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#Post#: 11937--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me:
2nd Update
DIR By: dani321
Date: August 22, 2018, 11:43 am
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I'm throwing my 2 cents in just to say I think it may be wise
not to speak to him over the phone, and keep all communication
in writing. There's probably a reason he refuses to email you
over whatever it is he wants to talk about, so you'll have no
proof of what he says. I can understand not feeling up to
speaking to him, but definitely feeling up to making a
complaint, so that you can get at least one issue resolved. I
hope you're able to move out very soon, and I think that's
really your best bet; even if some of the current issues are
resolved, there will be more, and now the landlord is probably
going to get worse since you complained (even though you were
within your rights to complain!). Good luck!
#Post#: 12025--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me:
2nd Update
DIR By: Soop
Date: August 23, 2018, 9:28 am
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--- Quote from: dani321 link ---
>
> I'm throwing my 2 cents in just to say I think it may be wise
not to speak to him over the phone, and keep all communication
in writing. There's probably a reason he refuses to email you
over whatever it is he wants to talk about, so you'll have no
proof of what he says. I can understand not feeling up to
speaking to him, but definitely feeling up to making a
complaint, so that you can get at least one issue resolved. I
hope you're able to move out very soon, and I think that's
really your best bet; even if some of the current issues are
resolved, there will be more, and now the landlord is probably
going to get worse since you complained (even though you were
within your rights to complain!). Good luck!
>
--- End Quote ---
Completely agree about keeping everything in writing. I'm in
commercial property management and leasing. Whenever there's a
difficult situation with a tenant, we keep everything in
writing. Even if they call in, the call is followed up with an
email saying 'please allow this email to confirm the details of
our call on date/time...' and list out everything relevant that
was discussed.
Not landlord and tenant related, but I had a co-worker that
would actually get angry if you emailed her. She would say
something like 'it's so much more friendly if we just talk'. I'm
pretty sure (after seeing how bad her work was), that she had
been caught in something at a previous job because of a
paper/email trail. Needless to say, I continued to email her.
#Post#: 12028--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me
DIR By: gramma dishes
Date: August 23, 2018, 10:00 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: lakey link ---
>
> ... Being cooped up in a car with someone who says things
that you find offensive is not worth the free ride.
>
--- End Quote ---
Especially when that person is essentially kidnapping you and
taking you places you don't want to go! :o
#Post#: 18164--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me:
Update pg 4
DIR By: kittyfan43
Date: November 4, 2018, 4:01 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
So my landlord has moved in with us. Oh joy! He is as weird as I
remember. So he wants to move his wife back to this state from
way across the country and down south and he does want me to
move out. He is hoping that I can move out by January 1. His
wife does not want to live with any tenants although he might be
able to keep the one male tenant who has been very agreeable
with him.
I am working a substitute teaching job and looking for more
permanent work. I am also looking for a new place to live but I
have a cat who is my family and I am not willing to part with
him. Finding a place in my price range may be a bit of a
challenge although I am looking in a new area because I am
working for a different school system in a cheaper area of my
state.
I did get him to bring out an exterminator who did a preliminary
spraying and then told us that he needed to come back to bring a
nest killing spray and that we definitely had ant nests in the
house and that would be in his report. He never came back. I
emailed my landlord who was not living with us at that time
about the guy coming back and what he said about the ant nests
and I never got an answer. I have not brought it up with him
since he has moved back because this whole situation of living
with him has been very awkward for me.
He is crazy and I don't want to press him to spend more money
right now because that ants are not as bad as before. -I think
that they may be hibernating and also because there are only so
many fights that I want to have with this guy while we live
together.
It has been contentious living with him. He has yelled at me a
few times, tried to boss me around about 1x per week over the
last 3 weeks he has been here. I push back to some degree. It is
very hard to live with someone who has a few screws loose. Logic
is not a part of the situation. I am avoiding him as much as
possible. One of the other roommates has already moved out. It
is now just me, the guy that never complains and my landlord. My
landlord often has loud conversations after midnight in the
kitchen which is across the hall from my bedroom-I have to get
up at 5:30 or 6 am to be ready to substitute teach. He knows
this because back in Texas he used to be a substitute himself. I
don't know if I should complain though. I don't know if that
will make his behavior worse at some point. He is mostly talking
to the other remaining roommate who works last shift at a
restaurant and comes home anywhere between 11 pm and 1 am and
then my landlord has loud conversations with him on many a
night. The other roommate is having car trouble so he is relying
on my landlord for transportation so he isn't going to stand up
to my landlord over anything.
My landlord is feeling very powerless in his own life. He is
having trouble finding work locally -he looks like a crazy old
prospector right out of a movie with a giant wild beard and wild
long hair and refuses to update his look in order to get hired.
He also is very vocal about being racist and a lot of jobs won't
hire someone who likes to spout off their views like he does. I
suspect he will be retired at 60 whether he likes it or not here
in my state and living off of his wife's income. As there will
likely be no renters to boss around he won't even have that kind
of power. He let his credentials lapse as a teacher and I know
that his spouting off racist views will make it impossible for
him to find a job around here and to get back into a program at
a school to get himself recertified as a music teacher. -I am a
recently certified music teacher myself so I know what I am
talking about. There could be some jealousy under the surface
against me as well.
I still have to live with this guy until I sort all of this out
and I do want him to stop having loud conversations after
midnight outside my door. How do I try to make that happen?
Good Lord this is annoying. I really want out of this place.
Thanks everyone for the advice so far.
#Post#: 18166--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me:
Update pg 4
DIR By: guest657
Date: November 4, 2018, 4:45 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: kittyfan43 link ---
>
> So my landlord has moved in with us. Oh joy! He is as weird as
I remember. So he wants to move his wife back to this state from
way across the country and down south and he does want me to
move out. He is hoping that I can move out by January 1. His
wife does not want to live with any tenants although he might be
able to keep the one male tenant who has been very agreeable
with him.
>
> I am working a substitute teaching job and looking for more
permanent work. I am also looking for a new place to live but I
have a cat who is my family and I am not willing to part with
him. Finding a place in my price range may be a bit of a
challenge although I am looking in a new area because I am
working for a different school system in a cheaper area of my
state.
>
>
> I did get him to bring out an exterminator who did a
preliminary spraying and then told us that he needed to come
back to bring a nest killing spray and that we definitely had
ant nests in the house and that would be in his report. He never
came back. I emailed my landlord who was not living with us at
that time about the guy coming back and what he said about the
ant nests and I never got an answer. I have not brought it up
with him since he has moved back because this whole situation of
living with him has been very awkward for me.
>
> He is crazy and I don't want to press him to spend more money
right now because that ants are not as bad as before. -I think
that they may be hibernating and also because there are only so
many fights that I want to have with this guy while we live
together.
>
> It has been contentious living with him. He has yelled at me a
few times, tried to boss me around about 1x per week over the
last 3 weeks he has been here. I push back to some degree. It is
very hard to live with someone who has a few screws loose. Logic
is not a part of the situation. I am avoiding him as much as
possible. One of the other roommates has already moved out. It
is now just me, the guy that never complains and my landlord. My
landlord often has loud conversations after midnight in the
kitchen which is across the hall from my bedroom-I have to get
up at 5:30 or 6 am to be ready to substitute teach. He knows
this because back in Texas he used to be a substitute himself. I
don't know if I should complain though. I don't know if that
will make his behavior worse at some point. He is mostly talking
to the other remaining roommate who works last shift at a
restaurant and comes home anywhere between 11 pm and 1 am and
then my landlord has loud conversations with him on many a
night. The other roommate is having car trouble so he is relying
on my landlord for transportation so he isn't going to stand up
to my landlord over anything.
>
> My landlord is feeling very powerless in his own life. He is
having trouble finding work locally -he looks like a crazy old
prospector right out of a movie with a giant wild beard and wild
long hair and refuses to update his look in order to get hired.
He also is very vocal about being racist and a lot of jobs won't
hire someone who likes to spout off their views like he does. I
suspect he will be retired at 60 whether he likes it or not here
in my state and living off of his wife's income. As there will
likely be no renters to boss around he won't even have that kind
of power. He let his credentials lapse as a teacher and I know
that his spouting off racist views will make it impossible for
him to find a job around here and to get back into a program at
a school to get himself recertified as a music teacher. -I am a
recently certified music teacher myself so I know what I am
talking about. There could be some jealousy under the surface
against me as well.
>
> I still have to live with this guy until I sort all of this
out and I do want him to stop having loud conversations after
midnight outside my door. How do I try to make that happen?
>
> Good Lord this is annoying. I really want out of this place.
Thanks everyone for the advice so far.
>
--- End Quote ---
I thought you gave 30 days notice back in August? Why are you
still living there?
The simplest and most reasonable way to address the noise issue
is to pop your head out when they are standing there talking and
say, "Hey guys, could you please go in the [other common area
away from your door]? I have to get up early. Thanks!" Or if
there is no other common area, you could say "please keep it
down" instead.
But it's unlikely he will give any weight to your preferences.
If anything, he may increase the noise in order to push you out.
You keep saying that his behavior is illogical, but it sounds
extremely logical to me - just not very nice. You gave notice
in August, but you're still there. He's ignoring complaints
about the condition of the property. He's being noisy and
unpleasant. He's yelling at you and being obnoxious. He wants
you to move out.
I know you love your cat, but in your position I'd find a friend
to take the cat temporarily and just go. Couch-surfing would be
better than this, as long as the place was clean. As bad as this
is, it's going to be 100x worse with his wife in residence, who
does not want you there. And if his wife is refusing to move in
until you go, he will just keep making your life worse and worse
until you do.
There's a far cry between the status of "tenant in a commercial
rental property" and "unwanted roommate of a married couple in
their own home." You've been given a move-out date. If you try
to rely on sympathy and negotiation to extend your stay, you
will be living in a constant stew of resentment, hostility, and
passive-aggression.
Get out.
#Post#: 18167--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me:
update pg 4
DIR By: kittyfan43
Date: November 4, 2018, 4:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I lost the job that made it possible for me to move out. Toxic
work environment- but that's another story. I have looked into
couch surfing. There are none to be had among my friends. No one
will take kitty either. I have been going through a lot for some
time and for the sake of my emotional well being just giving
away my cat is not a mentally/emotionally good option for me.
Additionally his wife is not waiting for me to move out she is
still working in other state. He admits that they could also use
the income. I set this new move out date myself for January back
in September which he says that he is not making a hard and fast
move out date.
This is a very complicated situation.
#Post#: 18171--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me:
update pg 4
DIR By: lakey
Date: November 4, 2018, 6:04 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Here is the situation:
He owns the house
He behaves in ways you don't like
You can't change his behavior
Here are your options:
Move out
Stay there and live under bad conditions
If your financial and employment problems are such that you
can't move, then you are just going to have accept his behavior,
and perhaps his wife's behavior. The chances that they will
change their behavior to suit you are almost zero. Maybe if you
accept the reality of your situation, you will be able to
tolerate it better.
#Post#: 18175--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me:
update pg 4
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: November 4, 2018, 7:06 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I just wanted to say, good luck in finding a new place to live!
#Post#: 18178--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me:
update pg 4
DIR By: guest657
Date: November 4, 2018, 7:53 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: kittyfan43 link ---
>
> I lost the job that made it possible for me to move out.
Toxic work environment- but that's another story. I have looked
into couch surfing. There are none to be had among my friends.
No one will take kitty either. I have been going through a lot
for some time and for the sake of my emotional well being just
giving away my cat is not a mentally/emotionally good option for
me.
>
> Additionally his wife is not waiting for me to move out she is
still working in other state. He admits that they could also use
the income. I set this new move out date myself for January back
in September which he says that he is not making a hard and fast
move out date.
>
> This is a very complicated situation.
>
--- End Quote ---
I'm sorry you're going through all this. It sounds like a very
miserable situation with a lot of stress and difficulties.
But complicated it's not. The problem is clear (horrible
apartment with horrible owner), and the solution is clear
(move).
You seem to be deeply involved in his personal life and
emotional state. Maybe he just spouts this stuff and you can't
avoid picking it up? But it's going to be much easier if you
distance yourself and avoid talking to him as much as you can.
Getting sucked into his wierd emotional roller coaster is going
to keep on making things seem more complicated than they need to
be.
I hope you can get your income up quickly and find another
place. One option might be to broaden your job search and look
for anything that pays more than substitute music teaching.
If you're recently certified, you have time to establish your
career goals after you have a safe and stable living situation.
It seems to me that getting a reliable income and housing are
urgent.
There really is no etiquette solution to living with a jerk,
because jerks don't care about being fair or kind or maintaining
a relationship. The only solution is "don't live with a jerk."
I wish you the best of luck and hope things turn around for you
quickly.
#Post#: 18186--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to handle my crazy landlord who currently lives with me:
update pg 4
DIR By: Hanna
Date: November 4, 2018, 10:35 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I’m so sorry you are in this situation. I completely understand
not leaving your kitty with someone else.
I can’t think of a way to get him to stop talking late at night
given his mentality. But can you try running white noise to
dampen the impact? Also, try to get some sleep whenever you
can. Being woken up frequently can really take a toll on our
mental and physical health.
If getting a second job to save up is an option I recommend
that. And keep looking for other living arrangements. Let
people know you are in the market. Something unexpected like
long term housesitting or sharing a home with someone in
exchange for helping around their home might come along.
It sounds like you are maybe in an area where jobs are scarce?
If that’s true, would you consider relocating?
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