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#Post#: 6916--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: MOM21SON
Date: June 26, 2018, 10:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Celestia link ---
>
> [quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=400.msg6637#msg6637
date=1529900483]
> I've told this story somewhere, maybe on the old board.
>
> My father owned his own business and was very successful. It
was the late 70's and he decided to have a Christmas party.
From what I remember it was very fancy. All employees, spouses,
children were invited. It was in some ballroom at a hotel.
Children activities, including Santa. Drinks for adults, passed
apps, sit down dinner. Prior to that he had given all employees
a bonus check.
>
> The night of the event, his employees arranged a gift, it was
a VCR! The price at that time was about 1200 US dollars. I
don't think I have ever seen my father that mad. He ranted the
whole way home about how he gave employees a gift to thank them
for his success. Mind you, he had 10-15 employees at the most.
So that was roughly 80 bucks each to pitch in for the VCR. I am
not sure what bonus they got, but I'm pretty sure it was that or
less for most of them.
>
> He stuck by that employees shouldn't gift their boss. He
never had another party again, but continued with bonuses.
>
> So that is probably why I stand by that bosses should not be
gifted.
>
> Now I have given cards and such on my own, maybe even a flower
or two. But that's it.
>
--- End Quote ---
Sorry....that just seems like such a sad over-reaction :(
Obviously no one wants anyone to feel pressured to buy a gift.
But if they DID...holy ungrateful, Batman! I hope he at least
waited till he was in the car to show any displeasure. I hope in
front of the gift-givers, he was thankful and pleasant. To take
away the party because they had the GALL to....want to
acknowledge him with a gift...that makes me so sad.
[/quote]
Oh yes, he was very gracious at the party. He never made a
scene about why there wasn't another party. There were other
activities throughout the year. And he is still very friendly
to his ex employees and they dine out together quite often.
He just felt very strongly that his employees deserved the best
and he was going to do that. Their money was for them. I don't
know if his "quilt" was any part of him just building a brand
new house in a well to do neighborhood or not.
#Post#: 6917--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: June 27, 2018, 12:00 am
---------------------------------------------------------
also, he sounds like the kind of guy who would be less actually
-angry with/at- his employees, and more frustrated at the
situation.
(He may have been mad at whoever it was that organized it,
fearing that they'd pressured people into contributing a lot of
money, enough to pretty much eat up their actual bonus!)
#Post#: 6941--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: June 27, 2018, 8:32 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: MOM21SON link ---
>
> [quote author=Celestia link=topic=400.msg6814#msg6814
date=1530024050]
> [quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=400.msg6637#msg6637
date=1529900483]
> I've told this story somewhere, maybe on the old board.
>
> My father owned his own business and was very successful. It
was the late 70's and he decided to have a Christmas party.
From what I remember it was very fancy. All employees, spouses,
children were invited. It was in some ballroom at a hotel.
Children activities, including Santa. Drinks for adults, passed
apps, sit down dinner. Prior to that he had given all employees
a bonus check.
>
> The night of the event, his employees arranged a gift, it was
a VCR! The price at that time was about 1200 US dollars. I
don't think I have ever seen my father that mad. He ranted the
whole way home about how he gave employees a gift to thank them
for his success. Mind you, he had 10-15 employees at the most.
So that was roughly 80 bucks each to pitch in for the VCR. I am
not sure what bonus they got, but I'm pretty sure it was that or
less for most of them.
>
> He stuck by that employees shouldn't gift their boss. He
never had another party again, but continued with bonuses.
>
> So that is probably why I stand by that bosses should not be
gifted.
>
> Now I have given cards and such on my own, maybe even a flower
or two. But that's it.
>
--- End Quote ---
Sorry....that just seems like such a sad over-reaction :(
Obviously no one wants anyone to feel pressured to buy a gift.
But if they DID...holy ungrateful, Batman! I hope he at least
waited till he was in the car to show any displeasure. I hope in
front of the gift-givers, he was thankful and pleasant. To take
away the party because they had the GALL to....want to
acknowledge him with a gift...that makes me so sad.
[/quote]
Oh yes, he was very gracious at the party. He never made a
scene about why there wasn't another party. There were other
activities throughout the year. And he is still very friendly
to his ex employees and they dine out together quite often.
He just felt very strongly that his employees deserved the best
and he was going to do that. Their money was for them. I don't
know if his "quilt" was any part of him just building a brand
new house in a well to do neighborhood or not.
[/quote]
I'm sorry, but your dad sounds very controlling and acting like
a parent and not an employer. He paid his employees. It is now
their money. If they chose to spend part of that showing
appreciation toward someone who was is offering them opportunity
for good employment, that is their choice.
Also a VCR was a gift to your "family". They probably recognized
as a small business owner that he spent lots of time on the
business and this gift was a way to thank the entire family. His
reaction to the gift spoiled something that was meant to be a
generous gesture that all of the family could enjoy.
#Post#: 7023--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: MOM21SON
Date: June 27, 2018, 3:13 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Hmmm link ---
>
> [quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=400.msg6916#msg6916
date=1530071826]
> [quote author=Celestia link=topic=400.msg6814#msg6814
date=1530024050]
> [quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=400.msg6637#msg6637
date=1529900483]
> I've told this story somewhere, maybe on the old board.
>
> My father owned his own business and was very successful. It
was the late 70's and he decided to have a Christmas party.
From what I remember it was very fancy. All employees, spouses,
children were invited. It was in some ballroom at a hotel.
Children activities, including Santa. Drinks for adults, passed
apps, sit down dinner. Prior to that he had given all employees
a bonus check.
>
> The night of the event, his employees arranged a gift, it was
a VCR! The price at that time was about 1200 US dollars. I
don't think I have ever seen my father that mad. He ranted the
whole way home about how he gave employees a gift to thank them
for his success. Mind you, he had 10-15 employees at the most.
So that was roughly 80 bucks each to pitch in for the VCR. I am
not sure what bonus they got, but I'm pretty sure it was that or
less for most of them.
>
> He stuck by that employees shouldn't gift their boss. He
never had another party again, but continued with bonuses.
>
> So that is probably why I stand by that bosses should not be
gifted.
>
> Now I have given cards and such on my own, maybe even a flower
or two. But that's it.
>
--- End Quote ---
Sorry....that just seems like such a sad over-reaction :(
Obviously no one wants anyone to feel pressured to buy a gift.
But if they DID...holy ungrateful, Batman! I hope he at least
waited till he was in the car to show any displeasure. I hope in
front of the gift-givers, he was thankful and pleasant. To take
away the party because they had the GALL to....want to
acknowledge him with a gift...that makes me so sad.
[/quote]
Oh yes, he was very gracious at the party. He never made a
scene about why there wasn't another party. There were other
activities throughout the year. And he is still very friendly
to his ex employees and they dine out together quite often.
He just felt very strongly that his employees deserved the best
and he was going to do that. Their money was for them. I don't
know if his "quilt" was any part of him just building a brand
new house in a well to do neighborhood or not.
[/quote]
I'm sorry, but your dad sounds very controlling and acting like
a parent and not an employer. He paid his employees. It is now
their money. If they chose to spend part of that showing
appreciation toward someone who was is offering them opportunity
for good employment, that is their choice.
Also a VCR was a gift to your "family". They probably recognized
as a small business owner that he spent lots of time on the
business and this gift was a way to thank the entire family. His
reaction to the gift spoiled something that was meant to be a
generous gesture that all of the family could enjoy.
[/quote]
Quite the opposite. Very kind and generous, not a controlling
bone in his body. Again, his reaction at the party was very
thankful and gracious. His rant was in the car on the way home.
#Post#: 9150--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: BeagleMommy
Date: July 20, 2018, 9:26 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I only had this happen once at my current job. An interim
director was returning to her previous position when the new
director came on board. One professor decided she needed a
lunch at a posh restaurant and a gift to thank her for her work
as the interim director. She actually went out and bought the
gift (a piece of jewelry) then informed us that we owed $35.00
each to cover the lunch and gift.
Now, all of the faculty and professional staff make
significantly more money than the two of us who are secretaries.
Had I contributed $35 for this shindig it would have meant less
gas in my car for the week.
We also found out that it was against university policy for
hourly employees to give gifts to salaried employees or be
encouraged to donate for gifts for superiors who were currently
employed.
OP, if you like this person and want to contribute what you can
afford, then do so. If they are requiring everyone to
contribute a specific amount you can choose to pass.
#Post#: 9158--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: lakey
Date: July 20, 2018, 10:58 am
---------------------------------------------------------
BeagleMommy,
At the school where I worked there was a social committee fund
for things that came up, such as baby or wedding showers,
funeral flowers, retirements, and so on. Everyone was asked to
contribute a certain amount at the beginning of the school year.
Hourly employees were asked for half of the amount that salaried
employees contribute. The other thing I liked about the social
committee approach is that there was a standard that applied to
all employees. Retirements, deaths in the family, weddings, and
so on were treated equally for all employees. You didn't have a
situation where some employees' events were acknowledged, and
others' weren't. I would also be fine with an employer's policy
of "no collections".
#Post#: 9217--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: Aleko
Date: July 21, 2018, 5:59 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote ---
> At the school where I worked there was a social committee fund
for things that came up, such as baby or wedding showers,
funeral flowers, retirements, and so on. Everyone was asked to
contribute a certain amount at the beginning of the school year.
Hourly employees were asked for half of the amount that salaried
employees contribute. The other thing I liked about the social
committee approach is that there was a standard that applied to
all employees. Retirements, deaths in the family, weddings, and
so on were treated equally for all employees. You didn't have a
situation where some employees' events were acknowledged, and
others' weren't.
--- End Quote ---
Eurgh! I would hate that - some committee (probably mainly
self-appointed, because that's how these things work) exacting
money for them to use as they see fit on whatever life events
they decide are significant, for people including ones I barely
know or even actively detest. I just don't see it as in any way
the organisation's business to see that everyone gets exactly
the same level of presents and celebration. If things are left
to their colleagues' initiative, the chances are that yes, the
collection taken up for people who have worked there for a long
time and are loved and esteemed by everyone in the office will
finance a party and lavish gifts, while someone who has managed
to make themselves universally-despised in the short time they
were there will be sent on their way with a Tesco cake and a
bunch of flowers. And what, may I ask, is wrong with that?
Also, having a social committee whose avowed purpose is spending
their colleagues' money on gifts and celebrations inevitably
leads to mission creep. It starts with responsibility for
leaving presents, and picks up more and more types of life
events till nothing happens to anyone that there isn't an
obligatory corporate outlay on.
#Post#: 9241--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: Amara
Date: July 21, 2018, 11:34 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I would hate that too. I do not contribute to anything at work
at any time for any reason. I even bowed out of the United Way
crap when I first arrived--I called it the Annual Blackmail and
some fellow employees followed my lead and for the first time
stopped their "contributions" too--and I thoroughly resent any
ideas from anyone to give anything.
It's MY money. I alone earned it. I alone decide what to do with
it. If people retire, have babies, experience family deaths, get
promoted, whatever I verbally express my sympathy or
congratulations. But I will never give even one dollars. It just
is not happening!
#Post#: 9321--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: NyaChan
Date: July 22, 2018, 9:39 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I had never been asked to gift up before this year and to be
honest, it left me feeling resentful of the demander (the
recipient was really embarrassed about the whole thing). One
manager announced she was pregnant. Our director kept bugging
her about wanting to throw a shower, but this was a second child
and the manager was not comfortable with it. After agreeing to
a fun at work lunch but no “showering,” director blindsided the
manager by sending out a shower invite to our whole team and
folks within the department for a Saturday at the director’s
home.
The manager tried to do some damage control by telling her
direct reports that this was not meant to be a gift giving
occasion, but we also had three new employees who would start
work the week after the shower who were invited also. The
director in a meeting where the manager was absent then
commented that one of us should get in touch with the newbies to
let them know their gifts should be in an animal theme. When
someone tried to demur saying they’d hate to assume that the
newbies were planning to bring a gift, the director declared
“well what kind of person would show up without a gift??” Cue
manager’s direct report turning red and admitting that he had
taken his manager at her word and not planned on bringing a
gift. In the end, we all gifted, the manager was uncomfortable,
and the director who no doubt makes twice our salaries got the
shower she so wanted.
#Post#: 9329--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way
more than you
DIR By: Venus193
Date: July 22, 2018, 12:46 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
It really annoys me when some brown-nosing person decides to
take up a collection for a serious higher-up who makes 20x the
money of the people who are shanghaied into contributing.
I wonder how many recipients of this steal the lunches of those
employees.
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