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#Post#: 4213--------------------------------------------------
Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances -Update #16
DIR By: NyaChan
Date: June 2, 2018, 4:15 pm
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Short question: What is a good gift to give someone who is
moving away? I believe they will be driving, but it is a
permanent move with 3 kids so I don’t want to give a burdensome
object.
Long background which you can totally skip:
When I first moved to my current location 5 years ago, I made a
friend at work and for a while she was my only friend. Over
time, I found that there was some selfishness and inconsiderate
behavior that made it hard to stay friends. This culminated in
her doing a couple things I just didn’t think I could forgive
and I did a slow fade. Strangely enough her husband continued
to invite me over even when she and I stopped socializing. In
the midst of that, they decided to move the family out of state.
Apparently they sent me a FB invitation to a going away party
which I didn’t see because I never use FB. They mentioned to a
mutual friend that they thought I must be angry at them because
I hadn’t RSVP’d which is when I figured out there was even a
party to begin with. She then sent a mutual friend to me to
return something they had borrowed instead of returning it
herself. I’m just not sure what to give in light of the
tension. I know others are bringing gifts, so I don’t want to go
empty handed.
#Post#: 4218--------------------------------------------------
Re: Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: June 2, 2018, 4:49 pm
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A gift card for gas? Or for food for the road? Or for a grocery
store chain that exists in their new town? Or some place like
Target, Home Depot, where they might be, oh, a plunger, or hooks
for the new bathroom...
Those would be most useful, and you can put them in a card with
a note about hoping you can make the drive easier (gas card,
food), or make their first few meals in their hometown easier
(grocery card)? Or settling into their new space easier
(Target/HomeDepot)?
#Post#: 4226--------------------------------------------------
Re: Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances
DIR By: Luci
Date: June 2, 2018, 8:19 pm
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Why do you feel you need to give her anything?
#Post#: 4231--------------------------------------------------
Re: Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances
DIR By: NyaChan
Date: June 2, 2018, 10:02 pm
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--- Quote from: Luci link ---
>
> Why do you feel you need to give her anything?
>
--- End Quote ---
I hadn’t initially thought to get them something. Then I
realized that the other attendees were intending to bring a gift
and was worried that by not bringing something I’d look
like I’d dropped the ball or didn’t care. The
mutual friend for example showed me her gift for the husband
which is for a hobby all three of us share and likely cost $40+
That’s what made me think this might be a gift-giving
event. Not traditionally, but if everyone else is....?
Toots, Target does sound like a good idea - they have kids so
between groceries, toys, and home things I would think
they’ll find a use for it.
#Post#: 4240--------------------------------------------------
Re: Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances
DIR By: lakey
Date: June 3, 2018, 12:15 am
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Just my personal opinion, for what it's worth, I think the best
gift you could give her, if you haven't already done it, would
be to clear up the misunderstanding over the Facebook
invitation. Just let her know that you weren't angry, but missed
the invitation because you don't do Facebook. Maybe you've
already done that. If so ignore my suggestion.
As far as a gift goes, a nice letter or greeting card with a
message telling them you hope they enjoy their new home, and you
can enclose a gift card to Target as others have said.
Anyway, I think it is a mistake for people to assume that others
check Facebook. I too almost never go to it.
#Post#: 4259--------------------------------------------------
Re: Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances
DIR By: Anastasia Beaverhausen
Date: June 3, 2018, 10:02 am
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We had some good neighbors move away a year ago. They had a
photo on Facebook of all 6 of their children together so I took
it and had it put on a personalized Yankee Candle. They loved
it.
#Post#: 4324--------------------------------------------------
Re: Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances
DIR By: CrazyDaffodilLady
Date: June 4, 2018, 2:55 am
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This gift depends on the ages of the children, but you could put
together a box of stuff to keep the children entertained during
the moving trip. There's a lot of cool things available at a
dollar store.
Ideas include MadLib books, magnetic games, coloring books,
bubbles, light-up necklaces, small stuffed animals . . . dollar
stores are full of this stuff.
#Post#: 4329--------------------------------------------------
Re: Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: June 4, 2018, 6:41 am
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For what it's worth, I have never heard of giving gifts to
people who are moving away. I certainly don't think they are
mandatory.
I agree with lakey that a good gift would be to let them know
you weren't snubbing them, you simply didn't see the Facebook
invite.
Finally, not sure if the party date has already passed, but even
if it hasn't, you aren't obligated to attend if you'd rather
not.
#Post#: 4342--------------------------------------------------
Re: Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: June 4, 2018, 8:54 am
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I usually gift a consumables (ie. cookies), but I do like the
gift card idea in this case.
I agree that the best thing that you can do is to clear the air.
Explain missing the Facebook invitation.
#Post#: 4397--------------------------------------------------
Re: Moving Away Gift in Uncomfortable Circumstances
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: June 4, 2018, 2:04 pm
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I like the gift card idea, too. I don't care for the idea of
giving *things* to someone who's packing up all their stuff to
move, especially if they're the ones packing the boxes. Every
time I move, I end up getting rid of a lot of stuff, but there's
still so much!
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