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#Post#: 12096--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: TootsNYC Date: August 24, 2018, 1:08 am
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Sending a Christmas card is not a reason to invite someone to a
wedding.
#Post#: 12100--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Aleko Date: August 24, 2018, 6:46 am
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[quote][quote]I have first cousins who are like sisters to me. I
have first cousins I truly don't know if they're alive or dead,
and I'm sure they don't know the same about me. If I were to
have a major life event like a wedding, would you say I'd have
to get PIs to find the missing ones or else not invite the ones
who've been with me through thick and thin?
[/quote]
Don't you exchange Christmas cards? Or do people not do that
anymore?
[/quote]
Last time I looked I had over 36 first cousins and
first-cousins-once-removed on my mother's side alone, and like
Twix I have some that I'm close to and quite a few who I
wouldn't even recognise. I send Christmas cards to the ones I'm
close to, and I don't even have have addresses for some of the
others. I don't expect to be invited to every single cousin's
wedding, and I'm sure that nor were any of them in the least
surprised or offended who weren't invited to mine.
I appreciate that the dynamic in small families is different.
But even so, I hold that anyone who throws a 'YOU OUGHT TO HAVE
INVITED ME! HOW DARE YOU NOT INVITE ME!' tantrum, in respect of
any kind of event at all, is simply demonstrating to the world
what good judgement the organiser showed in leaving them out.
#Post#: 12101--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: VorFemme Date: August 24, 2018, 8:23 am
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=404.msg12096#msg12096
date=1535090938]
Sending a Christmas card is not a reason to invite someone to a
wedding.
[/quote]
No, but if I start getting Christmas cards returned in the mail,
it means that I no longer have a current address for that cousin
(or cousin once removed) and that if they don't think to send me
their current address, then they must not feel that close to me.
I had a few wedding invitations to DD's wedding returned - and
when the relatives who didn't get one complained about not
getting their invitation - I mentioned that there had been one
sent, but it was returned to us - so I hadn't had the current
address at the time of sending out the invitations (five months
or so after Christmas - so I should have had a current address,
if they'd bothered to send even a Christmas email with the news
of their family - including a move and a new or expected new
address).
There are a few relatives that I've lost track of as I send
something out and nothing comes back for years, until the "moved
- no forwarding address" notation comes back on the increasingly
infrequent letters that I mail out. I mark that address card as
being out of date and move it to the back of the card case,
until I have a chance to ask if anyone that I am in touch with
knows where they moved to...I don't have current addresses even
for all of my living first cousins.
#Post#: 12147--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Twik Date: August 24, 2018, 1:38 pm
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[quote author=Uncle Rupert link=topic=404.msg12093#msg12093
date=1535078984]
[quote author=Twik link=topic=404.msg10992#msg10992
date=1533731494]
I have first cousins who are like sisters to me. I have first
cousins I truly don't know if they're alive or dead, and I'm
sure they don't know the same about me. If I were to have a
major life event like a wedding, would you say I'd have to get
PIs to find the missing ones or else not invite the ones who've
been with me through thick and thin?[/quote]
Don't you exchange Christmas cards? Or do people not do that
anymore?
[/quote]
No. As I said, they could both have passed away, and I'd not
know.
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