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#Post#: 6259--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: June 20, 2018, 9:25 pm
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The one time I was making grumbly comments about the fact that
the person retiring made a lot more money than I did was because
someone who worked in HR rather blithely announced that they
thought everyone in the company should be made to contribute $25
each. At the time, $25 was a significant chunk of my paycheck.
I was angry and slightly panicked. I also scarcely knew the
man.
Fortunately, someone higher up decided that the company would
purchase a retirement gift, so I was spared. So my take is it
is okay to ask, and to pass around an envelope as long as there
is absolutely no pressure.
#Post#: 6297--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: bopper Date: June 21, 2018, 10:30 am
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Ask a Manager had a similar topic:
HTML http://www.askamanager.org/2018/06/my-friend-might-get-fired-coworker-spoke-for-the-group-without-checking-with-us-and-more.html
I think the answer is that any $ should be strictly voluntary
and similar treatment should be offered for all employees. So if
you gather $ for flowers for a funeral for the VP and send it to
the whole company, then you should do it for everyone. Otherwise
you should ask the VPs peers/people working with her/him just
like you would for the lowest level employee.
#Post#: 6303--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: SnappyLT Date: June 21, 2018, 10:58 am
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My initial reaction was to agree withe the OP that I would not
think highly of being asked to contribute toward a good-bye gift
for someone who earns so much more than I do.
Then I got to thinking.
Many years ago I worked for a non-profit organization. The
vice-president of the division I worked for probably earned
three or four times my piddly salary. He was also one of the
most thoughtful and effective administrators I have ever
encountered. I respected him more than anyone else I have ever
worked for.
I moved on before he did - so I wasn't asked to contribute
toward a gift for him, but I would have given because I
respected him so highly.
#Post#: 6304--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: TootsNYC Date: June 21, 2018, 11:01 am
---------------------------------------------------------
were I a very-high-up person, I wouldn't be comfortable w/
people very far down the totem pole being directly approached.
If it was generally made known that some people were going to
get me a gift, and then someone lower on the org chart
volunteered, I'd be touched.
But if someone below me on the org chart were leaving, even
several layers down, I would be more likely to pitch in. If only
because I have absolutely benefitted from their work over the
time they worked there.
#Post#: 6310--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: Aleko Date: June 21, 2018, 11:37 am
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I'm appalled how normal it seems in US workplaces for someone
simply to decide how much everyone is to contribute for
someone's birthday or someone leaving and simply instruct them
all to pony up. Here in the UK the normal thing is to buy a
card, stick it in a big manila envelope and pass it round the
office, or email everyone to tell them "the envelope for Jack's
leaving present is on Jane's desk". Then everyone signs the card
who wants to, and puts into the envelope as much money as they
feel moved to give. There's no pressure, since nobody knows if
you put anything in and if so how much.
This is not only pleasanter for everyone, it means that the
recipient can be confident that the price of their
birthday/farewell gift was given with genuine goodwill, not
demanded from their colleagues by the office busybody.
#Post#: 6311--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: dani321 Date: June 21, 2018, 11:37 am
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=400.msg6226#msg6226
date=1529532115]
[quote author=dani321 link=topic=400.msg6164#msg6164
date=1529514260]
snip
And to be honest, the relative income is going to come into play
as well, because at this point the gift isn't being given out of
generosity, but out of peer pressure. It's one thing to decide
you'd like to give a gift to someone, for example I get my boss
something for Christmas every year, because I've known him and
worked for him my entire adult life. Of course he makes much
more than I do, and he could easily buy anything I may give to
him, but it's the thought that counts and it's my way of saying
I appreciate him. On the other hand, we used to take a
collection from all of the employees to buy a gift with, but
over the years I stopped coordinating that, for this reason:
none of the employees should feel pressured in any way to give
towards a gift for their boss, even if they can contribute any
amount they want or don't really have to contribute at all. I
can totally understand someone having a hard time contributing
towards a gift for someone who makes a lot more money than they
do, especially if they feel that the contribution was expected
or that there may be negative consequences for refusing to
contribute.
TL;DR I think asking for donations in a workplace situation
should be done very delicately, and very rarely, and the
emphasis should always be that contributions are voluntary and
anonymous.
Also - I'm mostly speaking to workplace gift-giving situations
here. I definitely don't think it would be appropriate to say,
go to a wedding, but refuse to give any gift at all because the
couple is more well-off than you, etc.
[/quote]
We don't know if the OP is feeling pressured nor do we know how
the request was made. It could have been a an email saying "Hi,
we are collecting money for a gift for Boss. If you'd like to
contribute, drop off something at Mary's desk."
I agree that no one at work should ever feel pressured to give a
gift. I know that in my 30 years in corporate America, I've
never felt pressured or if someone was tracking if or how much I
was adding to the envelope being passed around.
The OP only stated she felt it inappropriate to collect for a
gift because it was a senior person leaving. That would imply to
me that she would be ok to contribute and not feel pressured if
it was a more junior person receiving the gift.
[/quote]
I don't think it's appropriate to put any pressure on an
employee to give any gift for any other employee, regardless of
relative income. I have never experienced this pressure, but I
know others have, and there can be negative consequences for
those who choose not to participate. I think sending out an
email, as described above, is perfect. It lets everyone know
without putting any pressure on them for an answer. OP said they
were asked, so in my mind I'm thinking someone is asking them
directly and waiting for an answer, and that could have just
been my own projection, not what happened at all! If it was an
email like Hmmm described, then I think it should just be the
same across the board (including all long term employees who
leave the company) and it's fair. You (general) may balk at the
idea of giving money towards a gift for someone who makes a lot
more than you do, but you also may gladly give, and either of
those reactions are perfectly valid in my opinion, as long as
you keep you keep any negative comments to yourself ;D
#Post#: 6313--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: lowspark Date: June 21, 2018, 11:50 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=400.msg6310#msg6310
date=1529599030]
I'm appalled how normal it seems in US workplaces for someone
simply to decide how much everyone is to contribute for
someone's birthday or someone leaving and simply instruct them
all to pony up. Here in the UK the normal thing is to buy a
card, stick it in a big manila envelope and pass it round the
office, or email everyone to tell them "the envelope for Jack's
leaving present is on Jane's desk". Then everyone signs the card
who wants to, and puts into the envelope as much money as they
feel moved to give. There's no pressure, since nobody knows if
you put anything in and if so how much.
This is not only pleasanter for everyone, it means that the
recipient can be confident that the price of their
birthday/farewell gift was given with genuine goodwill, not
demanded from their colleagues by the office busybody.
[/quote]
It's not really normal "in the US". These are anecdotes which
don't necessarily represent the norm of this huge country. So...
yes, it's appalling when people do that sort of thing, but just
like for any other rude behavior, it's always the ones who
display it that get talked about. I'm sure those people exist in
many locations throughout the world.
In my office, it's just like what you described. A card and
small envelope for money get put into an inter-office manila
envelope and get passed around. People put money in and sign the
card or not as they see fit. No one knows who put money and who
didn't.
#Post#: 6335--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: cleargleam Date: June 21, 2018, 2:49 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I always learned "gift down, not up".
#Post#: 6346--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: TootsNYC Date: June 21, 2018, 3:12 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=400.msg6310#msg6310
date=1529599030]
I'm appalled how normal it seems in US workplaces for someone
simply to decide how much everyone is to contribute for
someone's birthday or someone leaving and simply instruct them
all to pony up. Here in the UK the normal thing is to buy a
card, stick it in a big manila envelope and pass it round the
office, or email everyone to tell them "the envelope for Jack's
leaving present is on Jane's desk". Then everyone signs the card
who wants to, and puts into the envelope as much money as they
feel moved to give. There's no pressure, since nobody knows if
you put anything in and if so how much.
This is not only pleasanter for everyone, it means that the
recipient can be confident that the price of their
birthday/farewell gift was given with genuine goodwill, not
demanded from their colleagues by the office busybody.
[/quote]
This is exactly what has been done in every U.S. workplace I've
ever been in. So it's not a country thing.
#Post#: 6350--------------------------------------------------
Re: 'I'm taking up a contribution' - for someone who earns way m
ore than you
By: Hmmm Date: June 21, 2018, 3:29 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=400.msg6310#msg6310
date=1529599030]
I'm appalled how normal it seems in US workplaces for someone
simply to decide how much everyone is to contribute for
someone's birthday or someone leaving and simply instruct them
all to pony up. Here in the UK the normal thing is to buy a
card, stick it in a big manila envelope and pass it round the
office, or email everyone to tell them "the envelope for Jack's
leaving present is on Jane's desk". Then everyone signs the card
who wants to, and puts into the envelope as much money as they
feel moved to give. There's no pressure, since nobody knows if
you put anything in and if so how much.
This is not only pleasanter for everyone, it means that the
recipient can be confident that the price of their
birthday/farewell gift was given with genuine goodwill, not
demanded from their colleagues by the office busybody.
[/quote]
I think reading stories on boards like this is giving you the
wrong impression. It is not normal at all. 30 years in corporate
America and neither my DH or I have ever experienced this at
all. The closest in " real life" knowledge I've ever known was
25 plus years ago, my roommate worked at a small bank and a good
friend of her's who also worked there was pregnant and one of
the admins suggested everyone in the loan department donate $25
toward a stroller. My roommate had already decided on a baby
gift and couldn't decide whether to contribute to the group gift
or not.
Even here, the OP did not specify how the request was made. It
every well could have been the pass the card/envelope around
method that is also the norm in my experience.
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