it
       directly prior to my birthday.
       #Post#: 6720--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: TootsNYC Date: June 25, 2018, 4:58 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=JeanFromBNA link=topic=410.msg6694#msg6694
       date=1529955115]
       Well, the office AC went out that day, and it was 95 degrees
       out, so most went home early with a full day's pay.
       Thanks for the advice.  I thought it would be awkward to say,
       "buy me a cake." You all showed how I was wrong about that.
       I'll take the advice for next year.
       [/quote]
       But you're not really saying "buy me a cake," since you're the
       one buying the cake (or authorizing it).
       You're saying, "I'll buy you guys a cake." And if you want, YOU
       can be the one to organize it, so your assistant doesn't have
       to. All awkwardness solved!
       #Post#: 6802--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Happy birthday to me, the boss?
       By: DaDancingPsych Date: June 26, 2018, 9:18 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=410.msg6720#msg6720
       date=1529963936]
       [quote author=JeanFromBNA link=topic=410.msg6694#msg6694
       date=1529955115]
       Well, the office AC went out that day, and it was 95 degrees
       out, so most went home early with a full day's pay.
       Thanks for the advice.  I thought it would be awkward to say,
       "buy me a cake." You all showed how I was wrong about that.
       I'll take the advice for next year.
       [/quote]
       But you're not really saying "buy me a cake," since you're the
       one buying the cake (or authorizing it).
       You're saying, "I'll buy you guys a cake." And if you want, YOU
       can be the one to organize it, so your assistant doesn't have
       to. All awkwardness solved!
       [/quote]
       Ohhh... that is a great idea, too! If you are not comfortable
       speaking up, just announce to Assistant that you will be buying
       the cake. Problem solved!
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