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#Post#: 8379--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: GardenGal Date: July 11, 2018, 2:26 pm
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Thanks for this update. I'm sorry about your DFIL. Hope you
continue to take good care of yourself - you deserve it!
#Post#: 8457--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: NFPwife Date: July 12, 2018, 11:11 am
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I'm so sorry about the passing of your DFIL.
Nice update!
#Post#: 8538--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Chez Miriam Date: July 13, 2018, 10:13 am
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Condolences for the loss of your DFIL.
If you were sent to the craft room for a little 'time out',
please post pics of pretty things created in the craftiness [or
whatever it's called] thread! ;) ;D
#Post#: 10023--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Amethyst Anne Date: July 30, 2018, 11:02 am
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Thank you for your kind condolences. It just seems strange that
he is not here anymore. DH has continued the every Sunday
morning visit. Since I am here instead of there, I suggested to
DH that he invite Mother to go out tomorrow for an early supper.
His 71st birthday is tomorrow.
I've decided what I'm going to do about Brother'sDD. I am going
to follow through on not visiting her in person. I will be
sending her a text message saying something to effect of "you
hurt my feelings by unfriending me on Facebook, you are family,
I care about your welfare, etc." I haven't come up with good
wording yet. I thought if I sent a text, I could say what I want
to say, how I want to say it, without being interrupted or
sidetracked. I went through my collection of DVD's, and have set
aside 2 movies for her and her family. I'll gift wrap them and
ask my brother to give them to her for me the next time he goes
to visit after I have sent my text message to her.
The drive from Kentucky went okay. The first hour and a half was
a gorgeous day. After that, it rained during the whole drive. :(
I stayed the night in the only motel in Hurricane WVa. It looks
a little rundown, but the staff was helpful and friendly, the
mattress was super comfortable, the hot water was almost
immediately hot, and the continental breakfast was good. I got
the last room available, a king/smoking, but there was no smell
of smoke. All for $67/night!
My brother, sister, and I are making good progress going through
our parents' home. We are greatly supporting the town's
recycling program. :D
This going-through process has been interesting in all kinds of
ways:
We found the financial record that Mom kept when she and Dad
were having the house built. They bought a quarter acre corner
lot for $950(USD). The borough charged 25cents for the building
permit. Property taxes for 1953 was $114.12/year. Mortgage
payment $47.46/month.
We found Mom's school report cards, and a pile of school books
that had belonged to Mom's paternal grandfather.
We found the musical jewelry box that always sat on Dad's
stepmother's dresser. Dad's mother passed away in 1949 (before I
was born). GrampaB married again. She was always GrammaB! Sister
and Brother said that I could have it.
Well, I rambled on enough. Thank you for being there. I
appreciate it.
#Post#: 10060--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Twik Date: July 30, 2018, 3:10 pm
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My heart goes out to you. Clearing out a parent's place is
always difficult. So many memories.
#Post#: 10115--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Lkdrymom Date: July 31, 2018, 6:15 am
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Sorry you have to go through this. It is never easy clearing
out a house with alot of memories.
#Post#: 10431--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Uncle Rupert Date: August 2, 2018, 8:09 pm
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I have a difficult niece of my own, though her behavior is not
quite so immature. While your brother's daughter's histrionics
were certainly uncalled for, your sister's daughter behaved
atrociously in excluding her from the wedding. "Only wanting to
invite those she felt closest to" is a flimsy excuse indeed for
specifically excluding someone who was no less a cousin than the
others. You simply don't exclude family members from important
milestone events such as this.
#Post#: 10469--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Amethyst Anne Date: August 3, 2018, 10:17 am
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Uncle Rupert, yes, actually you do not have to invite all family
members to all events. The only time these 2 cousins were in
contact with each other were at events that my parents held in
their home. There is an 8 year gap in age between the cousins
and being as Brother'sDD has never invited Sister'sDD to any of
her events, and since she is the older of the 2, shouldn't she
be setting a good example of gracious hosting?
I love Brother'sDD but I am not blind to the way she is. She
would have made a big stink about something, even if she had
been invited and attended.
#Post#: 10992--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Twik Date: August 8, 2018, 7:31 am
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[quote author=Uncle Rupert link=topic=404.msg10431#msg10431
date=1533258545]
I have a difficult niece of my own, though her behavior is not
quite so immature. While your brother's daughter's histrionics
were certainly uncalled for, your sister's daughter behaved
atrociously in excluding her from the wedding. "Only wanting to
invite those she felt closest to" is a flimsy excuse indeed for
specifically excluding someone who was no less a cousin than the
others. You simply don't exclude family members from important
milestone events such as this.
[/quote]
But with large families, you often *aren't* as close to some as
to others, even in the same degree of relationship.
I have first cousins who are like sisters to me. I have first
cousins I truly don't know if they're alive or dead, and I'm
sure they don't know the same about me. If I were to have a
major life event like a wedding, would you say I'd have to get
PIs to find the missing ones or else not invite the ones who've
been with me through thick and thin?
#Post#: 12093--------------------------------------------------
Re: Advice/next encounter with niece.Semi-U/D #29
By: Uncle Rupert Date: August 23, 2018, 9:49 pm
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[quote author=Twik link=topic=404.msg10992#msg10992
date=1533731494]
I have first cousins who are like sisters to me. I have first
cousins I truly don't know if they're alive or dead, and I'm
sure they don't know the same about me. If I were to have a
major life event like a wedding, would you say I'd have to get
PIs to find the missing ones or else not invite the ones who've
been with me through thick and thin?[/quote]
Don't you exchange Christmas cards? Or do people not do that
anymore?
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