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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 5200--------------------------------------------------
Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: Bada
Date: June 12, 2018, 8:36 am
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We were at a fundraising brunch at church this weekend. DH and I
are nearly at the end of the line (maybe like 4 people behind
us), with me holding Son. A woman swoops in front if me just as
I reach the front of the line. She points to the couple who was
going through the line and says "Do you mind if I just cut in
here? I'm with them." The couple she was with didn't even
glance at her.
I was annoyed that she'd cut in front of someone holding a
squirmy toddler when the line itself was so short, but of course
said it was fine. But she hadn't really been waiting on my
response, either, she had already put her hand on the silverware
to start grabbing.
I know she was being rude, but it still feels rude to tell her
to go to the end of the line. (She at least would have thought I
was rude for not giving the favor, and saying no at that late
moment at the front of the line would have just held us all up.)
Would you have said something? It's not like she was a child
nervous about getting separated or was jumping in to help a
family with children or anything. She just wanted to stand in
proximity to her friends and get food at the same time...which
she would have even if she had waited in line.
To add insult to injury, she thought she was all cute. The
server plated 2 pancakes and passed the plate to her. She
refused one and they took it back. I asked for an extra and she
joked "you can have my other pancake", despite the fact that it
was clear there was too much food prepared (and the fact that I
was clearly serving Son, so it's not like they were thinking of
refusing me).
#Post#: 5212--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: Pattycake
Date: June 12, 2018, 9:28 am
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Rude she was, but no, I wouldn't have said anything. I might
have rolled my eyes or otherwise made some expression on my
face, involuntarily... I don't understand adults who feel the
need to do this, especially when there's plenty of food. She's
not going to not get any food, would her friends run out on her
before she was done? No, so what's the rush.
#Post#: 5215--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: June 12, 2018, 9:47 am
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She was definitely rude. Would you have been rude to say
actually you do mind? Nope. But I also understand the desire to
not want to make a fuss. Sometimes, it is just not worth it. She
was obviously not looking for an answer from you and the fact
that you did not do the "Ohhh... it is perfectly fine, please go
ahead of me Madam SpecialPants" is probably why she tried to
make the "joke". Sometimes the best response is none... let her
sit in the uncomfort (if there was any.)
#Post#: 5217--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: June 12, 2018, 10:26 am
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grrr, I -hate- people who rely on societal norms of politeness
to advantage themselves rudely like this.
I think you could say, "I'm sorry, since I have a toddler, I
really don't want any delays."
(Of course, you have to think fast on your feet!)
And then she'd be all, "I'm just one person!" and she'd start
interacting cutely with your toddler. Grrrr.
One thing I've learned living in NYC is that often it's just not
worth it to make the fuss. What do I want? A peaceful life. I
don't get there by getting in fights with people who push ahead
in line. They've already proved they're jerks, and they've
already proved that they've got the nerve to make all kinds of
arguments, so I know what I'll get.
But I might be so mad that I wouldn't be responsive to the
slightest overture from that person. I didn't do them any kind
favors, so I'm not interested in friendliness with you. They
might just get the blank face, And they might -even- get the cut
direct (where you act as though someone isn't even there; you
never look at them, you don't react when they speak, etc.). It
would depend how mad I was.
#Post#: 5236--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: Victoria
Date: June 12, 2018, 11:36 am
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I think that this is a good example of when you would have been
technically correct but would have felt or potentially looked
rude to refuse. We really need a word for this sort of
situation.
#Post#: 5258--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: CrazyDaffodilLady
Date: June 12, 2018, 1:28 pm
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I would not have slowed down the overall process by objecting to
her rudeness, but her attempts at cuteness would have definitely
gotten the icy stare of death.
#Post#: 5269--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: June 12, 2018, 2:58 pm
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I would have loved to say something but probably end up looking
at her with a blank stare which may even be a better response.
Saying something will make her get defensive but a blank stare
is just.....uncomfortable. For her. (where's the evil smiley?)
#Post#: 5273--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: Isisnin
Date: June 12, 2018, 3:25 pm
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I wish I thought fast on my feet. reading it, and not in the
moment, I can come up with:
"Here? Yes I do mind. But I don't mind if you cut in behind me."
#Post#: 5274--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: stonecoldnegan
Date: June 12, 2018, 3:27 pm
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I think I'm gonna be in the minority here, but I would have 100%
said something.. Line-cutters are a big pet peeve for me, I
think it demonstrates such an entitled attitude. I would have
said something like “Yes I do. I've been waiting for XX
amount of minutes”. And then just turn away and keep
smiling ;D Just this past weekend I attended a county fair,
the line to the ladies room was quite long. We were about 10-15
people in line,I had been waiting for 15 minutes. A woman just
blew by everyone waiting in line, and proceeded to rattle all
the stall doors (I guess she thought there were empty ones,
despite everyone obviously waiting for one to free up? ???). She
then tried to casually insert herself in front of me, and I said
in a neutral tone of voice “The end of the line is back
there”. She said “This is ridiculous, i can't wait
that long”. I didn't respond any further, just stared at
her until she finally went to the back of the line. That usually
works. I'm a pretty passive person and am generally patient,
line cutting is not something I will tolerate (unless its an
elderly/mobility reduced person). If everyone became a line
cutter the whole system would fall apart haha. :P
#Post#: 5289--------------------------------------------------
Re: Do you mind if I just cut in here?
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: June 12, 2018, 5:30 pm
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--- Quote from: Isisnin link ---
>
> I wish I thought fast on my feet. reading it, and not in the
moment, I can come up with:
>
> "Here? Yes I do mind. But I don't mind if you cut in behind
me."
>
--- End Quote ---
This is witty and funny, but I would not encourage this
response. Then you become rude to the person waiting behind you.
Line cutters are not just cutting in front of whoever is next,
but everyone behind them, too. But I get what you trying to say!
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